+ Reply to Thread
Page 8 of 37 FirstFirst 123456789101112131415161718 ... LastLast
Results 71 to 80 of 365

Thread: Rant about your In-Laws

  1. #71
    FORT Fogey katgib13's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Ohio
    Age
    41
    Posts
    1,514

    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    Ah myrosiedog...that's got to be very disappointing for your daughter. Give your daughter a big hug from the Forters! Maybe that will help!

  2. #72
    MRD
    MRD is offline
    FORT Fogey MRD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    somewhere resting
    Age
    52
    Posts
    16,893

    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    Quote Originally Posted by katgib13;2414519;
    Ah myrosiedog...that's got to be very disappointing for your daughter. Give your daughter a big hug from the Forters! Maybe that will help!
    Thanks Kat. I just don't understand how someone can change SO much. She is so completely different than she used to be. I swear she lived 50 years as this free spirit, anything goes, do what you want kind of life and the last 6 years its like she's the head of the family and hands down these laws that MUST be obeyed.

    Which is why I don't talk to her much anymore and if I do, I darn sure don't tell her anything, we just talk about nothing much.

    My mother passed away. I've come to terms with it. I don't NEED another mother at this point in my life. At 45 I'm capable of making my own decisions and if they differ than what she would do, then too bad, its MY life, my decision.

    I just hate that she's doing this to my child now instead of being the fun, crazy aunt she used to be that my child thought was the best person on the face of the earth and now my child wants to avoid her too. She's also driving her own daughter and grandchildren off as well with this attitude. My neice is having a hard time dealing with her own mother and never used too.

    (she drinks and I know that its the alcoholism that has changed her so dramatically. It has to be, that's the only thing that I can think of. But she's drank for 30 years, so why the sudden change? Or did the alcoholism just catch up with her finally?)
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  3. #73
    Nevermind Lotuslander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Lotusland of course
    Posts
    2,107

    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    My in-laws usually invite my partners ex-wife over when we visit as they still consider her their 'daughter' even though it's been years since they've been married, and they somehow think I turned their son gay, and if not for me they'd still be happily married. It used to bother me, and I get the ice treatment from the ex-wife, even though she's now been through three husbands, she still has this fantasy that her and my partner are going to get back together. I'd like to point out that even if he wasn't gay, they never got along, and I keep telling partner he deserves a medal for staying married to her as long as he did. The in-laws are fairly traditional conservatives and I do like them, but it get tiring making excuses for their behavior sometimes. And it's find it they want to maintain a relationship with their ex-daughter in-law but the dinners with her are too much, so I've stopped going.

  4. #74
    Premium Member canuckinchile's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    back in "The Big Smoke"
    Posts
    6,962

    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    That sucks Lotus. You'd think everyone would have moved on by now. I have a girl friend who married a guy who was divorced after several years of marriage and they still consider the ex wife their daughter and treat my friend like crap even though they have been together for 15 years! The ex wife still thinks they'll get back together as well. Some people are just delusional.

  5. #75
    PWS
    PWS is offline
    FORT Fogey
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    15,267

    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    mrd---did her change start when your mom died? Or when she hit menopause?

  6. #76
    MRD
    MRD is offline
    FORT Fogey MRD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    somewhere resting
    Age
    52
    Posts
    16,893

    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    Quote Originally Posted by PWS;2415722;
    mrd---did her change start when your mom died? Or when she hit menopause?
    both happened about the same time. She and my mom were EXTREMELY close, they were more friends than inlaws, they had worked together for years and that really brought them to a close relationship. But her mom was also alive at that time and remained so until 2 years ago after the change in personality started.

    But what's funny is that she would often encourage me to go against my mom (against convention) and did the same to my daughter. Now that my mom is gone and she's changed, if we go against convention (homeschool for instance), she thinks its horrible. I swear she's turned from a radical hippie flower child of the 60's to a conservative BMW driver and republican of the new millinium. And I NEVER thought I would see that at all as she is an artist and supposedly all artistic, creative, off the wall, free spirit, free love, kind of person. Or she used to be.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  7. #77
    Crabby Cancerian remote_goddess's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Where everything has a slight "down-under" flavor and all the pretty boys are named Michael Johns...
    Age
    39
    Posts
    667

    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    Not sure where to post this question, but I think it may fit here in this thread... They're not my in-laws yet, but my boyfriend's mother is causing a little problem and I wonder how I might diplomatically deal with it? I've been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for a while, and it is certainly on track for marraige. However, we're not yet engaged (even though we've discussed it) and we do not live together.

    I have two daughters from my previous marraige and they both love my boyfriend to bits, and vice versa. My youngest will be 10 in the fall, the oldest 13 this summer, and I really don't have any desire to have more children at this stage in my life. I'll be 32 in July, and I'm past the diapers and toddler years and really enjoying this part of the girls' childhood.

