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Thread: Rant about your In-Laws

  1. #251
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    As harsh as it sounds to say it, my in-laws, (MIL, in particular) convinced me that the only good in-law is a dead in-law! I did learn that once you laid down the law with them, you would get your respect...or at least be left alone. I remember having a finger-wagging, "now let me tell you one thing...." :nono conversation with my MIL. It was about her speaking of me in a negative way in front of my son (he was about 4-5), and that upset him. It was just the two of us, and you could have heard a pin drop in that room. We didn't have to revisit that subject again. I had to high-5 myself when I left her house that day! I do applaud those of you who live great distances away....smart thinking.

    A good thing about her was that she loved and took good care of my son, and they had a great relationship. I didn't have to care for her to care about how my son felt about her, and respect that relationship. I'm glad he had her, and her witch daughter!
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

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  2. #252
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    Quote Originally Posted by Newfherder;2862922;
    Ooh, I do! Pick me! Pick me

    My ex-mother-in-law once asked me the difference between astronomy and astrology. I told her that one of them was based on science. She was dead serious when she answered, "I thought astronomy was a science, too."

    Ohhhhh no she didn't..



    Quote Originally Posted by prhoshay;2862929;
    As harsh as it sounds to say it, my in-laws, (MIL, in particular) convinced me that the only good in-law is a dead in-law! I did learn that once you laid down the law with them, you would get your respect...or at least be left alone. I remember having a finger-wagging, "now let me tell you one thing...." :nono conversation with my MIL. It was about her speaking of me in a negative way in front of my son (he was about 4-5), and that upset him. It was just the two of us, and you could have heard a pin drop in that room. We didn't have to revisit that subject again. I had to high-5 myself when I left her house that day! I do applaud those of you who live great distances away....smart thinking.

    A good thing about her was that she loved and took good care of my son, and they had a great relationship. I didn't have to care for her to care about how my son felt about her, and respect that relationship. I'm glad he had her, and her witch daughter!
    Well at least the finger wagging session worked...

  3. #253
    FORT Fogey Lil Bit's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    My MIL criticized me to my children all the time when they were little, not to mention treating them unfairly compared to some of her other grandchildren. Well now that my kids are all grown up they want nothing to do with her. They don't wish her any harm, they just don't have any feelings for her, good or bad, and my MIL just can NOT understand it. Now that they are adults she would like to have a relationship with them and they really couldn't care less. She constantly complains that my kids never come to see her but she doesn't see that she drives right past my sons house to go and visit one of her other grandkids and has never stopped to say hi. She visits another grandchild who lives about 30 minutes from my daughter, but has never gone to see my daughter. Maybe I should encourage them to let bygones be bygones and go "see grandma", but on the other hand, she caused this rift and they are adults capable of making their own decisions.

    It breaks my heart though, because both of my parents died when my kids were very young and they grew up without really having grandparents. So when people accuse me of spoiling my granddaughter, I always say, "yup!! and I'll spoil her and any future ones until the day I die"!!

  4. #254
    FORT Fogey veejer's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    I realized yesterday that I need to cut my MIL some slack. She has a lot of health problems and other issues going on that I was not aware of, and those have caused her to have some depression. On top of that, they were having phone issues last week. The repairman finally came and did something that fixed it immediately, but of course it stopped working within half an hour of him leaving. She's 74 and thinks of her cell phone as "For Emergencies Only", so didn't think to use it.

    I think that she had really wanted to invite us over sooner for Easter, but with her health and depression didn't feel up to it. After her cleaning lady came on Thursday, I think she felt up to it as long as SIL and I did most of the food. She was much improved by having the family around her yesterday. She is the worst worrier that I know, always borrowing trouble from tomorrow. Her stomach hurts when she eats so she's been eating very little and has lost 20 pounds in 4 months. The doctors can't find anything major wrong, but she does have some more tests scheduled in a couple of weeks. mr. veejer and my FIL think a lot of her pain is caused by her stressing out over everything (and nothing), but there isn't a lot that we can do to stop her except to stay positive and encouraging ourselves.

    My FIL is 77, but looks and acts years younger than she does.

    So, in cutting her some slack, I'm staying out of this thread!!!!

