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Thread: Losing a Mom

  1. #11
    Best Buddies Gutmutter's Avatar
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    I'm sorry for your loss lopevian. My father died this summer, but my mom is still her wild, crazy self. I know I'll miss her when her time comes. I recommend a book called Life After Life about people who have had near-death experiences. I found it serendipitously after my dad died and it helped me a lot.
    Count your blessings!

  2. #12
    Just Forting Around roseskid's Avatar
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    Gut, what a fabulous coincidence, because I was just going to recommend it, too. It helped me tremendously after my father died. He died when I was a teenager, but I had never come to grips with it, and many years later I also sort of 'fell' on this book, and it was incredibly helpful and comforting. Lopevian, I highly recommend getting it. It's written by a doctor who witnessed many near deaths and became interested in his patients' stories of what they saw/felt during that 'twilight' time.

    My mother passed away five years ago very unexpectedly, and I still miss her desperately. She was a very warm, funny, caring woman, and was an integral part of our lives, so she left a pretty big void. But I'm trying really hard to live the life she would have wanted me to -- I remember how strong she was after my father died, so she was a good role model. Time does help, but in the meantime try reading this book, and look for a grief counseling group. I didn't do that, but probably would have gotten a lot out of it. One thing that helped me with my mom's passing, is that she died exactly 34 years after my dad (and I mean to the day), also of a heart attack. While I was holding her in ICU in the middle of the night, I closed my eyes, and had this vision of my dad holding his hand out to her. It was at that point I realized she was most likely going to be leaving me. My prayers and thoughts are with you (and Harmoj, and all others grieving for that matter). Good luck to you. If you ever need to talk, just pm me.
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  3. #13
    FORT Fogey
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    Oh lopevian, I'm so, so sorry to read about your recent loss. I'm so sorry.

    I'll write you via PM but for now just know that I am thinking of you and I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, too.

    I'll talk to you soon. :

  4. #14
    Premium Member DesertRose's Avatar
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    Lopevian, I am very sorry for your loss.

  5. #15
    Premium Member dagwood's Avatar
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    Oh, lopevian. I wish I knew what to say to make the pain more bearable. All I can offer is a big

  6. #16
    FORT Fanatic anemone's Avatar
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    lopevian, my heartfelt condolences. You are in my prayers. My dad passed away 8 years ago and my sister 8 months ago. Some days it feels like just yesterday for both of them, but most days I rely on the comfort of good memories that we shared.
    I hope you can take some comfort in knowing that others (at FoRT and in your life) care for you. Take care of yourself. There is no timeline for grief. Take whatever time you need and know that things will get easier for you. PM me if you'd like to talk.

  7. #17
    Wonky snarkmistress Lucy's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry for your loss, Lopevian. I haven't lost my mother -- I dread it, she's so funny and full of life -- but my dad died when I was 15. I'll echo what someone else said -- it will never completely go away, but it will get easier with time.
    It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever. -- David St. Hubbins

  8. #18
    everything under the sun lopevian's Avatar
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    Thank you so much, to all of you, for the kind and helpful words of advise, and for the prayers extended. I wrote down the names of the recommended books, and would very much like to read them. My condolences go out to all of you who have lost a parent, as well as a beloved family member.
    Thank you for the advise about the grief counseling. I will make that call tomorrow, and get in there as soon as possible.

    I'm overcome at the moment. The responses here have touched me so much. And they have helped me. My Mom was with me for fifty years, and I am so grateful for that. My memories of her will keep her alive in my heart.

    Again, thank you all so much, I'm so overcome, and so grateful. Bless each one of you.
    "...Mr. Bluebird on my shoulder..."

  9. #19
    Fort Regular angelic_one2002's Avatar
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    lopevian - please know you are always in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there, my friend.
    "Success is falling nine times and getting up ten." - Jon Bon Jovi

  10. #20
    FORT Newbie mhpercival's Avatar
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    Please accept my sympathies.

    I lost my mom a year ago 12/20, and as an only child it has just been so damned hard. At first it was almost intolerable, now it just stinks. I still get angry every day, I still cry or tear up at least half a dozen times a week.

    After a year I'm at a point where I can think of her, and not only the loss of her. But of something funny we shared, or one of her quirks.

    Hang in there, I know this is short, but I'm at work, I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you.

    Rie

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