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Thread: FORT Koffee Klatch

  1. #5561
    FORT Fogey Ellen's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by prhoshay;2671142;
    I, for one, am fascinated by your on-going saga about Dan! I'm thinking that you are going to have to treat that child like he belongs to you! I vote no more walking on eggshells with him! He needs to lose the impression that your kindness is actually weakness. "Later!" for the dumb stuff!
    I agree -- it sounds like he's taking advantage of you. The labeling of the containers is pretty obvious. You've been (rightfully) very patient with him, but this sounds like "Sucker! Let's see how far I can go."

    My family hosted an AFS exchange student from Venezuela. He was a nice guy, but spoiled by being the baby of the family and only son with two older sisters and a mom -- the women of the family did everything for him. He was pretty crafty at playing the "no comprendo" and "helpless" routine, and trying to get me and my sister to cater to him as his sisters did.

    We were patient and understanding, but when we saw through the manipulations, Mom and Dad sat him down and were straight with him as to the rules of the house, what was expected, and what we wouldn't put up with. He tested us again now and then, but for the most part, he shaped up. He respected my parents more when they had the sit-down with him, and set and enforced the boundaries.

    So -- for your own sanity, and Dan's own good -- NO MORE EGGSHELLS! This kid's playing you.
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  2. #5562
    Best Buddies Gutmutter's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Wow! See, This is why I bring this stuff up here. Dan is also the only son with 2 younger (twin) sisters. I never thought of those family dynamics, but I bet it is close to what you describe. I know you are all right about getting it out on the table and maybe he just made it easier for me to do that. I've been trying to allow for how alienated he must be feeling, but really... tonight was just ridiculous.
    Count your blessings!

  3. #5563
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I brought up this saying in another thread: "The problem with men is that they were raised by women." This is where a lot of guys learn this manipulative and bad behavior. A man would settle for so much less of this kind of mess out of him. The sisters....the mothers....they learn that they can get away with "murder". As the mother of a son, I can see the truth in this saying. We can really be weak for our boys....to their detriment.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

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  4. #5564
    That's all folks! Unklescott's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    The same can be said about women. I've known lots of spoiled Daddy's girls. Let's just say it depends on the family and try not to make it gender specific.

  5. #5565
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I talk about that which I know.

    I'm not saying "all" men, but I have seen quite a lot of it.
    Last edited by prhoshay; 11-15-2007 at 10:45 PM.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  6. #5566
    Miz Smarty Britches queenb's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by myrosiedog;2669985;
    Well, Superbrat, your mutant tomato can join forces with my mutant azalea. I have ONE azalea plant out of about 10 that is in FULL bloom and its fall and the others have not had a bloom on them since last April. So my yard is full of yellow and red and orange leaves and one bright pink azalea. The color clash is just awful.
    Myrosiedog, that is an "Encore" azalea, developed to bloom in the spring and again in fall. Don't be scared!

    Gutmutter, I too think you need to lay down the law to Dan. I also don't think it would be too much to ask for him to get off the damn computer already and eat with you and your daughter, when you pay for the whole thing.
    I have found the Truth and it doesn't make sense.

  7. #5567
    MRD
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Never heard of an Encore azalea before. Thanks Queenb.

    Gut, you haven't worn out your welcome on the Dan subject. Lot of great advice here. Sit him down and talk to him. Or get a lock for the refrigerator.
    Maybe you could get a big sign for the front of the refrigerator and write: Mom's Food and put it on the fridge.

    Food is obviously an issue with him. I just wonder how its handled back at his home. But I would talk to him.
    And whether there are family dynamics or feeling alienated, etc. or whatnot at play here. The fact remains he is here as a guest. He is a guest in your home and if he wants the complete American experience, then he needs to know how your American family functions and try to assimilate to THAT dynamic while he's here. Your home is not his private hotel and restaurant. It's his "home" while he's here and he should respect that.

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  8. #5568
    Best Buddies Gutmutter's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I just called the director of the program to touch base and bounce these things off him - not to have him handle it, just to see how much is cultural and whether other hosts have had the same problem. He said it is not a problem he's dealt with before and that when they had their meeting this month he noticed Dan doesn't interact with any of the other exchange students either. He is going to discreetly investigate Dan's background at home (sometimes parents send them here if they've been in trouble or not socializing, etc.) and I'm going to talk with Dan and then we'll be back in touch and go from there. I am still chuckling about his "peeing on" all the chinese food (disgusting metaphor, I know).
    Count your blessings!

  9. #5569
    MRD
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by Gutmutter;2671905;
    I just called the director of the program to touch base and bounce these things off him - not to have him handle it, just to see how much is cultural and whether other hosts have had the same problem. He said it is not a problem he's dealt with before and that when they had their meeting this month he noticed Dan doesn't interact with any of the other exchange students either. He is going to discreetly investigate Dan's background at home (sometimes parents send them here if they've been in trouble or not socializing, etc.) and I'm going to talk with Dan and then we'll be back in touch and go from there. I am still chuckling about his "peeing on" all the chinese food (disgusting metaphor, I know).[/

    Actually that is probably the best way to describe his behavior. Like an alpha dog.

    Well at least you have some sense of humor about the situation.
    I'm glad you talked to the director so you know its not just you. Sounds like he has some issues. And if he does, shame on his parents for foisting him off on an unsuspecting family instead of trying to deal with it themselves.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  10. #5570
    CCL
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by Gutmutter;2671103;
    My daughter and I ate in front of the tv while Dan ate at the computer.
    Hopefully not reading your posts on him here while eating!
    If you type "google" into google you can break the internet.

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