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Thread: Rant about your In-Laws

  1. #291
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    My grandmother always told me that being known as a people pleaser was a dangerous position to find one's self in. It allowed for too much manipilation and control by other people. I took what she said to heart. Our elders can be amazing sources of wisdom.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

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    FORT Fogey Lil Bit's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    And the thing is, in 31 years of marriage, I have NEVER treated her with that kind of disrespect. I have ignored all the little digs and snide remarks and downright bitten my tongue to prevent myself from saying what I would have loved to say. I guarantee, those days are over. She wants a b*tch in the family? Well, now she has one. The gloves are off. I won't go looking for a fight. In fact, I'll be perfectly happy to never see anyone in my husbands family ever again. But from now on, everything that comes my way will get sent right back. I'm not going to grin and bear it anymore. I'm done. And to think that I actually tried to patch things up between my husband and her.

  3. #293
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    hmm and I was just coming in here to complain about my in-laws inconsiderateness.
    This weekend we flew from Sudbury to Toronto to Winnipeg for my SIL's wedding. We were happy to go (at great expense to us)
    All the Manitoba relatives were in town at SIL's house and we were told that they were too busy for anyone to pick us up at the airport!! I was dumbfounded. My family would have NEVER left a sibling stranded at the airport! I still can't believe it. It was only $25 by taxi but that's not the point. I can see if there were actual things going on like setting up and such but we got there and everyone was just standing around bottle in hand.
    Today we checked out of the hotel and went back to SIL's before our flight at 5pm and again no one offered us a ride to the airport. My FIL actually asked my husband if he had called a taxi and when it would arrive to pick us up. No one was doing anything!! Just sitting on their lazy asses!
    I was insulted and flabergasted. My husband got up and went to the phone to call a taxi and his sister (the BRIDE.. who was understandibly (sp? it's been a long day!) busy when we arrived) said NO WAY! I'm driving you! Which should have been my in-laws response from the get-go.
    It was a lovely wedding, everyone was well behaved and I'm a little envious that I didn't do it the way she did with just 50 guests and a wonderful sit down dinner.
    It's remarkable that my husband and SIL have grown up so well.
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  4. #294
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    Quote Originally Posted by Duxxy;3192256;
    hmm and I was just coming in here to complain about my in-laws inconsiderateness.
    This weekend we flew from Sudbury to Toronto to Winnipeg for my SIL's wedding. We were happy to go (at great expense to us)
    All the Manitoba relatives were in town at SIL's house and we were told that they were too busy for anyone to pick us up at the airport!! I was dumbfounded. My family would have NEVER left a sibling stranded at the airport! I still can't believe it. It was only $25 by taxi but that's not the point. I can see if there were actual things going on like setting up and such but we got there and everyone was just standing around bottle in hand.
    Today we checked out of the hotel and went back to SIL's before our flight at 5pm and again no one offered us a ride to the airport. My FIL actually asked my husband if he had called a taxi and when it would arrive to pick us up. No one was doing anything!! Just sitting on their lazy asses!
    I was insulted and flabergasted. My husband got up and went to the phone to call a taxi and his sister (the BRIDE.. who was understandibly (sp? it's been a long day!) busy when we arrived) said NO WAY! I'm driving you! Which should have been my in-laws response from the get-go.
    It was a lovely wedding, everyone was well behaved and I'm a little envious that I didn't do it the way she did with just 50 guests and a wonderful sit down dinner.
    It's remarkable that my husband and SIL have grown up so well.
    Duxxy - I cannot believe that they didn't even offer to pick you up or take you back to the airport! That is SO wrong!

    I'm dealing with a similar situation. Mr. Doxie and I are flying 3,000 miles next week to attend his brother's wedding. We are staying with MIL. She has gone NUTS about this wedding and has talked about nothing else for months. Mr. Doxie is the best man. MIL or BIL better damn well pick us up at the airport! I'm trying to figure out how to smuggle alcohol into my luggage.
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  5. #295
    FORT Fogey famita's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    When I went to visit my son in Fl, he made the reservation for me and thus knew when to pick me up at the airport. I would never make a reservation without him knowing the times to and from. I'm sorry that there are so many inconsiderate people out there.

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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    Quote Originally Posted by Lil Bit;3192137;
    And the thing is, in 31 years of marriage, I have NEVER treated her with that kind of disrespect. I have ignored all the little digs and snide remarks and downright bitten my tongue to prevent myself from saying what I would have loved to say. I guarantee, those days are over. She wants a b*tch in the family? Well, now she has one. The gloves are off. I won't go looking for a fight. In fact, I'll be perfectly happy to never see anyone in my husbands family ever again. But from now on, everything that comes my way will get sent right back. I'm not going to grin and bear it anymore. I'm done. And to think that I actually tried to patch things up between my husband and her.
    I hear you on this completely! I feel the exact same way as you. I have bit my tongue and been so quiet and was always the 'bigger' person. But what for? These people don't play by the rules. So rules go out the window. If they want to start harrassing me again and trying to cause trouble, I am going to totally screw with them. See - this is where we have the upper hand. We are *smarter*! BWA HAHAHAAA!

    I'm not going to name call, I'm not going to do the trailer trash crap that they pull. I'm going to be really calm on the outside but just screw with their heads and turn things around on them. If and when MIL starts trying to make me feel bad with her insults, or if she starts trying to set up my husband with other women again, she is trying to upset me. But instead of getting upset, I will laugh, and say, "wow, that was a really rude thing to say!" and make HER feel like a total a$$. So she will have failed in getting me angry and will have only made herself look stupid. I win.

