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Thread: Worst case scenario

  1. #11
    FORT Fanatic
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    John, are the fans supposed to blow the aliens away? Are they lighter than a feather or something?

  2. #12
    Evil Slash Crazy Miss Filangi's Avatar
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    4. As a last resort, go for the EBE's eyes - you will not know what its other more sensitive areas are.
    ------------------------------------

    So there you go. And hey, everyone. Let's be careful out there.


    And Paulie, I'd like to personally thank you for making me laugh out loud so hard that 3 other people in the office asked, "WHAT?"
    If you go through a lot of hammers each month, I don't think it necessarily means you're a hard worker.
    It may just mean that you have a lot to learn about proper hammer maintenance.


  3. #13
    ~Man of your Desire~ ULFMaNN's Avatar
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    Yes, actually aliens only weight a mere .01 LBS!
    Peace

  4. #14
    Sexy evil genius Paulie's Avatar
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    Yup, Z, the calendar is based on your book.

    And you're welcome, Miss F. Happy to oblige.
    When you're ten years old and a car drives by and splashes a puddle of water all over you, it's hard to decide if you should go to school like that or try to go home and change and probably be late. So while he was trying to decide, I drove by and splashed him again. - Jack Handey

    Read Paulie's Precaps for Survivor:Vanuatu: 1-2-3-4-5

  5. #15
    JR.
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    I don't know about this, I've heard aliens know karate.

  6. #16
    Smiling again... Zhora's Avatar
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    Karate chopping aliens! Maybe John Travolta can integrate that idea into Battlefield Earth part 2.
    Im haunted a little this evening by feelings that have no vocabulary and events that should be explained in dimensions of lint rather than words.
    -Richard Brautigan

  7. #17
    Sexy evil genius Paulie's Avatar
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    Here's a modified version of that Weekly World News article I told you about. Read it carefully. It could turn out to be quite useful.

    How To Tell If Your Neighbor Is An Alien
    When you're ten years old and a car drives by and splashes a puddle of water all over you, it's hard to decide if you should go to school like that or try to go home and change and probably be late. So while he was trying to decide, I drove by and splashed him again. - Jack Handey

    Read Paulie's Precaps for Survivor:Vanuatu: 1-2-3-4-5

  8. #18
    Sexy evil genius Paulie's Avatar
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    And here are some more broad tips from the Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook on how to avoid being targeted for an abduction in the first place. Obviously, you don't need to worry about buying duct tape at this point.
    When you're ten years old and a car drives by and splashes a puddle of water all over you, it's hard to decide if you should go to school like that or try to go home and change and probably be late. So while he was trying to decide, I drove by and splashed him again. - Jack Handey

    Read Paulie's Precaps for Survivor:Vanuatu: 1-2-3-4-5

  9. #19
    The race is back! John's Avatar
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    check. check. check. Oh my god, that explains the rash when I want microwaved popcorn. Damn, I knew it, I'm an alien!

  10. #20
    The race is back! John's Avatar
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    Oh my, Paulie. That's hilarious!

    You might even consider getting a small tattoo on your lower back that reads "nothing to see here." Others have taped themselves shut each night with duct tape. This does not work, and is also quite painful.

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