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Thread: FORT Koffee Klatch

  1. #6231
    Resident curmudgeon Newfherder's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Dear Neighbor,

    Congratulations on the birth of your new baby! I am happy to help! You may not know this, but I am a professional chef--in fact, I was the head chef on Fear Factor. How do you like your horse rectums? Rare, or medium rare?

    Looking forward to serving you,

    Newf

  2. #6232
    FORT Fogey livin4reality's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by Newfherder;2735513;
    Like one year, I bought my then-wife a cemetery plot. The next Christmas, she asked why I didn't get her anything, and I told her it was because she hadn't used what I got her last year.*

    *may not have actually happened
    Sounds like something my DH would do.

    In keeping with my bah-humbug feelings about entertaining, we will not be having the usual free loading family over the NYE. We've just decided to watch movies and have this:

    Slush punch
    mini-quiche
    texas salsa w/ tortilla chips
    guacamole
    homemade mini eggrolls
    fruit salad
    popcorn bark
    I very much believe in rescuing animals, not buying them.

    Candice Bergen, on finding her dog, Lois, a terrier/basset hound mix

  3. #6233
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by Lois Lane;2735627;
    NUTS! I already sent out schmoo's reply...

    That's perfect gabriel...thank you. (Can I add, "And who the heck are you and how did you get my email?!" Maybe that's a little rude...)

    (And let's face it folks, I'm not even the best cook. I really don't know why anyone would want me to cook for them! My cookies or cakes, yes! But not an actual entree!)

    Actually I like the and who the heck are you.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Newfherder;2735634;
    Dear Neighbor,

    Congratulations on the birth of your new baby! I am happy to help! You may not know this, but I am a professional chef--in fact, I was the head chef on Fear Factor. How do you like your horse rectums? Rare, or medium rare?

    Looking forward to serving you,

    Newf
    Newfherder - stop already! - I'm going to pee myself between this one and the cemetary plot one...

    Quote Originally Posted by livin4reality;2735662;
    Sounds like something my DH would do.

    In keeping with my bah-humbug feelings about entertaining, we will not be having the usual free loading family over the NYE. We've just decided to watch movies and have this:

    Slush punch
    mini-quiche
    texas salsa w/ tortilla chips
    guacamole
    homemade mini eggrolls
    fruit salad
    popcorn bark
    Hope you don't mind but I think I am going to steal this menu or parts thereof.


    Quote Originally Posted by waywyrd;2735542;
    I bet that got his attention, Gutmutter!

    Aww, don't feel too bad, misskitty. I've only known one man in my life that was a great gift getter. Some stupid gifts I've gotten from guys for birthdays/Christmas: a sponge to wash my car (ooo, but it matched the color of my car!), Tweety bird underwear (so not my style ), CD's that had obviously been opened and listened to for months, a bottle of liquor (I rarely drink)....the list goes on and on.

    No Way! A car wash sponge? oooooh.

    Today I put a photo of THE LOOK in my office on the wall next to my desk. A few people that came in started with uh.. gabriel could you uh... * I point to the picture and say - there's your answer*
    Last edited by just1paul; 12-28-2007 at 07:57 PM.
    - The Dean Martin Show -

    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

  4. #6234
    Amethyst YetiSports7 - Snowboard FreeRide Champion Amy Lee's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by Gutmutter;2735535;
    The daughter cried and cried while the new husband watched tv. The friend wouldn't undercut his authority so eventually the girl ate the food and went to bed. Then the friend went into the tv room and said, "We have to talk". He said they would after his show. She went in the garage and got a sledge hammer and came in and BUSTED the tv screen and said, "No, now". True story.
    Whoa! id love to watch this on tv.
    Kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me
    Infect me with your love and Fill me with your poison...

  5. #6235
    FORT Fogey brunette trixie's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by livin4reality;2735662;
    Slush punch
    mini-quiche
    texas salsa w/ tortilla chips
    guacamole
    homemade mini eggrolls
    fruit salad
    popcorn bark

    What is popcorn bark? And how is texas salsa different from regular salsa?

    And if someone bought me a cemetery plot as a gift, they would soon find themselves in it.

  6. #6236
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Folks, I have found that when it comes to men buying you a gift, it's best to give them a very specific list, All Written Out! I've found that guys have this "performance anxiety" when it comes to buying us gifts, if they are left to their own devices. Giving them this list will make them feel better, and you feel happier! Bless their little pointed heads.

    You even might want to be specific on the stores.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  7. #6237
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    little pointed heads?????? where is that pfft when I need it?
    - The Dean Martin Show -

    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

  8. #6238
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Do Not Make Me Hump Up My Back And Hop, Sideways, On My Toes!!!!!
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  9. #6239
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Although I will tell you...cemetery plots are EXPENSIVE! If someone wanted to buy one for me, I'd take it...for the future...not now!

  10. #6240
    Aint I a lil devil? SuperBrat's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    So I'm a tad late to the party, but I'm not doing anything for New Year's Eve. I have to be at work at 7 am on New Years, so that means bed at 12:30 at the LATEST for me. Oh well, this will (hopefully) be the last year I have to deal with this stupidness. Since I will be graduating in march and (hopefully) get a job I really like soon after.
    Pink Elephants on Parade!

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