FORT Koffee Klatch

[MRD]

My church is having a women's event in Sept. I had said something about it to a friend yesterday and she expressed an interest in going with me.

One of the event organizers contacted me today and I mentioned about my friend and was told: "This is for church members ONLY". I was stunned to say the least. Since we have lived here, I have been invited to any number of events, bbq's, plays, pageants, meetings, dinners, etc. at various churches by people I know and don't know.

I have NEVER heard of a church turning away anyone that expressed an interest. (never know when you will find a new member). And this is a more or less social event, so its not like its something that only members can do like voting on church policy, deacons, etc. And previous other events have been open to anyone regardless of membership.

I didn't say anything as I am yet too new and didn't want to rock the boat, but I'm really questioning why I want to keep going to this church as I was talked to like a stupid 3 year old child about bringing in a "non-church member".
So far we've had nothing but good experiences at this church, but this just totally blows me away. I think it is a good opportunity for others to meet some of the women in our church and find out more of what our church is like. I am still just stunned and now have to tell my friend that she can't come?

What amazes me is that like most small churches, we have a lack of volunteers and funds for all sorts of things, so you'd think it would be nice to attract new members any way you can to boost both the funds and volunteers and church membership.

I know that more than likely its just this woman and a few of her friends as that little group has been less than friendly to me since we started going and there are plenty of others that are great to my family and this woman just represents a very small group. But still. I would wonder what our membership committee and minister would have to say about this. I'm not going to mention it as the church is small enough that it would get back to me being the one that said something. But still. I am still sitting here with my mouth hanging open at this.

And I'm sure that any number of other churches in the area would jump at the chance to welcome someone new.

Or am I taking it wrong?

[Ellen]

hi! I havent posted here, but need to tell someone..after 5 years out, I just signed up for college again...

Woo-hoo! Congrats and best wishes -- that's great!

[remote_goddess]

Or am I taking it wrong?

No. You are definitely not taking it wrong, as far as I'm concerned. I would be so shocked if this were to happen to me - I've never ever in all my life had anyone from any church behave this way. I wish I could offer advise on how to deal with it, but I'm at a loss here. I just wanted to say that no, I do not think you are wrong to feel how you do about what was said.

[srs_in_Oregon]

oh I had a church issue to! my sister had my nephews dedication at our church saturday morning, and the pastor proceeded to apologize to the congregation for her having a baby out of wedlock..I have seen hundreds of dedications at my church,and Ive never seen that done before... I grew up in this church and I was livid..this wasnt about her, this was about my nephew whose dedication video is now tainted by his choice..I grew up in that church, and now I wont go back...

[Ellen]

I know that more than likely its just this woman and a few of her friends as that little group has been less than friendly to me since we started going and there are plenty of others that are great to my family and this woman just represents a very small group. But still. I would wonder what our membership committee and minister would have to say about this.

That's really bizarre, and I'm almost certain (from having worked at churches in a past life) that the membership committee and minister would be appalled. Usually, these kinds of events are planned specifically for members to invite others, with the hope that the invitees become new members or regular attenders -- and especially donors.

[ScoutMom]

You really don't expect reactions like that in a church setting. It just goes to show that people are people no matter where they are or what organization they belong to. I think I'd say something to the minister and/or membership committee. Who knows how many other people this woman may drive away with that closed-off attitude.

[Stargazer]

I'd find a new church. I've never heard of such a thing.

[queenb]

I'd find a new church. I've never heard of such a thing.

Me too, except I would ask one of the other organizers about it first. A lot of times people involved setting up events feel the need to control everything about it, so maybe it's just the one woman who doesn't want any non members there. If the others said the same thing, well, there are other churches out there that go by the normal open to all policy.

[dagwood]

srs, good for you. It is never to late to go back to school.

MRD, I would talk to the main organizer and see if this is really the case. If it is, I would let them know your feelings then I would probably be looking for another church. Every church I have been to look forward to new people coming to functions.

[PGM35]

I know I'm probably in the minority here but maybe there are reasons that it's Church Members only. Like it's to reward the members for things they've done this summer or something similar. Maybe it's a funding issue and there will be other "invite people" type of events later. Just my 2 cents - I may be way off here but I would have asked the lady why, and probably asked her if there are any exceptions that could be made for someone I've already invited.