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Thread: Lies our parents told us (for our own safety)

  1. #21
    Smiling again... Zhora's Avatar
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    Well, that lie worked out well then, eh Paulie? Oh my god.
    Iím haunted a little this evening by feelings that have no vocabulary and events that should be explained in dimensions of lint rather than words.
    -Richard Brautigan

  2. #22
    Sexy evil genius Paulie's Avatar
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    Yeah, that was a brilliant strategy on Dad's part.

    I still laugh at the notion that I could ward off the onset of lockjaw by continually opening and closing my mouth.
    When you're ten years old and a car drives by and splashes a puddle of water all over you, it's hard to decide if you should go to school like that or try to go home and change and probably be late. So while he was trying to decide, I drove by and splashed him again. - Jack Handey

    Read Paulie's Precaps for Survivor:Vanuatu: 1-2-3-4-5

  3. #23
    The race is back! John's Avatar
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    Paulie, that's hilarious!

  4. #24
    Boomer Sooner SCRUMPOT's Avatar
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    My mother must have had a bad experience with streets when she was a kid, because she always told me:

    Never sit on the curb. A car could come by and run over your legs.

    Never run while crossing the street. You could fall down and get run over by a car.

    Whatever!
    :rolleyes:

  5. #25
    ~Man of your Desire~ ULFMaNN's Avatar
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    :P

    Well, My parents said that bills stink.....They were right.
    Peace

  6. #26
    FORT Newbie
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    My father told me two things that even most children would questions, but I must have been gullible even at that age.

    1. Money grows on trees. Evidence? We took walks in the park and he'd run ahead of us and dump tons of change on the ground. Later, when we'd reach that point, he'd exclaim, "Look! A money tree--whoever finds one gets to keep all the money."

    2. He could read my mind. Of course, believing your parent can read your mind interferes greatly with any attempts to lie. He had evidence for this one, too. He asked me to think of something in my head. Then he asked me, "Did you think of a pink elephant?" "No!" I answered, "I thought of [choose anything.]" And he said, "Yes you did think of [that]. But you also thought of pink elephants, only it went through your head so quickly that you didn't even realize it. But I did and I'll always know everything you're thinking. So, just keep that in mind next time you're trying to tell a lie."

    For the greater part of my childhood, I told on myself for practically everything. Talk about being a goodie two shoes!

  7. #27
    ~Man of your Desire~ ULFMaNN's Avatar
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    lol.He threw money on the ground????
    Peace

  8. #28
    FORT Fogey joeguy's Avatar
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    I won't hit you if you tell the truth, I did once, cause I still ended up getting hit. a no win situation.

  9. #29
    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
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    , now I wonder what Ili's parents told him

    Yeah, I got the "You won't get in trouble if you tell the truth" one once.
    Bah....
    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

  10. #30
    muddy amna's Avatar
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    "If you swallow orange seeds , an orange tree will grow in your tummy & sprout out of your mouth!"

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