I know where you're coming from catmom3. My MIL didn't pay much attention to my kids when they were little except to scold them or tell them what an awful mother they had. Now that they are adults she expects to have a relationship with them and thinks they are terrible because they don't visit her. My daughter lives in Des Moines and my MIL will drive to visit my hubbys nephew who lives about 30 minutes away but has never been to my daughters house. She drives right through the town that my son lives in, right past his house!! but has never stopped to see him. But it's all their fault because they're "spoiled". The way I look at it is that they are the ones who are missing out on knowing some really wonderful people who just happen to be their grandkids.
Unfortunately my parents died when my kids were small so they never really had grandparents. I swear as God is my witness, I will NEVER do that to my kids or grandkids.