    She will never see me upset. I will only laugh at her feeble, high school attempts to make me uncomfortable. That's my plan.

  7. #297
    FORT Fanatic onei0091's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    Quote Originally Posted by Duxxy;3192256;
    hmm and I was just coming in here to complain about my in-laws inconsiderateness.
    This weekend we flew from Sudbury to Toronto to Winnipeg for my SIL's wedding. We were happy to go (at great expense to us)
    All the Manitoba relatives were in town at SIL's house and we were told that they were too busy for anyone to pick us up at the airport!! I was dumbfounded. My family would have NEVER left a sibling stranded at the airport! I still can't believe it. It was only $25 by taxi but that's not the point. I can see if there were actual things going on like setting up and such but we got there and everyone was just standing around bottle in hand.
    Today we checked out of the hotel and went back to SIL's before our flight at 5pm and again no one offered us a ride to the airport. My FIL actually asked my husband if he had called a taxi and when it would arrive to pick us up. No one was doing anything!! Just sitting on their lazy asses!
    I was insulted and flabergasted. My husband got up and went to the phone to call a taxi and his sister (the BRIDE.. who was understandibly (sp? it's been a long day!) busy when we arrived) said NO WAY! I'm driving you! Which should have been my in-laws response from the get-go.
    It was a lovely wedding, everyone was well behaved and I'm a little envious that I didn't do it the way she did with just 50 guests and a wonderful sit down dinner.
    It's remarkable that my husband and SIL have grown up so well.

    That is crazy that no one picked you up. WOW. And they were all just sitting around? How inconsiderate! I bet you questioned why you travelled all that way for a bunch of people that couldn't bother picking you up at the airport. At least your sister in law appreciated that you came all that way and was willing to give you a ride.

  8. #298
    MRD
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    Quote Originally Posted by onei0091;3191997;
    Yes! I have this book, as well as 'Toxic Parents' by the same author. I have several others on the topic too that helped me understand his family situation better. They were actually very helpful.

    I think what was really difficult for us was that my husband really wasn't seeing things as they were for a long time as far as his family of origin was concerned. He made excuses for their behavior - chalking up most things to 'misunderstandings' or 'she didn't mean it like that, I"m sure' - and, unfortunately, I doubted myself long enough until so much had happened, and things got SO bad that there were really no excuses and I knew I wasn't 'imagining' things. Now I'm to the point of no return. I'm not sure that I could *ever* forgive my in laws or deal with them again.

    But yeah, MRD, it has been really tough to be in this situation. I find it a bit embarrassing that things are so crazy between me and my husband's family. You know, my friends will get together, have some small complaints about their in laws, and all I can contribute is, 'My in laws don't speak to me and haven't for years", and then the uncomfy silence follows. My friends don't get it, because I'm very easy to get along with and quite the people pleaser, so, although I'm sure there have been plenty of people who didn't like me, I've never had to deal with a group of people that were so blatent about it. Why? That's what I don't get. It's almost like it's fun for them...a sick game or something.
    Anyway, yeah. It certainly is a weird situation to be in. I'm only 4 years into my marriage. And my in laws are in their early 50s. Is it really possible to have nothing to do with eachother forever? I mean, I'm probably going to see them at some point? Or no? Can I get away with avoiding them altogehter? That would be great. LOL.
    Some people live for that kind of drama. It's their problem, not yours. No need to feel guilty or to explain to your friends. You've done nothing. It's their fault and if your friends dont' understand, then it's their problem too. Not everyone had fairy tale inlaws. If they did there wouldn't be so many inlaw jokes or movies like Meet the Fokkers and the Inlaws, etc.



    LilBit, I don't get people that try to divide up loyalties like that. I'm glad your husband put her in her place. Those are high school tactics at at her age, you'd think she had grown out of that.
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  9. #299
    FORT Fanatic onei0091's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    Quote Originally Posted by myrosiedog;3193199;
    Some people live for that kind of drama. It's their problem, not yours. No need to feel guilty or to explain to your friends. You've done nothing. It's their fault and if your friends dont' understand, then it's their problem too. Not everyone had fairy tale inlaws. If they did there wouldn't be so many inlaw jokes or movies like Meet the Fokkers and the Inlaws, etc.



    LilBit, I don't get people that try to divide up loyalties like that. I'm glad your husband put her in her place. Those are high school tactics at at her age, you'd think she had grown out of that.
    Well said, MRD. They do live for drama and like to create chaos and instigate fights. And they always seem angry about something. When it wasn't me they were angry at, my mother in law would spend every waking moment complaining to me about someone else. It was really draining to be around her. She sucks. LOL.

    Kinda funny, but they so remind me of really nasty high school girls. I never knew any personally when I was a teenager, but you'd see them in movies. Remember all of those 80s movies, like Heathers? Or Pretty In Pink? Where the girls would all be really catty and rude to eachother, going out of their way to make someone else uncomfortable? Seriously, that is what my mother in law and sister in law remind me of. Over the top!

  10. #300
    FORT Fogey Ellen's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    My monster-in-law just passed away the other day. I try to be "appropriately" sad for my DH, but honestly, I'm just relieved that I never have to deal with her manipulation, complaining, etc. ever again. Really, I'm not a terrible person. Sometimes, it just seems that way.
    "There's no crying in baseball!"
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