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Thread: Rant about your In-Laws

  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lois Lane;2212017;
    I don't mean to laugh at you Marley, but that is just such a funny image! I always thought breast feeding came naturally to everyone, but a few of my friends tried and tried and couldn't get it to work for them--so they went to the bottle (and got tons of grief from people who told them they HAD to breastfeed).
    I had MANY problems trying to breast feed. I had attended La Leche League meetings before the baby was born and when I went afterwards and was having to use a bottle because of the breast feeding problems, I was asked not to come back.

    My MIL left me alone about the baby, but my mom used to constantly stay on me about: "is she getting enough water?" "are you changing her regularly?".
    Really used to upset me as if I would NOT take good care of my baby.
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    Quote Originally Posted by myrosiedog;2212300;
    Really used to upset me as if I would NOT take good care of my baby.
    That's always the feeling I got from my MIL. Everything nice they did for us had a "because" attached to it. Like upthread when I gave the example of them giving us $50 once to buy fuel oil for our furnace "because" otherwise we might let the baby get cold. We had not asked them for anything and we were both working and perfectly capable of maintaining our own furnace. This is the same woman who got upset with me once when we were visiting them and I put him down on one of his blankets on the floor for a nap. She wanted me to put him on the bed and safety-pin his clothes to the bedspread so he wouldn't roll off.

  3. #33
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    The crazy thing is that these parents and in-laws surely meant well, but they are so tactless, and they don't seem to care that they're hurting their children's feelings by saying stupid, hurtful things. It's great that they want to leave $50. But how about just saying, "Hey, here's a little money to add for the baby's college fund"?

    Quote Originally Posted by myrosiedog;2212300;
    I had MANY problems trying to breast feed. I had attended La Leche League meetings before the baby was born and when I went afterwards and was having to use a bottle because of the breast feeding problems, I was asked not to come back.
    That's just a shame...instead of helping you, they made you feel unwanted.

  4. #34
    Premium Member burntbrat's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    It's a holiday so they're back. I was doing fairly well until today. I've put up with some crazy stunts, but this evening I was truly offended and I feel like being a bad person (although I haven't yet).

    I am just SO SICK of them thinking that this is their house!! I want them to feel comfortable but this is ridiculous. They haven't paid for anything in this house, they don't make the mortgage payments and they didn't contribute to the down payment 5 years ago. I am fairly strong-willed so I'm doubly confused how it's gotten so out of hand. Or maybe it's not so bad and I'm just anal.

    My problem today was my mother-in-law. I went to the grocery store so I could get out of the house for a few minutes, and she insisted on coming along because she needed to pick up some wine. My sister-in-law (who is also visiting) asked me to pick up a few jars of baby food for her. My mother-in-law picks out the baby food and slips some other baby snacks and cereal into the cart. Then she mentions that she will need to come back in the morning to pick up some fresh bread for the antipasto. I told her two days before that I would be baking fresh bread for Sunday dinner. I said it again. So she said she just wanted to pick up a baguette. So I told her again that I would be baking bread for dinner and there would be plenty for her antipasto. Then she gets 5 bottles of wine and points out that two are for Sunday dinner (Santa Margherita, to add to the two bottles my husband and I have been saving for a special dinner), the other three are cheaper wines. She says that two of them are to replace what she and her husband have drunk the past week. Two bottles won't put a dent into what they've consumed. We went to Sam's club and spent $300 on wine and now only have three bottles left. I think we bought 20 total. Granted, my husband and I drink wine with dinner but it was ridiculous to suggest that two bottles would replace anything. Then we get to the checkout and I guess I'm paying for all the extras she's put in the cart for her grandson. Great.

