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I'm sorry you are going through this. If its any consolation, people do overcome their upbringing. My husband did and so did one of his sisters.
I hope things get better for you, but there is no law in the world that says you have to stay in a situation that you are not happy in. Not suggesting you leave. But just saying you do have options. Good luck.
Mistify18- hang in there.
MRD - I know, they should respect who their child married, unfortunatly they don't and it is too much of a fight to make them. I just keep my head down, mutter under my breath and grind my teeth - except when I really screw up...
like tonight... hubby was giving me the lastest gossip on his nut ball sister, I said somthing snarky and lo and behold the ding dong (hubby) had his cell phone on and connected to said nut ball. It was an accident, but she heard everything..... ooooppppss. yeah she's ticked.
The good thing is maybe she will be too mad to bring her brood over this weekend. The bad thing is I have to hang with all of them tomorrow...lightning is quicker and gosh darn it, it has to be less painfull!
Right now I'm getting along better with my in laws then I am my family. My in laws still wear on my nerves though.
I just want to tell everyone something very important. Xanex is your friend. Your in laws will still be insane but you won't care.
Sinkertink how embaressing. I think I'd have to take the phone and beat my husband with it.Its situations like that when I get so uncomfortably embaressed. I would absolutly dread having to see her tomorrow.
I told him if he ever EVER did something like that again accident or no, I would shove the phone, my foot and what ever else I could get my hands on - up/down the orfice of his choice....sidewaysOriginally Posted by CantGetNuf;2686488;
Right now I'm getting along better with my in laws then I am my family. My in laws still wear on my nerves though.
I just want to tell everyone something very important. Xanex is your friend. Your in laws will still be insane but you won't care.
Sinkertink how embaressing. I think I'd have to take the phone and beat my husband with it.
That reminds me of a time when my (now recently ex) sister in law sent a snarky email to me but thought she was writing to my brother. It was obvious with what she wrote that she didn't mean to send it to me. My brother stepped in pretty quickly. I didn't care - I think I was asking them to pitch in money for something and knowing my brother maybe was a little too "pushy" with him or something. It was awkward but I got over it.
Truer words were never spoken.Right now I'm getting along better with my in laws then I am my family. My in laws still wear on my nerves though.
I just want to tell everyone something very important. Xanex is your friend. Your in laws will still be insane but you won't care.Sinkertink how embaressing. I think I'd have to take the phone and beat my husband with it.
I wish a happy and stressfree day to all of you that have to spend it with family that aren't always easy. Maybe this will be the year, they behave. (there is ALWAYS hope.)
Ok I have withheld "ranting" about my in laws because they're basically good people. Compared to the stories others have shared mine are angels. But they do have their quirks that make me want to be a real smart ass to them. But instead I just shovel more food in my mouth and keep smiling. I think because my husband and I were so young when we got married and started having kids that they think we still, after 18yrs, need constant advice. And they seem to rewrite history.
MIL, "How are the kids doing in school?"
Me, "Well oldest son got a few bad grades on this report card."
MIL, "My kids knew better then to bring home bad grades. I stayed on top of them until their grades were better. They were on restriction in their room with no entertainment. I did everything right until they improved their grades."
Me, *Shoveling a big bite of food into my mouth to keep from saying, "Is that right? Is that why your son was 16 in the 8th grade when he dropped out of school?"
Grandmother in law is almost the worst offender. To hear her talk about how she raised her kids she was the best mother in the world. I have to take a big bite of chewy ham to keep from pointing out that she ended up putting her kids in an orphanage where the eldest son ran away and lied about his age to join the army, the youngest son ran away and wasn't seen for a couple of years, and the girls still, 40something yrs later, talk about how much they hated it there.
A couple of years ago my brother in law asked me to buy our mother in law a DVD player since she didn't have one. I had something else in mind to buy her but I figured she must want a DVD player since BIL asked me to get her one. Christmas day comes and she opens her present from me and says, "I don't know why you bought me this. I don't watch a lot of movies and I don't even own a DVD." Then she opened the gift from my BIL and it was a Garfield DVD. OMG you would have thought he went all out for her. The rest of the day all I heard was how much she couldn't wait to watch the movie because she just loves Garfield and how great it was that BIL bought it for her and it was just the best present. Totally forgetting that without my (more expensive) present her DVD wouldn't have been worth anything to her.
That is my biggest peeve about my in laws. The way they treat my husband. They're not mean to him but they constantly brag to him about how great his brother and cousins are.
According to them his brother is the greatest chef in the world even though he only does it as a hobby. I on the other hand am told that I "don't need to bring anything" to holiday meals. Nevermind that I have 15yrs experience as a cook. One year they finally relented and told me to bring brownies. I brought three different types of brownies.
When cooking for the holidays I never skimp and always buy the better quality ingredients. Well one year I was so pissed off when once again they told me to bring brownies. I used all old ingredients that had been in my freezer from the year before. Chocolate chips, pecans, and flour. Do you know they actually bragged that year about how great my brownies were. They ate the whole freakin batch. Thats when I realised its not my cooking its their palates.
Ok I've ranted enough. I think I'm now ready to go spend the day with them.
My best advice to everybody concerning their inlaws is a saying that I learned many, many years ago. I only wish I knew to whom it should be attributed:
When among apes, one must play an ape
If you prefer, here is Spock's restatement (from Mirror, Mirror):
"It was easier for you as civilized people to behave as barbarians than it was for them as barbarians to behave as civilized people."
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