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Thread: Rant about your In-Laws

  1. #61
    FORT Fogey Lil Bit's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    I know where you're coming from catmom3. My MIL didn't pay much attention to my kids when they were little except to scold them or tell them what an awful mother they had. Now that they are adults she expects to have a relationship with them and thinks they are terrible because they don't visit her. My daughter lives in Des Moines and my MIL will drive to visit my hubbys nephew who lives about 30 minutes away but has never been to my daughters house. She drives right through the town that my son lives in, right past his house!! but has never stopped to see him. But it's all their fault because they're "spoiled". The way I look at it is that they are the ones who are missing out on knowing some really wonderful people who just happen to be their grandkids.

    Unfortunately my parents died when my kids were small so they never really had grandparents. I swear as God is my witness, I will NEVER do that to my kids or grandkids.
    History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people. Martin Luther King, Jr.

  2. #62
    FORT Fanatic tickerrose's Avatar
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    Wish me luck!

    My husband and I met while working a summer in Bar Harbor, Maine. We fell in love, (it's alright, you can hum "summer lovin" if you want) and continued living in Maine until we got engaged on V-Day (only seven months after we met) and then moved back to my home town in upstate New York to get married and start that whole life thing. He is originally from Colorado Springs and only his mother was able to make it out for the wedding.
    So while my husband has had to get used to my family pretty quickly, I have only really met his mother and that only briefly. We have talked on the phone a few times and we always send cards for the holidays and stuff, but it just seems like his family dynamic is much different then the one I was raised in. We are in each others faces and lives all the time and spend meals, holidays, birthdays and even some of our vacations together. We love it because we can spend so much time with our precious nephews and have the support of the family whenever we need it. Thats not to say, it is always welcome support, but I would rather say, no thanks then have no one around at all.
    Anyway! My hubby's little brother is graduating from HS next week and we are preparing to take a mighty road trip for the occassion. I will be meeting most of his family for the first time and am pretty nervous about it.
    I do not even know his mother well, but I remember at our wedding she changed out of her dress and into baggy sweatpants and a ratty t-shirt about 1/3 of the way through our reception. So about half our pictures, (like when I was dancing with my dad and my hubby with his mom, or some group photos are with everyone else in semi-formal wear and her in her jamies)
    I am excited, and more than a bit nervous.

  3. #63
    FORT Fogey famita's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    tickerrose, I think your mom is someone I'd enjoy talking with! She seems to be down to earth in an earthy way. I don't know if I'd ever be in public in my jammies (it would gross too many people out!), but I'm pretty comfortable in my own skin. I also think it's great the way she left you two alone in your first year or so to get used to each other first without having to deal with the family dynamic. You're used to your family dynamic and I'm sure your husband is used to his family dynamic. How exciting to see how you will all fit together. Have fun!!

  4. #64
    Reformed Perfectionist G.G.'s Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    My former monster-in-law was a nutcase. Seriously certifiable. She was convinced I was a gold-digging "ho"...except there was no gold to dig! She and my then-husband had a huge argument one night and she ended up taking a framed picture off the wall and breaking it over his head. He had a slight cut on the side of his face, but the glass from the picture hit the top of her foot ever just right...and sliced right through a tendon. While she was calling an ambulace for herself (I had just returned with movies from Blockbuster and he was outside trying to keep me out of the fray), she turned on the iron and started to put the iron to the waterbed we had at the time. Well, she ended up in surgery, then ended up spending a week at the local dive hotel (the one every town has), not going to work and crying all the live-long day. DH eventually called law enforcement and have her held for involuntary evaluation. They proclaimed her completely normal (HELLO?) and after he and I split up, she moved in with him.

    GACK! There it is...the Jerry Springer moment in my non-Jerry Springer life.

    PS: He's a peach of a guy, patient as the day is long, but we were not meant to be married, in case anyone was thinking his psycho mom was the root cause.

  5. #65
    FORT Fogey katgib13's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    G.G. My ex MIL was a piece of work, as well. So were my ex SIL's. That family was off the charts nutso. He was the youngest and the only boy and he was a total Momma's Boy. I was young and didn't realize the ramifications of that particular family dynamic. I learned soon enough. She hated me. With a passion. Thought I was going to ruin her baby boys life. I later found out that she offered him money to NOT marry me. Boy, I sure wish he had taken her up on that! She was one of those people who are sickly sweet to your face and then she'd bury a knife in your back. She also thought I was a gold digger. Hello? They were an average middle class family. No fortune to dig there!

  6. #66
    Reformed Perfectionist G.G.'s Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    We know how to pick 'em, don't we?? The funny thing is, he's now remarried to the 21 year old cocktail waitress from the bowling alley who has 2 kids by different fathers. Last time I flew home, I saw him mom at the airport and she nearly knocked me over with her hug. She started crying and telling me how sorry she was that she treated me poorly...and then started telling me what a gold digging beyotch the new wife is...hahahahahahahahahah!

  7. #67
    FORT Fogey famita's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    I just love when it finally comes around full circle!

  8. #68
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    Aaaaarrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghh hhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!

    Thank you. That feels better.

  9. #69
    Premium Member burntbrat's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    Oh no, that's not enough veejer. We want to hear your nightmare so our nightmare doesn't feel so bad.
    One of these days I'll stop being sensitive. Until then, I'll continue to be devastated on a daily basis. Life breaks my heart.

  10. #70
    MRD
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    My SIL is sticking her nose in business that doesn't concern her. I usually just avoid her and when I do talk to her on the phone, I don't tell her anything because then I have to hear her opinion on it which always is different. Mostly this concerns my daughter.

    Well they picked up my daughter at the airport on Sat. and she stayed the weekend with them and my daughter said: NEVER again. She was very upset. Her aunt spent the entire weekend telling her that her decisions were wrongt for her, etc. My SIL doesn't even KNOW my daughter anymore, so how she can form these opinions is beyond me. The bad thing is that this SIL used to be so much fun, anything goes, free spirit, do what feels good, go against convention, etc. And now she's an opinionated, hard to talk to witch and no one wants to be around her anymore.

    Next time she says something to me about my daughter, I'm going to tell her: You raised your child, now let me raise mine.
    And
    Since my mother died, NO ONE appointed YOU head of the family.

    Which is exactly how she acts now.

    I'd just like to ask her what happened: You used to be so much fun and now no one wants to be around you as you shove your ideas and opinions down our throats and don't even listen to anything we have to say. It's all about what you think.

    She was NOT like this until about 6 years ago.

    Anyway, it really upset my daughter who used to think the ground her aunt walked on was magical. My daughter adored her aunt and now doesn't want to be around her again. She's already made other arrangements about getting back to the airport as my brother was going to go pick her up and bring her back to their house for a couple days at the end of the trip and now she says that's not happening. She's got a friend taking her to the airport.
    I feel badly for my daughter as she doesn't have grandparents and this is really the only aunt and uncle she has. She and I have an elderly aunt and cousiin, but really there is no one family wise in my daughter's life anymore and to me that's sad as I grew up with ALL kinds of aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents and other various and sundry relatives.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

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