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Thread: Rant about your In-Laws

  1. #131
    FORT Fogey snickertink's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    I just know if I said "me too" I would get struck by lightening. it has been 15 minutes since I posted and now I am just sick with guilt for even writing anything. I guess I am just posting a disclaimer, I am just ranting. I am sure there are several people who think "ma" is a perfectly wonderful woman. She really is a good mother to her adult, self-sufficiant, in some cases married w/children, working ADULT children with their own lives...

  2. #132
    Resident curmudgeon Newfherder's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    Not all mothers-in-law are like that--when I was married, my wife had a great mother-in-law On the other hand, my mother-in-law could be . . . difficult.

    Actually, that's not just my opinion. When we found out that my mother was dying of cancer, my then-wife said, "The wrong mother is dying."
    "The road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair, even though they both lead to the same destination."
    --Marion Zimmer Bradley

  3. #133
    MRD
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    snickertink,

    Don't feel guilty. We fall in love with who we fall in love with and unfortunately they sometimes come with family we have a hard time dealing with. I spent years bending over backwards to please my inlaws and finally realized that NOTHING I did would make a difference so I stopped trying to please them. and at least I was happier.

    This is a great place to come and let off steam and you know they can't ever find out about it. So rant away and don't let guilt in the door.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  4. #134
    Me and my shadow Gutmutter's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    I don't know why I love to come here so much - I don't have in-laws. Just counting my blessings, I guess.
    Count your blessings!

  5. #135
    Winter get away catmom3's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    snickertink, are you sure we don't have the same MIL?

    My Step-Daughter's Hubby says I'm his favorite MIL. He has 2 if you count Hubby's ex-wife.
    Finally, after 22 years I got my honeymoon. Niagara Falls in February. Whats next the beach in December?

  6. #136
    FORT Fogey snickertink's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    Thansk MRD, I appreciate that. I am just venting and it has gotten better over the years. The bright side is that she has given me a lot of examples of how not to be to my own future DIL/SO (Son is only 17 so hopefully I have a while yet)

    catmom3 - scary thought that there could be more than one of her running around out there in world isn't it?

  7. #137
    Rock Stars! bbnbama's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    Quote Originally Posted by Newfherder;2675569;
    Not all mothers-in-law are like that--when I was married, my wife had a great mother-in-law On the other hand, my mother-in-law could be . . . difficult.

    Actually, that's not just my opinion. When we found out that my mother was dying of cancer, my then-wife said, "The wrong mother is dying."
    WOW! That really does say alot, doesn't it?

    My ex MIL was very overprotective of her son and he tried to pull away but she was always notorious for pulling the guilt trip and/or crying to him about her not being able to see him, etc. His brother is 10 years older so he didn't catch all that crap but my ex did. She wasn't outright hateful to me but I hated how I was sometimes put in the position of making my ex choose between me and her.

    She cries alot...and I mean alot....my son, when he was maybe 10 or 11 at the time, had been over to their house for one of the holidays and when he came home he asked me why did grandmother cry all the time. I told him that as long as I had known his daddy that grandmother had always been like that and that's just the way she is. I told him to just give her a extra hug before he left so that she could feel a little better!

    Now that we are divorced (and he's came out of the closet)...I'm sure she thinks I wasn't so bad after all!
    Reality is the beginning...not the end....Wallace Stevens

  8. #138
    MRD
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    My MIL was the most depressing person you would ever meet. And all her conversations centered around who was sick and who died. She never smiled, never really took an interest in my daughter (her granddaughter) and we only heard from her when she needed something.

    The kicker was after the 2004 hurricanes when she had to come stay with us (she lived in a trailer in a mandatory evacuation zone) and I bent over backwards to make her stay comfortable, even when she made it a chore for me she told me that I had NEVER made her feel welcome in my home. I was walking out of the room when she said this. I turned on my heel and 17 years of bottled up frustration and anger came spewing out and I said: "well in 17 years, you've never made me feel welcome in your family, no matter how hard I've tried". The next day she called a realtor, listed her home and within 2 days had sold it and in 2 weeks had moved to TN with my husbands brother who now doesn't speak to us because we refused to take her back a year later when he had spent all her money and she was being a witch to live with. We have absolutely no contact now with any of my husbands family and believe it or not, I think he's happier about it than I am. His parents have both passed on now, but his siblings are really pieces of work in themselves. I can't believe he came out of that family as he is NOTHING like them at all.

    Had I known I could have gotten rid of her so easily, I'd have spoken up way before 17 years had passed.
    My husband and my parents got along great. I think for the first time in his life was he treated kindly and with love and respect. Sure, they bugged him from time to time, but he always got along well with them and they treated him like a full fledged member of the family. I'll never forget the first Christmas we were together and my parents had bought him several nice gifts and he told them that up until that point, he had never had a stocking nor had he received more than one gift on Christmas morning from his own parents. He was so overwhelmed by how well they treated him and the little things they did for him, that my mom really went out of her way to do things for him after that and he always appreciated it so much.
    I've only seen my husband cry a few times and one of them was when my mother died. He never cried when his parents passed away. Sure he was sad, but I don't think it affected him the same way it did when my mother died.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  9. #139
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    Families - sheesh. Someday I'll put my story in here.
    - The Dean Martin Show -

    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

  10. #140
    MRD
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    Re: Rant about your In-Laws

    Quote Originally Posted by gabriel;2676573;
    Families - sheesh. Someday I'll put my story in here.
    If it wasn't for families, the psycho therapists would be out of business.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

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