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Thread: FORT Koffee Klatch

  1. #6211
    Miz Smarty Britches queenb's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by misskitty;2735070;
    BTW: I have a question. If a person gives you a gift that they received as a gift, it's called re-gifting.

    What if the person bought themself something, decided they didn't want it, was too lazy to take it back, and decided to give it to you and say it was a "gift"? It was never bought for you in the first place. Is that re-gifted or non-gifted, or just a re-jected gifting? Or is it a hand-me-down?
    Well, at least they paid for it, someone else didn't! I don't consider that regifted. So, if it was not used, and it's something I might conceivably be interested in, I would consider it a gift. And if I didn't like it, I'd return it myself, or maybe even 're-gift' it myself, and consider the money saved my gift. I get the sneaking suspicion the item described came from someone you don't like very much.
    I have found the Truth and it doesn't make sense.

  2. #6212
    MRD
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by Lois Lane;2735060;
    They were drinking beer and wine mostly... There was cider served, but it was spiked, and that stuff makes me queasy)... You know, this happened when I was in my 20's but it was more expected 'cause the people throwing it were twentysomething idiots... but you'd think people in their late 30's/early 40's would be more considerate...and you wouldn't think I'd be stupid enough to get into this situation again a second year in a row. And I brought something to the party--but I should've just brought non alcoholic beverages instead! D'oh!
    My parents always hosted a large Christmas party. My dad had a business, so it was their friends, business associates and relatives. It was always a fun party. BUT (and now this was back before people were all that concerned with drunk driving. Remember that time? It actually happened believe it or not), my mom ALWAYS had a non-alcoholic punch and of course, there were soft drinks (mostly used for mixers, but also because there were non-drinkers).
    It's just plain common courtesy.

    I went to a scrapbook workshop some months ago. I was told I didn't need to bring anything. I asked. Well, they had NO drinks. AT ALL. I ended up drinking water because that was all they had. I had even offered to bring drinks, etc. Several other ladies brought their own drinks. I suspect its happened to them before. I will know next time. Since most of these workshops happen at night and last until midnight. I usually need some form of caffiene, in either coffee or soda. But was shocked that there was nothing, even after I asked could I bring that and was told no it wasn't necessary.

    Next year, I'd bring something. Makes you wonder if some of the others were forced to drink beer or wine because nothing else was offered.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
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  3. #6213
    MRD
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by Amy Lee;2735120;
    I didn't exclusively mean a bf, i also meant friends. I've got no where to be and no where to go. Last year me and my brother(if anyone recalls) almost got demolished by a couple of destructive, stubborn folk. Maybe i'll end up partying with the rest of ya'll here. That is if you guys will seriously be here.
    Oh honey, I know what you mean. We haven't made any really special friends since we moved. We've met a lot of people, but no one we'd consider doing something with on NY Eve like our friends in Florida. Still, I do prefer to not have to go anywhere or do anything. We are doing more than we normally do because my friends daughter will be here.

    I'll probably be on and off here at the FORT on the Eve. I will be entertaining an 11 year old with fondue. So yeah, I'll need a break here to bring in the new year.

    Wishing you all the best. I had forgotten about what happened last year to you.
    Stay home, stay safe and get together with people after the holiday on a non-pressure night.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  4. #6214
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I always bring myself a large bottle of water, no matter where I go, especially if it's a class, meeting, etc. I am absolutely known for carrying my cold water wrapped in its kitty-themed cool wrapper (or whatever those things are called.) It keeps me happy, and marks my spot, so there's no confusion! I don't enjoy the caffeine beverages, that are generally offered, when I am doing those things. Plus I hate my coffee breath!

    On the NYE discussion, every year, my city puts on a family friendly, indoor NYE celebration for families with children. I've never been, but apparently it's very successful with refreshments, those jumping houses, face painting, music, etc...and it's free. I with you guys about driving on that night. Why do it if you don't have to? Places like the 'Y' also put on parties for kids, with swimming and various activities. I think the "Y's" activities are sleepovers.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

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  5. #6215
    FORT Fogey misskitty's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    prhoshay: Hmm. Yes, I think a pass-a-long makes sense.

    Quote Originally Posted by queenb;2735212;
    ... I get the sneaking suspicion the item described came from someone you don't like very much.
    No. It is my Xmas gift from my sweetie. I do appreciate that I will be getting it (this week), but the only real reason is that it's because he made a mistake in buying it for him in the first place. Because Xmas was near, this gave him an"out" to not have to go shopping for a gift for me specifically. That's the part I feel badly about. I'd much rather he take a few minutes and go and get me something he had intended to buy for me even if I don't get it until Ukrainian Christmas (Jan.7th).

    I spend so much time thinking of him and others, I guess I just get disappointed that I'm not worth a little time from them.