    We went to a nice Italian restaurant for dinner tonight. There were tons of leftovers and while they were boxing the leftovers up, she said that it was great that we would have some leftover pasta to go with Easter dinner. I flat out said no, I would not be heating up any pasta for Easter dinner because we already had plenty of food and I have a nice meal planned. I already caved on one thing. She bought some tortellini and rather than have it go to waste I said we could make it with some alfredo and have it as a side dish on Sunday, even though it will not compliment the rest of the traditional Easter menu. And then, the thing that got me and I just wanted to scream, she asked the waiter to bag up the rest of the bread so she could serve it with the antipasto tomorrow. I turned my head away from the rest of the table and played with my younger kids for a few minutes because I was so mad I was almost in tears. The bread sucked there. And I'm not a bad baker, not even a little bit. My bread is awesome. My husband knew the whole story, and rather than speaking up and saying that I was making bread and she knew that, he just smiled and winked at me like it was supposed to be some kind of joke between us.

    So I've decided I'm going to make bread for the antipasto tomorrow anyway. I will eat my bread and I don't care. Growing up we always had fresh bread with holiday dinners and it's not something I'm going to give up again this holiday. She can eat her stinky restaurant bread, and I hope it all goes to her hips.
    One of these days I'll stop being sensitive. Until then, I'll continue to be devastated on a daily basis. Life breaks my heart.

  5. #35
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    burntbrat I don't know that I could say anything that would make things better but I am offering you these 2 things:






    I'd say I hope your MIL chokes on her bread but I don't think you want it to go that far......I personally would rather have homemade bread that was made from love than some restaurant bread.

    I'm sorry........
    Reality is the beginning...not the end....Wallace Stevens

  6. #36
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    burntbrat, it is very presumptious of your in laws to expect you to pay for everything, although if you're anything like me, you probably are glad to do it. It'd just be nice if they offered to repay you every now and again. (My parents and inlaws are the opposite--I have to literally fight them off so that they will LET me pay once in a while.) Your MIL sounds like a bit of a control freak. I, too, would gladly opt for fresh baked bread (just the smell of it makes my mouth water) than leftovers.

    One of my BILs is on the cheap side and rarely pays for anything, but he's a really nice guy otherwise, we don't see him too often and so I just have it in my head that when he's around, we'll be paying for him and it's not that big a deal. I don't think your MIL will ever change...and if you don't see her too often, maybe it'll give you a little peace of mind that she will soon be gone but that she WILL be annoying when she comes to visit you but probably doesn't mean it (or does she?!) and is just how she is.

    It'd be nice if your husband would stick up for you, knowing how much she irritates you. Does he know? It's one thing for YOU to tell her...but it's another for her son to say, "Mom, burntbrat makes the best bread and has worked on the menu for a long time to make this special meal for all of us. Just sit back and enjoy!" She'll more likely to take this message better from him than from you...

    I hope you make it through this holiday!!!!

  7. #37
    Premium Member burntbrat's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    Thanks Lois and bbnbama, you guys are always the first to reassure someone even when they have lame problems like mine. I bet you'd be great friends in real life.

    Dinner wasn't as bad as I thought. She didn't have a single piece of my bread but oh well. Now we have an extra loaf for another day. And it was probably the best bread I've ever made. Must be that secret ingredient, spite. Here's a picture of my bread from tonight, just because I don't want you all to think there's some ulterior motive to my mother-in-law's madness.

    One of these days I'll stop being sensitive. Until then, I'll continue to be devastated on a daily basis. Life breaks my heart.

  8. #38
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    Quote Originally Posted by burntbrat;2320265;
    Must be that secret ingredient, spite.
    Too funny!

    You MADE that bread? Holy cow! It looks like the kind from the bakery...when I make mine, it's all gross and disgusting looking...I can see why no one would want to eat mine, but the one you made looks delish!!!!

  9. #39
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    Quote Originally Posted by burntbrat;2320265;
    Must be that secret ingredient, spite.
    Funny! At least you've kept your sense of humor about it all.

    That bread looks delicious!
    Getting lost will help you find yourself.

  10. #40
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    Brat there is still enough bread left for some yummy french toast in the morning make her eat your bread! LOL Yeah, I can be really spiteful
    "Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one."

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