Screw them, Lois. Feed me instead.
Screw them, Lois. Feed me instead.
Blow a kiss, fire a gun, we need someone to lean on
You're on! The pains in the butts are out...and you're all invited! Party at Chez Lane this weekend! Amy Lee, I know you'll want to bring something...so can you just bring Wentworth, please?Originally Posted by Amy Lee;2813729;
I also hate the way people try to take over other's events today.
"In my day" we were taught to just go, and if you can't or don't eat the main dih, surely you can eat something on the menu, just to have food in front of you. Enjoy the party, and if you have to eat more later, so be it. If you are that worried about food that might not be up to your expectations, decline the invitation.
I have found the Truth and it doesn't make sense.
That's just plain bad manners. If I told my babysitter I didn't like it, tough, eat it anyway. If I couldn't eat something because of allergies, etc. just don't serve it to yourself. Geeze the nerve of people today.
Yup, with donuts!!
Absolutely! These people would not receive a second invitation. Since when has being a gracious guest in someone's home gone out the window? :nonoOriginally Posted by buglover;2813787;
Oh, and Lois, I'll be bringing my 2 teenagers this week-end. They'll pick up the slack for anybody that's not keeping up
I have allergies. If I'm invited somewhere for dinner, I eat what I'm not allergic to. If the main course is fish, I don't eat the main course. (If a dish has nuts that aren't easily identified, I do discreetly ask what kind they are, and if the answer is "macadamia," I avoid that dish. Trust me, no one wants to be near my allergic reaction to those!) I focus on conversation and people. The food is secondary. The host is not responsible to fill my stomach. It's not a huge deal.
However, when I invite people over, I do ask about food allergies and dislikes, and make necessary accommodations in my menu. But if someone brings a "surprise" guest -- oh well! Mr. or Ms. Surprise will just have to make do with what's there.
If I'm invited to a home with cats or dogs, I decline the invitation because I'm asthma-allergic to furry critters. However, I explain the situation to the person/people, and follow-up with an invitation to either my home or a restaurant at a date in the near future -- someplace where allergens won't interfere with human interaction. That way, the people inviting me know I'm not just blowing them off. And it usually works out well. Except with my idiot in-laws, who just don't get it. (After 13 effin' years.)
"There's no crying in baseball!"
-- Tom Hanks, A League of Their Own
I have food allergies as well......garlic and fresh fruit. If I'm invited to someone's home, I simply avoid the dishes that may contain those. I don't think it's rude if you are a guest to inquire if any of the dishes may contain the items you are allergic to. However, if you are on a self-imposed diet, I think it's very rude to expect someone to cater to that when they are feeding many people.
I'm severly allergic to nuts and most people around me know that. Luckily it's not that many nuts in regular cooking, so it's mostly for desserts, cookies and cakes.
What annoys me on several occassions is that people are often willing to go out of their way to make sure vegetarian food is served (should someone be a vegetarian of course) not mixing the vegetarian dish with the meats and so on, but if I (or my mother, we're both allergic) ask for nuts then nobody knows for sure and we have to look in the trash for the packings of any uncertain ingridients that were used.
When I invite people over I try to accomodate everyone, it's not that hard and there's usually something for everyone. It's not fun if someone can't eat what's being served.
It just bugs me when people are more willing to work for vegetarians, a choice, perhaps they could get nausea from meat, but it's not a life-threatening situation.
I hate it when people don't RSVP either - it's so hard to plan anything when you don't know how many people will show up.
We have a good friend whose husband is deathly allergic to nuts. We've SEEN what happens to him if he eats something that is cooked in peanut oil or something that has even come into contact with a nut. He's used to this reaction though, and is ok with whatever we serve at parties.
However, same couple have two small children who have inherited Daddy's allergies. So, I have made a point of keeping everything as "nut-free" as possible when they are in our home because the kiddos aren't old enough to read the packages and they just grab food and toss it down without worrying if it could kill them! They LOVE Teddy Grahams and Goldfish Crackers and can eat them with no problem, so I always stock up on those before they visit.
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That is just rude and tacky. I would NEVER bring a surprise guest. I have been in that situation and had to call the hosts and say: "we have had unexpected company and won't be able to attend your dinner party". The host graciously invited the guest as well, but its up to the HOST to extend that invitation not me. Now if it was a BIG party with lots of people and probably a buffett I don't think it would be a problem to bring an extra person, but a sit down dinner party for 6, I see that as a problem.
And as for picking apart the menu, I agree with you on that. I know people have allergies and I have some issues with food as well, but I would never place that burden on the host. I would probably eat something before the party and also offer to bring a dish explaining that I have food issues and could I bring something. I dont' think that places any undue burden on the host.
I have a friend that is vegan. We have invited her for dinner and she declined saying: "I'm sure you are a wonderful cook, but I do not impose my lifestyle choice on others. Let's meet at a restaurant instead." And we have and everyone's had a good time and has gotten exactly what they want to eat.
I'm more than willing to accomodate my guests, but when they start picking things apart, complaining about the menu, not RSVPing and then wanting to bring someone, I'd probably say: "you know, this isn't going to work out, let's meet somewhere for drinks or dinner instead".
I know you don't want anyone to suffer life threatening allergies at your party, but if it was me, I think I'd turn this into a potluck dinner and then next time not have a dinner part, but maybe a cocktail party and be done with it or them.
I have known people with allergies in the past that either always decline the invitation and tell me why or offer to bring a dish they know they can eat and that is fine with me too. I just think that if you are on a restricted diet by choice or by health concerns, then its up to you to either decline or offer to bring something and explain it diplomatically. It is hard on a host to have to accomadate 6 different peoples choices or allergies. All they have done is want to open their home (and all the resultant work that having a party requires) and want to entertain friends, have fun and not have it become a chore because everyone is on a different diet.
And I see the side of those with allergies as well. But I think that it can be done in a way that doesn't put undue burdens on the hosts or make them not want to have the party because of the problems faced.
I just read an article that said dinner parties are on the decline. I now can see why.
Lois, I'd love to come to your party. I'm not all that picky and if I was and you served something I couldn't eat, I just wouldn't eat it. I'd be coming for the company with the food being secondary.
Que me amat, amet et canem meum
(Who loves me will love my dog also)