    I guess I'm sounding ungrateful, but it's not the gift that counts for me; it's the thought and little bit of effort that makes me feel good.

    Going over to the Why I Need Therapy thread now.
    Live simply ~ Love generously~ Care deeply~ Speak kindly

  6. #6216
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by misskitty;2735481;
    I'd much rather he take a few minutes and go and get me something he had intended to buy for me even if I don't get it until Ukrainian Christmas (Jan.7th)(
    No offense intended to men...but...misskitty, this is a man we're talking about. Most of them would rather have root canal than go shopping! I've found that no matter how well intentioned they are, it's hard for most of them to buy gifts for women. Mr. Lane always hopes that my computer will break down around a holiday or my birthday so that he can buy me a new one, or that I'll want a GPS unit or a new entertainment center. He knows how to deal with electronics. He doesn't know how to deal with buying me clothes, purses, jewelry etc.

    Heck, even I can't buy the right gifts for my nieces and nephews anymore. I've been giving them money or gift cards for a while now. When they were little, they loved EVERYTHING I got them...but now my tastes and that of a fashionable tween is quite different! Can you believe that?

  7. #6217
    FORT Fogey PGM35's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Since we are talking about men and gifts - here's my story. My dear boyfriend waited until the Saturday before Christmas to go in search of my gift. He returned fairly quickly - I guess he knew what he wanted to buy - but didn't get it. The card machine at the store wasn't working properly. It wasnt "denying or rejecting" it but was giving a code that said the store had to call the bank. Well, the bank was closed so he couldn't get it. He thought his card was deactivated or he was using his "new" card too soon. Either way, he got nothing. My thought would have been, I'll go get cash out of the bank and buy it. No, he was too embarrassed to go back to the store! I got him to admit that it was a jewelry store so I said, Oh, I thought you knew I wanted something like, xyz, meaning something more practical. The next day, he withdrew cash and came back with a large wrapped box.
    I got a slow cooker/crock pot instead of jewelry. I love it and can't wait to use it. I guess it all worked out in the end!

  8. #6218
    Premium Member burntbrat's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Speaking of men and bad gifts, one year my husband filled his quota with me. I had recently cleaned my car and detailed it myself. Not because I like doing that, but because it really needed it. In all the years we'd been together it was only the first or second time I'd ever cleaned the car so well. So for Christmas I got Armor All wipes, a vacuum that plugs into the lighter, and other car related gifts. I didn't want to be unappreciative but it made me feel like he didn't really know me all that well (or that he didn't care enough to know). Since then I've made it clear what my interests are and I've had wonderful, thoughtful gifts. They can learn, you might just need to nudge them a bit.

    I'm sorry you feel the way you do, misskitty, but I agree that something with a little more thought behind it would make a better gift.
    One of these days I'll stop being sensitive. Until then, I'll continue to be devastated on a daily basis. Life breaks my heart.

  9. #6219
    Resident curmudgeon Newfherder's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by Lois Lane;2735484;
    No offense intended to men...but...misskitty, this is a man we're talking about. Most of them would rather have root canal than go shopping! I've found that no matter how well intentioned they are, it's hard for most of them to buy gifts for women. Mr. Lane always hopes that my computer will break down around a holiday or my birthday so that he can buy me a new one, or that I'll want a GPS unit or a new entertainment center. He knows how to deal with electronics. He doesn't know how to deal with buying me clothes, purses, jewelry etc.
    Actually, this man was going to post something similar, but I've been flamed (via PMs) in the past for over-generalizing male-female relationships Lois Lane is right, misskitty. We aren't too swift when it comes to the gift. We don't feel the same level of panic, since we know that convenience stores will be there when the eleventh hour has come and gone. Even when we try harder, we tend to mess it up. Like one year, I bought my then-wife a cemetery plot. The next Christmas, she asked why I didn't get her anything, and I told her it was because she hadn't used what I got her last year.*

    *may not have actually happened

  10. #6220
    Go Donny! Gutmutter's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    My ex once got me a large stick pin of a SPIDER for valentine's day. Same man got me a 4 foot cactus for our anniversary. Of course you CAN train them. I had a friend whose new husband picked up a small box of chocolates for their first Valentine's day. She gave him the Mona look and dumped them in the trash... let him know in no uncertain terms that she would accept jewelry or any gift with thought put into it. Same friend had a daughter from a previous marriage who was 4 or 5 when she married this new husband. One night early on he made the daughter sit at the supper table until she finished something she didn't like. The daughter cried and cried while the new husband watched tv. The friend wouldn't undercut his authority so eventually the girl ate the food and went to bed. Then the friend went into the tv room and said, "We have to talk". He said they would after his show. She went in the garage and got a sledge hammer and came in and BUSTED the tv screen and said, "No, now". True story.
    Count your blessings!

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