  5. #255
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    I remember telling my MIL, once, that she was such a worrier...that she would become worried about not having anything to worry about. The woman really just didn't have enough to do to occupy herself....and you always had to hear about it.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  6. #256
    FORT Fogey justCoz's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    Quote Originally Posted by Newfherder;2862922;
    Ooh, I do! Pick me! Pick me

    My ex-mother-in-law once asked me the difference between astronomy and astrology. I told her that one of them was based on science. She was dead serious when she answered, "I thought astronomy was a science, too."
    Perhaps if you thought like my husband you'd understand her. He said one is a science of the stars and the other is a science for the stars

  7. #257
    FORT Fogey Lil Bit's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    My mother in law strikes again. A week or so ago she called me and said she was going to be in town because one of the other great grandkids was having a birthday party. She wanted to know if it was our weekend with Alexis, my granddaughter, so she could see her. I told her yes it was. That we were going to Des Moines to visit our daughter on Thursday and Friday, taking Alexis with, and coming home on Saturday morning so our son could have his usual weekend with his daughter. She said, great... she'd see us Saturday.
    This morning we got home from Des Moines at around 9 a.m. It's a 5 hour drive with a short breakfast stop, so you know what time we had to get up to get going. Walked in the house and noticed that she'd been there. (she left a couple of pics of hubbys sister and her family) I'm figuring that she'll be back later, after the party, that btw... we didn't get invited to. But that's a whole other story. So, I start throwing together some food, thinking that she'll be at our house for supper. My father in law calls this afternoon and informs us that we are once again in the dog house. We weren't home when she got here and we knew she was coming and now she is "never going to visit us again!!" He got himself in trouble for telling her to calm down and she hung up on him. I told him that he could tell her that she is welcome at our house whenever she chooses to come over, but that we had done NOTHING wrong and I am not going to call and apologize and beg for forgiveness. If she chooses to never visit us again, I guess that's her right, but I'm done with the whole mess. I'm actually hoping that she keeps her promise this time and stays away. After 30 years of bending over backwards to try to please this woman, I've had enough.

  8. #258
    Premium Member burntbrat's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    Darn, Lil Bit, it sounds like you need to change your locks. You were home at 9 a.m. and that wasn't good enough? You are totally in the right on this one. Don't call and apologize.

    It's really funny that this thread was bumped tonight, because my in-laws are back in town for the week! Yay! They got here right before dinner. The last few visits have been really pleasant so I don't have much to complain about. They just crack me up with their ways. We built an extra room last year for guests. Our kids are spaced so far apart and they are girl-boy-girl so they can't share rooms (well, I guess they could but we decided peace at home was more important than ivy league colleges so there you go). I finally got around to furnishing the room with a dresser and nightstand and my mother-in-law commented that it was so great that we got THEM furniture. My oldest piped up that it was for her uncle, actually, who will be moving in with us next month to be a nanny for the summer and then staying with us for however long I want him to stay. The in-laws knew he would be here for the summer but they were not aware that he would be staying longer. So they asked my husband where they would sleep for future visits and he said they would be staying in the baby's room, sharing her toddler bed. We actually have a plan to move my oldest in to the toddler's room and get her a queen size bed and let the toddler have her twin bed and room next year. The toddler's room has a phone jack and cable outlet already, so it makes more sense to let the oldest have that room since she has earned the right to have more grown-up stuff. I thought it was really funny to watch them squirm though. And my husband never let them in on the plan. I guess we both feel that they feel way too entitled at our house. I was actually kind of afraid that they would expect me to kick my baby brother out of his room when they come to visit and that we would come to blows. But my husband feels the same way that I do and it's really refreshing to be on a team!
    One of these days I'll stop being sensitive. Until then, I'll continue to be devastated on a daily basis. Life breaks my heart.

  9. #259
    In My Nest doxie's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    Quote Originally Posted by burntbrat;2951079;
    Darn, Lil Bit, it sounds like you need to change your locks. You were home at 9 a.m. and that wasn't good enough? You are totally in the right on this one. Don't call and apologize
    I agree! The first thing I thought when I read your post was "HOW did that woman get into Lil Bit's house?".

    I have to admit that this thread is scaring the crap out of me. Mr. Doxie and I lived together for six years and then got married this past December. I've met his family (who live 3,000 miles away) and he has spent a lot of time with my parents who live nearby and absolutely adore him. However, our families have never met each other and the time has come for that to happen. His parents and brother and SIL are spending several days with us next week (parents at a hotel, brother/SIL with us) and we are going to have a scary "Meet The Parents" weekend. I've already been advised on another thread to have lots of alcohol on hand I hope that I don't have too much to "rant" about when this is over.
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  10. #260
    Premium Member burntbrat's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    In my experience, doxie, the family meeting family thing is never too bad. They don't see each other all the time and who knows when you'll get together again? Just make it a big, fun party. My mother gets along great with my mother-in-law, but she only sees her once every three or four years. Don't sweat it too much. My momma does love it when I call to complain about my mother-in-law, though. I think it makes her feel wanted.
    One of these days I'll stop being sensitive. Until then, I'll continue to be devastated on a daily basis. Life breaks my heart.

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