Rant about your In-Laws

[Rattus]

This may sound harsh, but I am quite happy that both my MIL and Mr. Rattus' MIL have passed away. Mr. Rattus was lucky in that he never met his MIL (I'd broken contact with her ten years before I met the Mr.), but I did have the misfortune to trying to relate to my MIL. Mr. Rattus is the youngest of four sons, and while I am sure there is a woman on the planet who MIL would have been happy about his marrying (his former girlfriend, for example ), it wasn't me. Fortunately, when she wasn't on one of her annual two-month-long visits, she lived out west, but there were the twice weekly letters about "I met Bob's new girlfriend - oh, she's just lovely", and "Bill's wife is such a delightful woman", et al. Included in these semi-veiled hints as to what a bitch her baby married was the extolling of the virtues of the new wife of the second youngest son "oh, Lenore is such a pleasure - your brother is such a lucky man to have such a wonderful wife". So the year after they (and we) got married, MIL came for her yearly visit, but decided to stay with BIL instead of Mr. Rattus (wonder why?) for the two months. BIL and SIL had just had a baby (the reason they married in the first place) and the baby was colicy, so SIL was getting no sleep at all. So, new marriage, new constantly crying baby, new MIL visiting for two months who absolutely will not help out - not with the baby, not with the housework, not with anything. For some odd reason, SIL got cranky. Really, really cranky. MIL, the insensitive old sack of dirt, could not possibly understand the reasoning behind this and took great offense. As a consequence, Lenore is no longer #1 DIL, I am. Having lived with miserable, self-pitying, manipulative lunatics my entire life, I'm not falling for this crap. So, for the following decade, Mr. Rattus and the BIL did their annual visit with mom at her house, 2,000 kilometres away.

And I would like to point out that I am not entirely heartless. BIL (who had long since divorced SIL), had his mom move across country to live with him. Selfish p***k that he is, he determined after a month or two that an old lady living with him was just cramping his style, so he was looking to put her into a home in the city closest to his small town, where she knew absolutely no one. I jumped on it, got in touch with social services, declared it an emergency situation and managed to get her an apartment at an independent senior's building just up the road from us, where Mr. Rattus could visit her several times a week (and spend alllllll day Saturday, every Saturday, with her). So I'm not a complete bitch, since not only was there nothing in it for me, the whole situation really cramped my style. No spending a pleasurable rambling Saturday with my sweetie, more time alone than I really want (although I do love solitude), and no vacations for ten years because there was no one take care of her.

Anyway, no more MILs to deal with, my DIL passed away long before I ever met Mr. Rattus and my calling my dad out a few years on being a jerk has assured me that we will not have to deal with him again. So, yay!

[MRD]

WHile I do miss my parents. I have to say that life without either set of parents has been really nice for me and Mr. Rosie. I know that sounds harsh, but its nice not to have to determine with who we shall spend the holidays.

[just1paul]

It doesn't sound harsh - that is reality

[MRD]

It doesn't sound harsh - that is reality

And I don't have anyone telling me what to do anymore which used to get old. Wait, my daughter tries that, but I tune her out.


I'd give anything to have my parents around again. But honestly, my own life has been both different and better and so has my husbands. We would not have moved out of state had any of the parents been alive. It's just weird to say that we like it that its just us now. Partly because both sets of parents were in ill health and the last years were a struggle because of that. Not that I minded taking care of my parents, but its not easy to take care of grumpy, sick people, no matter how much you love them. I know I am not explaining this well. But I guess to say that if any good things have come out of them being gone, its that we feel more free to live our own lives and we don't have to constantly worry how its going to affect everyone else.
And my own mother could be very controlling, so I don't have that hanging over me anymore. There are only 2 other people that my decisions affect and those 2 are so much easier to please than the parents or inlaws were.

[famita]

Gut, I don't have in-laws any more either, but I like to come here and count my blessings. In retrospect, mine weren't soooooo bad. My own mother gives me more grief than any mother in law could, and yet, she's not so bad any more.

[barefootdyke]

Careful, burntbrat. You never know if your inlaws could be lurking around FORT.

there's lots i really want to rant about, but this is exactly why i've kept my mouth shut. i'll just say that it's hard being having three beautiful little granddaughters live a mile from my home and not being able to see them because their mother hates me.

[just1paul]

myrosiedog- you explained it very well.

[veejer]

MIL wants to take a family picture at Thanksgiving as the kids are rarely home from college at the same time. FIL never wants his picture taken. SIL wants to have a color scheme for clothes.

Our daughter wants to videotape the whole production so she can laugh at it later. I have no idea where she gets her sense of humor.

[just1paul]

I agree with MIL, and I feel for FIL, I think SIL is crazy and i love daughters idea.

[Gutmutter]

I'm on the same page with you, gabriel. Our family has a group picture taken every TG and sometimes one family will color code, but never everyone (although they all get the same Old Navy shirt in a different color each July 4). A video of it all would be a scream down the road.