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Thread: FORT Koffee Klatch

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    Resident curmudgeon Newfherder's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I happen to LIKE kids. A little marinade, a little barbecue sauce . . .

    Mostly, I do not like to be around kids for an extended length of time, which is why I never wanted any. I get to play with my ex-wife's 5-y-o twins on a semi-regular basis, which is fun, but so is waving goodbye when they leave. When it comes to hellions at stores, I have an advantage--apparently, kids are intimidated by a scruffy, long-haired, bearded behemoth giving them a Mona look. On rare occasions, I've also been know to bellow, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" to catch their attention. (My bellow can be easily heard from a half-mile away, as some of my survey crews can attest.)
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    FORT Fogey Ellen's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    On several occasions, I've been able to halt some demon-spawn's behavior in a supermarket check-out line with what my husband calls "The Teacher Look." It cracks me up every time, and honestly, I don't know what The Teacher Look looks like, as I can't do it on purpose in order to see it in a mirror. But a kid will be yelling or grabbing stuff or whatever; I give him/her The Teacher Look. The little hellion suddenly gets really really quiet, and the parent looks at me really suspiciously (although gratefully would be, I think, more appropriate!), and I just shrug. Afterwards, though, the clerk usually thanks me, and we have a good laugh.
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    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I used to go to a really nice yoga class and I ended up switching to a different one because what started as a very relaxing experience turned into a freeforall of whining when some of the students started bringing their kids. The kids couldn't keep up with the class so the instructor would slow things down to accomodate them. One of the little girls had quite a bit of flatulence (and of course was on the mat next to me), and would fall asleep in class, too. Anyhow, I was thinking, "What the heck is this mom thinking bringing this little girl to class?"

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    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I do like kids, thus I tutor the little monsters 3X/week for about 2 hours each day. The other day, one of the teachers who works there (I can't imagine why you teach grade school all day, and then come there to deal with more of the same) asked me if I worked. I was about to let fly with a soft expletive to preface my answer, and I caught myself! I was not in the mood to hear, "Awwww....Miss Shay said a bad word! Awwww....!" I did say "b.s." (the initials only), one day, and I was asked what "b.s." meant; I said, "beauty shop!" They said, ""Oh!" I get a little frustrated with kids. They tend to get the impression that I like them. Little Chelsey told me, "I like you. You're nice." I told her, in my serious voice, with a straight face...."No I'm not, and you'd be smart to remember that." She and I have gone down this same "yellow brick road" before; why do we have to repeat it, ever so often? There is one kid there that I totally refuse to deal with, though. He's in the second grade, and they've got him thinking that he is in control. And He Can't Read. When they ask me to read with him, my answer has been, "Uh.....NO." We'll be revisiting that fact today! Eventually, my adults at the center will get it through their heads that I have no problem with the word, "NO".
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I do like kids and have worked with them for years. I love my classes at the museum. I had a small group of 7 to myself today and we had a ball for 2 hours!

    But my days of socializing with them are OVER!

    I want to say Carlin's 7 words you can't say on television without worrying about kids overhearing me! I'm already in trouble because several years ago one of my friends kids learned the word a** from me.
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    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by Newfherder;2816291;
    I happen to LIKE kids. A little marinade, a little barbecue sauce . . .

    Mostly, I do not like to be around kids for an extended length of time, which is why I never wanted any. I get to play with my ex-wife's 5-y-o twins on a semi-regular basis, which is fun, but so is waving goodbye when they leave. When it comes to hellions at stores, I have an advantage--apparently, kids are intimidated by a scruffy, long-haired, bearded behemoth giving them a Mona look. On rare occasions, I've also been know to bellow, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" to catch their attention. (My bellow can be easily heard from a half-mile away, as some of my survey crews can attest.)
    Heh Heh -- A Mona look with a bellowed What the HELL ARE YOU DOING? Would wither any kid.... Love it!
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    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by gabriel;2816996;
    Heh Heh -- A Mona look with a bellowed What the HELL ARE YOU DOING? Would wither any kid.... Love it!
    It would wither me!

    In the museum, I have to be more diplomatic than I would be anywhere else. We have "cast" figures that have signs that say: do not touch. We also have pigs. After saying: get off the pigs, get off the pigs, get off the pigs, I've finally come up with a foolproof way of getting my point across. I put on my best Southern drawl and say: "those pigs will bite yew!" (I get 2 syllables out of bite too.)

