Losing a Mom

[Bunny555]

Thank you Lois, that means more to me than I can say and I'm so sorry for your losses.

[dagwood]

Today would have been my Mom's birthday. I was 17 when she and my Dad were killed by a drunk driver. Time does heal a lot of wounds but there are days, like today, that make your heart so heavy.

Oh, Bunny, I am so sorry you lost your parents when you were so young.

[buglover]

You are among friends here Bunny. I lost my mother almost 8 years ago now, my grandmother this year and never knew my father so my closest family are all gone. Hugs to you dear.....it takes a strong person to be able to handle the grief that comes in waves after losing your parents.

[Bunny555]

Thank you everybody for all your kind words.

[bbnbama]

I join in with others sending a big to Lois and Bunny555...yesterday was the 12th anniversary of my dad's death and the pain does become a little more bearable but there are days where it seems like the wound is brand new....

I send many to my fellow FORT family who are hurting and missing their loved ones....

[Lois Lane]

Oh bbnbama...my condolences to you and yours... one of my friends said that the reason we miss them so much is because they were such wonderful parents... How true...

[buglover]

Thanks bbnbama! It is so nice to have friends who can understand the feeling that overcomes you even years later!

[MRD]

Hugs to you all. I know how it feels as well. Mine have been gone now 7 and almost 9 years. It is easier at times at others its still fresh.

But my thoughts and prayers are with you all that have also experienced this. And Bbnbama, the anniversaries seem to be the hardest.

[lopevian]

Hugs to all of you, as well. Our lost loved ones will always be with us. Not in the fashion of our choosing, but with us nonetheless.

I'm as positive as I can be that my Mom's passing was preceded by a gentle, loving foreshadowing. I was spending a week at Disneyland in Oct. '06., and my parents insisted on dropping me off. When they were driving away, my Mom waved at me, and said "goodbye!". She had the biggest smile on her face. I waved back, and this overwhelming feeling of love swept over me. It was powerful, one of those moments you don't choose to have, they just happen. Their car was a little speck when they turned onto the freeway, and I was still standing there, waving goodbye. It was a profoundly moving moment, and it stayed with me the entire week. A "heart full of love" for my Mom was how I described the feeling.

The next time I saw my Mom, she was on life support. After seven weeks in the hospital, she was transfered to an extended care facility. She had a long and uncertain road ahead of her. About a week before Dec. 28th, I decided to take a day and head down to Disneyland. My Mom was in good hands. It was to be a day of respite, and refueling, so I could be in the best of spirits in helping with the recovery she still had ahead of her. The night before I left, my Dad and I both missed calls to each other, and in the morning, we missed each other twice more. When I got to Disneyland, I admired the beautiful Christmas tree, then walked to a favorite spot to again call my Dad. This time I reached him, and he told me my Mom had passed away at 5:30 that morning.

I really believe my Mom wanted me at Disneyland when I got the news. She knew it was going to be the saddest news in the world for me, and I believe she made certain I heard it while ensconced in the happiest place on earth. If I had reached my Dad while traveling down there, I would have turned around and headed for home. I feel Mom knew where I was going, and she wanted me to get there. That moment we had shared nine weeks earlier, the over-powering "goodbye" in front of Disneyland suddenly took on more significance than I ever knew existed. I couldn't do much of anything but cry into my hands, saying "oh no Mom no, not goodbye, no" in my head. At the same time, three pirates nearby were singing a sea shanty, a passing steam boat blew it's whistle, and a giant Goofy was shaking hands with an adorable little kid. I left immediately, passing the Disneyland Marching Band on the way out. They were playing one of my Mom's favorites, Sousa's Stars & Stripes Forever. It's hard to explain how safe and protected I felt there, in the few moments I was there after learning of her death. I felt like I was in a cushion of love.

When I walked out of the park, they were playing Zippity Do Dah over the loud speakers. "My oh my what a wonderful day". I thought of my Mom and her faith, and how she believed it would indeed be a most wonderful day, the day she died. I really believe my Mom gave to me a wonderful and final act of love. On some semi-conscious level, it all registered that day, but it became clearer and more profound in the weeks that followed.

[bbnbama]

lopevian your story has me in tears but it is a beautiful and profound story. I believe, as you do, that your mom was working some of her final magic on you and being at such a special place when you heard of her passing. The fact that you can remember each tiny detail as to what was going on around you is a testament to how that exact moment impacted you.

from me to you........