    My boyfriend has never been married and has no children. He is great to me and the girls, and says he is thrilled with our family dynamic. He doesn't really have an opinion one way or the other about having another child with me, because he says he never really wanted children but that after experiencing the girls he'd be happy to become a father, but doesn't feel that it is necessary to have a full and complete life. He says the girls are enough.

    So we're pretty much on the same page, and understand that it's open for discussion, but it's not an issue that is immediate or essential for our future. At least, this is how it has been...

    Here's the problem: His mother has recently been dropping little hints that she expects us to have at least one child together. And I believe she has been talking to him about it in private, because he's started saying things that sound like they've been "planted": We're still young enough to have babies; I can't imagine how amazing it would feel to hold a baby of my own in my arms for the first time; Wouldn't it be great to give my mother her first grandchild?

    When she brings this up in my presence, I always say something along the lines of "We'll see what happens, but a baby isn't a necessity to a happy marriage." Boyfriend used to concur, but now he just smiles and mumbles some goobleygock nonsense that doesn't commit him to either of us.

    It's not a huge issue yet, but I feel it has the potential to become one. Anyone have suggestions on the best way to handle this? If she'd just let it be, and be patient, who knows what would happen in the future. I may change my mind when the time actually is right for babies in the picture - after we're married! But with her constant pressure right now I feel rather juvenile and vindictive because there is no way I'm going to let her manipulate us into giving her what she wants.

  8. #78
    MRD
    MRD is offline
    FORT Fogey MRD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    somewhere resting
    Age
    52
    Posts
    16,893

    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    Quote Originally Posted by remote_goddess;2418827;
    Not sure where to post this question, but I think it may fit here in this thread... They're not my in-laws yet, but my boyfriend's mother is causing a little problem and I wonder how I might diplomatically deal with it? I've been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for a while, and it is certainly on track for marraige. However, we're not yet engaged (even though we've discussed it) and we do not live together.

    I have two daughters from my previous marraige and they both love my boyfriend to bits, and vice versa. My youngest will be 10 in the fall, the oldest 13 this summer, and I really don't have any desire to have more children at this stage in my life. I'll be 32 in July, and I'm past the diapers and toddler years and really enjoying this part of the girls' childhood.

    My boyfriend has never been married and has no children. He is great to me and the girls, and says he is thrilled with our family dynamic. He doesn't really have an opinion one way or the other about having another child with me, because he says he never really wanted children but that after experiencing the girls he'd be happy to become a father, but doesn't feel that it is necessary to have a full and complete life. He says the girls are enough.

    So we're pretty much on the same page, and understand that it's open for discussion, but it's not an issue that is immediate or essential for our future. At least, this is how it has been...

    Here's the problem: His mother has recently been dropping little hints that she expects us to have at least one child together. And I believe she has been talking to him about it in private, because he's started saying things that sound like they've been "planted": We're still young enough to have babies; I can't imagine how amazing it would feel to hold a baby of my own in my arms for the first time; Wouldn't it be great to give my mother her first grandchild?

    When she brings this up in my presence, I always say something along the lines of "We'll see what happens, but a baby isn't a necessity to a happy marriage." Boyfriend used to concur, but now he just smiles and mumbles some goobleygock nonsense that doesn't commit him to either of us.

    It's not a huge issue yet, but I feel it has the potential to become one. Anyone have suggestions on the best way to handle this? If she'd just let it be, and be patient, who knows what would happen in the future. I may change my mind when the time actually is right for babies in the picture - after we're married! But with her constant pressure right now I feel rather juvenile and vindictive because there is no way I'm going to let her manipulate us into giving her what she wants.

    I'd have a long hard talk with boyfriend. Make sure you are on the same page. If so, then if you KNOW you don't want anymore children, go have your tubes tied. Then his mother can wish all she wants. It's not HER decision, it's yours and your bf.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  9. #79
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    In Ms. Troubles life and apartment
    Age
    56
    Posts
    9,544

    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    EXACTLY! Don't let Mom tell him what to do. You do need to talk with him now otherwise Mama may be running the marriage if you ever do get married.
    - The Dean Martin Show -

    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

  10. #80
    Crabby Cancerian remote_goddess's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Where everything has a slight "down-under" flavor and all the pretty boys are named Michael Johns...
    Age
    39
    Posts
    667

    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    Thanks guys. And yes, we do obviously need to have a serious discussion about it, but we've had several and always at the end I feel like we've communicated only to be shocked next time it comes up with his mom and he doesn't tell her what he tells me. But really, do you think if she hears it from him she will stop pressuring me? It really freaks me out. And she won't "blame" me if she has to get all her grandchildren from her other son?

    I guess my bigger concern with all of this is the "Momma's Boy" issues this brings up... and really, I've never even suspected that would have been an issue. He's pretty rebellious and free-spirited and has never been a conventional Momma's Boy as far as I could tell. This more than anything worries me.

+ Reply to Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.