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Thread: FORT Koffee Klatch

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    Premium Member burntbrat's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I rarely feel guilty either. But I just thought it was because I'm permanently stuck in my moody teenager stage. I blame everything on my mother. Works for me!
    One of these days I'll stop being sensitive. Until then, I'll continue to be devastated on a daily basis. Life breaks my heart.

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    MRD
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by burntbrat;3090254;
    I rarely feel guilty either. But I just thought it was because I'm permanently stuck in my moody teenager stage. I blame everything on my mother. Works for me!
    I like it!

    I overheard my teenager telling her dad that she acts older than I do sometimes! I took it as a compliment.

    She tries to guilt me, but I think that after my mother died, I became immune to most guilt. Maybe I had a "guilt vaccine" or something.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

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    Best Buddies Gutmutter's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    My favorite comedienne for stress relief - Loretta LaRoche - does a bit on feeling embarassed (a form of guilt). She asks herself, "Is that person on my committee?" (someone whose oppinion controls me). If they're not on my committee, it doesn't matter what I do (make a fool of yourself). Ever since I saw that bit about 10 years ago, it has become a staple of my inner dialogue. Is s/he on my committee? Usually the answer is "no".
    Count your blessings!

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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I like that too Gutmutter.

    Another negative emotion I avoid: Angst. (in me and especially in other people)

    I am currently reading Eat Pray Love which everyone I know has been talking about. It's ok, but the woman is so angst ridden that I'm not enjoying the book all that much.

    And I'm tired of all the people I know that are martyrs. They complain and complain but then never do anything to improve their situation. (they just like to complain about it so eveyrone will know just how hard they have it-thus the martyr syndrome) I have one friend in particular (that I don't see now that we've moved to another state) that I used to call St. Angie of Arcadia because she was the BIGGEST martyr I had ever met.

    My longstanding comment has always been: if you are going to complain, then you must have first at least tried to do something about it. (like both my husband and daughter: "I have a headache, my head hurts so bad". Me: "did you take tylenol?" them: "No", Me: "then don't complain unless you've taken something and it didn't work")

    My other longstanding comment on complaining (and this worked really well when I was PTO president) was don't come to me with just a complaint. At least try to find some sort of solution to offer with the complaint because your complaining just throws the problem on me and makes extra work on me. So if you're complaint is that the teachers didn't return their "wish lists" to us, then don't complain that they didn't do it, but think of a way to visit each teacher or email each teacher to just get a couple items for their classroom wish list.
    When I broke bad on the PTO about the complaining and finding solutions, it drastically cut down on the complaining let me tell you and people started coming up with some really creative ideas, so it worked well. Committees are the worst for complaining, at least in my experience.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    MRD - It sounds like you've been living at my house! That's exactly the response I give my son when he has a headache. Don't complain to me if you haven't done anything to try to take care of the problem.

    And having solutions or volunteering to help find a solution is what got me involved in Scouting 10+ years ago. I complained and the person I complained to turned it around and asked me to help work on it. Since I HATE when people complain but then don't want to help be a part of the solution, I got roped in. I've never regretted it. I've had a blast with Scouting. I've met some wonderful people that I know I'll be friends with forever.

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    Resident curmudgeon Newfherder's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I once worked with a guy who was complaining about the lack of youth activities at his church, and that "somebody ought to do something!" I looked at him and said, "You're somebody." That was NOT what he wanted to hear
    "The road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair, even though they both lead to the same destination."
    --Marion Zimmer Bradley

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    Got wings 9/19/2012 buglover's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I love how people can be critical of things but aren't willing to step up and do anything about it! Argghhhh..... we have many people who complain about getting their rent in on time because they don't have enough money yet they come home daily with an 18 pack of beer!
    Yup, with donuts!!

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    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    We all have our priorities, don't we? You know how we were talking about the people who can't afford steak? Maybe that's just not on their list of priorities. I've always been amazed by that...but cigarettes, beer, soft drinks, chewing tobacco are. We just don't know what goes on behind closed doors. I've found myself in the midst of people's day-to-day dramas, and you'd be surprised at what you'll find upon which they place value. Personally, I'd choose differently, but I'm not them.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I'm like you shay, I will ensure there is food, bills are paid, etc. before I indulge in anything that isn't necessary. As a young lady I wasn't as responsible though. I did tend to go out a lot and never have my portion of the rent until way after the due date.
    Yup, with donuts!!

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    MRD
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I agree with you there about priorities. I have friends that continually spend tons of money and then complain because they don't have money to pay their bills or buy a house or new car or get the old car fixed and then turn around and show off the new shoes they just bought and always seem to have such nice manicures and pedicures.

    When our money situation tightened up a couple years ago, the manicures and pedicures were the FIRST thing to go. Now thanks to Prhoshay and the Ped egg, I can do that at home now.


    And I used to be like that too, but I like to think that as I've gotten older, gotten married, had a child, etc., that I finally learned.
    Quite honestly, other than Goodwill, I haven't bought any new clothes in almost a year and I haven't bought much at Goodwill. New clothes are just not a priority right now. As gas and grocery prices go up, our first priorities are to maintain a roof, food, bills paid. If there is anything leftover, I tend to want to hoard it and not spend it. But damn if the things we already own don't know when we have a bit extra, so they can break and we can spend money fixing all that stuff.
    We had to buy a new refrigerator last summer. Believe me, I would have rather had a cute new pair of shoes, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

    And Scoutmom, your situation with Scouts is how I got roped into doing PTO. I asked if there was a PTO in my daughters new school and there wasn't, so guess who ended up getting it organized and was elected President? Yep, me. Now, I'm very careful what I suggest or complain about.

    But I hate that too that people continually complain but never offer up a solution or attempt to try to do anything about it themselves.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

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