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Thread: Losing a Mom

  1. #241
    I won't forget Cootie's Avatar
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    Re: Losing a Mom

    Quote Originally Posted by myrosiedog;3232296;
    My mom used to have pickled peaches and candied crab apples on Thanksgiving. I thimk she was the only one that ate those. Her last Thanksgiving (and we all knew it would be), I went to 3 stores trying to find those damn peaches and crabapples for her. I haven't bought them since then, but I always think about them.
    My mom had to make 2 types of gravy on Thanksgiving becase me and her grandkids wouldn't eat the giblet gravy, so we had to have plain. My nephew started calling it Organ gravy and my mom used to think that was hysterical. She'd always announce, this is the ORGAN gravy and this one is for the picky people.
    Holidays are hard and there is ONE day over the Christmas season that it hits me. I never know when, but it usually does. Thankfully not on Christmas Eve anymore as I'm sure that there is an entire church full of people that still wonder about the woman sobbing and having to run out during a candlelight version of Silent Night. Usually a time of celebration, but not for me that year.
    Volcano gravy, organ gravy and gravy for picky people! My husband likes to make that organ gravy - I will have to call it that now! I am into the picky people gravy myself.

    It is very hard for me on the holidays when it is time to think of gifts for people. Because I always used to have fun thinking of things to make or buy for my mom. My dad even used me as a consultant because she liked his gifts better after I made suggestions to him. He used to give her practical gifts like a washing machine or a vacuum or a flannel nightgown(now I would like any of those things, but I am not like my mom in that way). She wanted romantic gifts from him and it took him a while to understand that. So I got him into buying her pearls and other lovely things. Interestingly enough, I got some of those items from her jewelry box after she died. I haven't really worn them, but like the memory of how those gifts made her feel.

    Again, the therapy for me to get over the sad spots is to keep busy, savor the wonderful and even crazy memories of the tough times, and to think of others. My daughter has a birthday in a week and I have some nice surprises for her that she won't expect. So I am focused on that for now.

    myrosiedog, I hope that you will have a smooth transition into the holidays and find some extra joy this year!

  2. #242
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    FORT Fogey MRD's Avatar
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    Re: Losing a Mom

    Thank you cootie, I wish the same for you.

    I have my mom's jewelry and I love wearing it. It makes me feel close to her to wear it.
    I have a couple of her coats too and I love wearing them as well.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  3. #243
    Got wings 9/19/2012 buglover's Avatar
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    Re: Losing a Mom

    I always wear mom's rings.........I feel powerful when I have them on. This will be our first Turkey day without my grandmother and my mother......it's going to be very weird to say the least.
    Yup, with donuts!!

  4. #244
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    Re: Losing a Mom

    My mom was about 7 inches shorter than I am, so her clothes all went to her favorite charity that cares for women in need in the area. She did have some interesting coats!

    I do wear my mom's earrings that I gave her. She didn't have many rings, but I do have some rings from my grandma that are very special. When I was a child, I loved looking at my mom's jewelry and trinkets from her childhood that she had saved. She would tell me stories about them. Much of it was costume jewelry that she no longer wore, but it was sparkly and sometimes gaudy. I treasure those stories. I have found pictures of her wearing some of that jewelry. It was fun to give the pieces to others in the family and pass on the stories.

    Buglover, I hope your Thanksgiving is full of good cheer.

  5. #245
    Got wings 9/19/2012 buglover's Avatar
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    Re: Losing a Mom

    Thanks Cootie. I've become used to not having mom around during holidays. She passed 8 years ago. This is our first family holiday without g-ma so we'll have to see how it goes. I'm sure it will be ok, just a little sad though especially since it won't be at her house. We sold it months ago.
    Yup, with donuts!!

  6. #246
    Little Thing SR5Rfan's Avatar
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    Re: Losing a Mom

    The holidays haven't been as hard for me, because years ago we switched Christmas dinner to my house. At the time, I was the only one with a young child and felt it would be unfair to make him leave all his presents to go visiting. This year, it's at HIS place!

    Mom used to make shortbread and butter tarts for Christmas. I found her recipe for the tarts recently so I might try and make them this year. My main concern would be the crust; guess I could buy store-bought.
    I never met a piece of chocolate I didn't like.

  7. #247
    FORT Fogey famita's Avatar
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    Re: Losing a Mom

    SR5Rfan, I say, try to make the crust. It usually isn't too difficult. Flour, shortening, a pinch of sugar and salt, a few sprinkles of water. Work it all together with a fork or dough thingy. Spread flour on the work surface, put your dough blob down, flour your roller and roll out the dough. I used to make pie crusts for my grandmother since she had arthritis so bad. She'd freeze them and take one when ever she wanted to make a pie. Have fun!

  8. #248
    everything under the sun lopevian's Avatar
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    Re: Losing a Mom

    My mom baked delicious pies. She ruined all of us for store bought. Apple, pumpkin, lemon meringue, pecan, boyzenberry...they were damn good. I never tasted the mincemeat pie, though. For Thanksgiving and Christmas, along with the pumpkin, pecan, and/or apple pies, she baked the lone mincemeat. There were a few relatives that really enjoyed it, and she wanted everyone to have a good time.

  9. #249
    I won't forget Cootie's Avatar
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    Re: Losing a Mom

    My mom was a master at baking cookies, so I would say that Christmas was more her thing than Thanksgiving. She would start baking cookies early in December, each time starting with the lighter cookies in the mixer and working her way to molasses and chocolate. She made dozens of them all and shared with neighbors and relatives. Some of them lived in the freezer for a bit. I would help her and enjoyed the whole scene as a child. Now, I try to limit my production due to calorie intake, etc. But I sure love those memories of cookie baking for the holidays. She knew how to make cookies that were crispy on the outside and soft in the middle or whatever the perfec texture was for the cookie she was baking. She was proud of her skill and deserved to be.

    I make the pies for our Thanksgiving meal. I wish I could say I am good at it every year, but it depends upon luck and the apples I pick out, I suppose!

    This conversation we are having is making me fired up for the holidays. I am hoping to have some fun with the cooking, cleaning, gift making and buying gifts that go with this time of year. It is wonderful to have family and friends to share it with even though some of my treasured loved ones have passed on - my mom and grandma.

  10. #250
    everything under the sun lopevian's Avatar
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    Re: Losing a Mom

    Cootie, you do sound excited about the holidays, and that is a beautiful thing. Our dear departed loved ones want us to carry on, and be happy. My Mom loved Christmas, and I know she wants her family to keep the joys of the season alive, and to celebrate as before. I hope you, and everyone who has an empty chair at the table, will have as happy a holiday as is possible. It's easy enough to go through the motions. It's difficult to put your heart into it. My Mom was at the center of nearly everything there was to love about the holidays. Without her, we're just a bunch of deflated balloons, scratching our heads. I can hear my Mom telling us to give thanks, enjoy the turkey, and to, by all means, deck the halls. She's getting a lot of half-hearted "okay"'s in return. And she deserves far better than having us just go through the motions. I hope she understands that it is hard to give your all when you are not in possession of your all. To that, I can hear her saying, "bull crap!".

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