    And we have one figure sitting on a nail keg kind of hunched over and I had one kid climb on his back. He is the "father of Greenville, Vardry McBee". So I said to this kid: "Oh no, Mr. McBee is OLD, he doesn't give piggy back rides".

    Humor usually works although I've had to use my "teacher look and voice" a time or two.
    My daughter says I have a magic finger that I can point with and kids will stop in their tracks. Doesn't work on my own kid though, unfortunately.

    But it has worked many times on other kids.
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  8. #7488
    FORT Fogey Ellen's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by myrosiedog;2816849;
    . . .I'm already in trouble because several years ago one of my friends kids learned the word a** from me.
    Depending on the age of the kid, it's likely that s/he already knew that word from the kids on the playground. (along with a fair number of Carlin's words!)

    I've had to use my "teacher look and voice" a time or two.
    For Christmas, my hubby got me a t-shirt that says, "Don't make me use my teacher voice!"
    My daughter says I have a magic finger that I can point with . . .
    Me too! But I don't use it on kids.
    Last edited by Ellen; 02-28-2008 at 05:47 PM.
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by prhoshay;2815547;
    gabriel, that is right up there with me tripping out of control kids in the restaurants and stores! And that's not so much against the kid as it is a message to their idiot parents.
    I only did this once and it honestly wasn't my fault! I was at a buffet, and there were a herd of children just running all over the place, screaming. The parent were just there sitting and eating their mile high mashed potatoes while the spawn were running a mock. Well, I was walking to one of the food stations, a running screaming for year old girl tripped over the BACK of my foot and face planted it into the floor. I had to try really really hard not to laugh. Because I am evil like that. The girl got up and ran crying to her parents. I shrugged and scooped me up some glorious mashed potatoes.

    While leaving, one of the employees jokingly said to me, "try not to trip anymore kids."
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    MRD
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by Ellen;2817042;
    Depending on the age of the kid, it's likely that s/he already knew that word from the kids on the playground. (along with a fair number of Carlin's words!)


    For Christmas, my hubby got me a t-shirt that says, "Don't make me use my teacher voice!"

    Me too! But I don't use it on kids.
    It's not the same finger, although I have 2 of those too!

    I want a t-shirt like that Ellen. I think I may need it tomorrow. I just found out I am IN CHARGE of a group of 30 high risk teenagers coming in tomorrow. Me and the magic finger may be working hard tomorrow.


    on to a different topic.
    My inadvertant plan to blow up the Eastern Seaboard.

    I am a scrapbooker and being a klutz, sometimes I have adhesive problems. Well some years ago a company came out with a product called Undo. It is an adhesive remover. It is also "photo safe" which are two words that are EXTREMELY important to a scrapbooker. So if I glue down a photo that I put in the wrong spot, I can use this liquid and it lifts up my photo and doesn't damage anything. I use quite a lot of it. Works on paper and stuff like my Christmas cards I made.

    So I need some, I have used all that I had. I have been to all the stores that used to sell it: Walmart, Target, A.C. Moore, Michaels, Hobby Lobby (no one carries it anymore and they don't know why) and FINALLY a scrapbook store (I try to stay out of those, because its like an alcoholic going into a liquor store). They tell me at the scrapbook store that this product is no longer available because the Dept. of Homeland security has deemed it a highly dangerous substance that can no longer be transported. HOLY SH**!!! I've been using that stuff for years (and transporting it around in my car to various places to scrabook with my friends). Oh, it's safe for your photos, but by god, you can apparantly build a bomb with it! Who knew? I just want to fix my photo mistakes, not blow up the world. And I have yet to meet a group of militant scrapbookers intent on destroying mankind. Well maybe there are some, but they'd be taking pictures while they did and then putting those in scrapbooks later! Probably very easy for the authorities to catch.

    I did an online search and did find some and the site didn't have a problem selling it to me, but I'm now leary of answering the door, because it's likely to be delivered by SWAT team. I'm probably under FBI scrutiny just for buying it now.
    I swear, I could probably buy illegal drugs from my neighbor easier. (and yeah, we got one of those too. I am the LAST to find any of this out. I wondered why they always have so much company that never stays long)
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
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