FORT Koffee Klatch

[Rattus]

There was just something about having our own time at home, alone, that seemed invaluable.

Yes, indeedy. The first time Mr. Rattus went off somewhere without me was a convention, somewhere around our tenth year together. My initial response was snivel, snivel, boo hoo, I'm going to miss you so much. Well, yes, I did miss him, but also enjoyed time to myself. The next time he went off was on his first yearly week-long visit to his mother out west. This time brought about an "I'll miss you, have a good time, see you in a week". Subsequent to that, I ended up taking a week of my vacation at the same time so I could spend an entire week every year in solitude. Oh, glorious, glorious days. Sadly, his mother moved here (sadly in more ways than one), so the week long marital vacations came to an end. Sigh. I love him deeply, I enjoy spending time with him, but sometimes I just want to be alone for a protracted period of time.

I've offered many a time to go on a vacation by myself so he could have the house to himself for a week, but for some reason he doesn't want me to go. Fine by me - I don't really want to take a bus to, say, Nova Scotia by myself, but I'm a little surprised that he wouldn't want me out of his life for at least a brief period, unlike the rest of humanity.

[MRD]

I enjoy my solitude and am very lucky to have had my own alone time throughout my marriage, however, I feel like I have only seen my husband about 10 days out of the last 60 and I really hate that. We enjoy each others company and we enjoy our own time, but these long stretches are hard on all of us. However, the bedroom this last time slowly began to be ALL mine. I have had to move books and shoes and MY stuff from his side of the room.

I like having him home too, but like shay, after a few days, it's almost like: can't you go somewhere, anywhere?

As my mother used to say: "I married for better or worse, but not for lunch!"

I have to say I much prefer his old schedule of 8-5, gone during the day, home at night and on weekends.

[chrelsey]

Interesting discussion on "alone time." Mr. C and I both work from home, and therefore we are pretty much together 24/7. We've always joked and said it's a good thing we like each other, or else we probably would have killed each other by now! I've always liked my alone time, but when he went on a rare business trip about a month ago for about three days, I was REALLY lonely! I guess that's because we're always together - when we're apart everything just feels wrong. For me, I guess my alone time is during the day when he's in his office at one end of the hall and I'm in my office at the other end! I know . . . we're pathetic!

[MamaC]

Hubby is coming home tomorrow night from a business trip. I had soooo many plans to really do a number on the house...spring cleaning, maybe getting to some flower beds. Stuff like that.

Well the first day, I drove him to the airport at 5 a.m. and after coming home and getting daughter up and out of the house for school, reading the paper and having my breakfast, all I did was some laundry and took a nap!

Second day, I watched my granddaughter for a couple of hours and deliberately did not start any projects.

Third day, I did a load of dishes in the dishwasher and my other daughter came up and dyed my hair.

Today I went grocery shopping and mopped the kitchen floor.

I pick him up at the airport at 6:30 Friday night and have some serious doubts that I am going to clean the entire kitchen, rearrange/straighten out the pantry and fridge; clean up the family room of toys left scattered about by the granddaughter and dog; change the sheets, clean up the guest room (again that granddaughter had a field day playing in!); and cleaning the three bathrooms!

I will have the laundry put away before I leave for the airport though.

He won't dare say it, but I know he will be thinking, "Just WTH did you do while I was gone???"

[Amy Lee]

Funny you should bring that up. I started making some space early today before work. I came home and got right back into it. I can now see under my bed again. However, even working part time fatigues me. ick!

[MRD]

chrelsey, I think that's why this has been so hard on me. I like being around my hubby most of the time and I hate havig him gone. But then again, if we were together 24/7 I think I would go crazy and we have spent a LOT of time together like that around Christmastime.
I do like my alone time as well. I just don't like him on the road traveling so much.

MamaC, Ha, I was going to do the same thing while Mr. Rosie was gone this time. I had HUGE plans to get the house all spruced up. Sadly, I didn't even get the laundry folded before he got home.

My parents worked together. Not from home. But my mom worked for my dad for about 20 years and then she retired. About a year later, my dad retired. After 6 months, my mom went back to work part time because he was driving her crazy!

[MRD]

I was invited to join a book club this week. The woman hosting is on the board at the museum. I went with the musuem director and she warned me ahead of time that this house was something else.

Well I can honestly say that I have never been in a house like this that I didn't first pay admission to get in. OMG! What a showplace.

It was so amazing that I couldn't concentrate on the book club discussion. I was flattered to be asked, but now I don't think I can continue as I just not in this league at all. It was very daunting.

What would you do? Should I continue to go and contribute what I can in the way of intelligent discussion (if I can get my jaw off the floor and quit being impressed by the grandness of the house), or should I send my regrets as I know I could never host at my house. Ever.

[just1paul]

I think I know what your answer to yourself is. I have been in a similar situation and just totally felt uncomfortable and out of my league, therefore I declined. While I am happy with my life and enjoy it, I personally still feel there are some class divisions in this country. A perfect example is my boss who along with his wife own a house in a fairly upscale suburb, he always wants to be one of the boys- it just doesn't work. Thankfully nothing has come up lately. I hope this post makes sense.

[Ana Bannana]

Hey folks - my son Joe, who is 18, is in the high school production of "Once Upon a Mattress". He is playing Sir Harry, and tonight is opening night. I received a text message from the director saying Joe's is doing a phenominal job, and he cannot wait for me to see the show. My question - what do you give a guy on opening night??? The parents of the girls present them with flowers, but what about the boys??? He knows I am so proud of him, but I really want to do something special. Any advice FORTers?

[Margaritaville]

I have to agree with Gabriel, it sounds like it would just be too uncomfortable/distracting to participate. I have also been in that situation, and have had times where I have continued to go and then regretted it, and times where I have declined. Much easier for me to just decline - the angst before each visit is just not worth it.