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Thread: FORT Koffee Klatch

  1. #81
    Premium Member dagwood's Avatar
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    Too true, lildago. Kids live in the world of "it will never happen to me". Most of us are just plain lucky that it didn't.
    He who laughs last thinks slowest

    #oldmanbeatdown - Donny BB16

  2. #82
    FORT Fogey Muduh's Avatar
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    I agree that many people, not only kids, feel that bad things happen to others and they are home free.

    I think I may have told you all about my daughter in law's mother having cancer. She chain smoked for years and we all thought that was probably the reason for her cancer. She and her two daughters all stopped smoking but then the doctor told her that her particular cancer was not caused by smoking. They all three started again, immediately.

    Intelligent bunch, huh?

  3. #83
    Premium Member dagwood's Avatar
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    I am sitting here speechless. They just picked it back up? Scary.
    He who laughs last thinks slowest

    #oldmanbeatdown - Donny BB16

  4. #84
    FORT Fogey Muduh's Avatar
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    And the mother is really failing in a hurry now, but the girls are puffing away.

  5. #85
    Premium Member dagwood's Avatar
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    Unbelievable
    He who laughs last thinks slowest

    #oldmanbeatdown - Donny BB16

  6. #86
    Leo
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    My favorite bottle rocket story comes from a coworker of my parents. One fine day he decided to celebrate Christmas early. He takes a bottle rocket, and decides to light it... from his bare hands. Did I mention that he was drunk at the time?

    At least the lucky fellow didn't hurt himself.

  7. #87
    Rock Stars! bbnbama's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Muduh View Post
    I had some chili last night. Wish I didn't feel like it's still in there somewhere.

    I was going to tell a firecracker story and decided I'd better move it over here. Hope no one minds.

    When I was in high school a girl I knew, who went to another school, was in a car at a drive in restaurant. A boy she knew came over and threw a firecracker in her window. It landed in her lap and just blew away the fleshy part of the insides of her thighs. She was a senior, a majorette, and played on the basketball team. She missed all of those and spent half her senior year in the hospital and at home recuperating. I have been scared to death of fireworks since then.
    ....Don't you know that boy had to live with that forever? Did he get any kind of punishment (besides mental torture of his own?)
    Reality is the beginning...not the end....Wallace Stevens

  8. #88
    FORT Fogey
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    Speaking of Chickens:
    Quote Originally Posted by roseskid View Post
    Speaking of chickens . . . apparently I picked some old persnickity women, who had no interest in laying eggs. Eventually I got about six eggs, and after expenses, I figured those six eggs cost me about $60. A short time later I ate the chickens.
    I laughed out loud when I read that! Hell, if I'd gone through all that work I'd have eaten them alive!!! Hang up, hang up -- don't call the SPCA, I'm just kidding.

    Speaking of Dollar Stores:
    I'm reminded of the time my little sister and I were locked in about 10 minutes' worth of utterly frustrating miscommunication. She was telling me that I should go to a particular store to get a really good deal on some party-themed paper goods. I had just moved back east (after being away for 15 years) so I had no clue of what stores around here were any good for bargain-hunting.

    She kept telling me to go to "Jaw Blots." Over and over again she kept repeating it: "Pom, go to Jaw Blots. You'll get the best deal at Jaw Blots. I guarantee you, the cheapest price you'll find will be at Jaw Blots. I don't shop anywhere else except at Jaw Blots. If you wait a minute I will look in my drawer 'cause I'm sure I even have some coupons for Jaw Blots."

    Over and over she kept saying that annoying phrase, "Jaw Blots, Jaw Blots, Jaw Blots."

    I had never heard of that store and I couldn't -- for the life of me -- imagine why in the hell anyone would ever name a store Jaw Blots and I kept saying to her, over and over, "I never heard of that store and it's the dumbest name I ever heard. Just for that, I'm not going there."

    After almost twenty minutes she explained that the store's really called JOB LOTS.

    What a dope I was!!! But to me that store will always be Jaw Blots, and the others will always be Be Glots and Awe Dlots.

    Speaking of Target v. Walmart:
    I recently bought a coffee maker -- Read All About My Over-Priced Coffee Maker HERE. I paid $53 for it at Target and then I saw it on a Walmart shelf -- the next day -- for $38.97.

  9. #89
    clap clap clap sleepysluggo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by angelic_one2002 View Post
    We have a brand new Target store opening up this month about 20 miles from here. Can't wait!
    I'm really spoiled- I live within walking distance of a Target.

    People are already setting off illegal fireworks outside.

  10. #90
    RENThead JLuvs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sleepysluggo View Post
    People are already setting off illegal fireworks outside.
    We have been having that for about a week here already. I actually got sedatives for my dog this year and they seem to be doing the trick.
    Whenever you see darkness, there is extraordinary opportunity for the light to burn brighter.
    -Bono

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