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Thread: FORT Koffee Klatch

  1. #4101
    FORT Fogey cricketeen's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Wow, just wow, MRD. I'm glad you were able to stand up to that fool in your grief.
    Maybe we were lucky, or maybe my dad knew what he was doing when he chose that particular funeral home and cemetary for himself. He didn't make any of his own arrangements, but he did say he liked those two from past funerals he'd attended, so we just went with them and were very satisfied.
    "If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough." - Mario Andretti

  2. #4102
    MRD
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by cricketeen;2448467;
    Wow, just wow, MRD. I'm glad you were able to stand up to that fool in your grief.
    Maybe we were lucky, or maybe my dad knew what he was doing when he chose that particular funeral home and cemetary for himself. He didn't make any of his own arrangements, but he did say he liked those two from past funerals he'd attended, so we just went with them and were very satisfied.
    I think it was my grief that gave me the extra OOMPF I needed to tell this woman off.
    Of course, my husband comes outside where I am standing by the car and says: "you know a dramatic exit would have been a lot better if you didn't have to go back in and sign the papers" And that cooled me off quite a bit, but I refused to go back in and sign them with her. They had to call someone to come in because I REFUSED to deal with her anymore.

    There are a lot of good places, but I guess like with any business, there are those that are not so hot. I think your dad saying that he had seen first hand how they handled funerals is a great reccomendation. But often people don't have that experience to fall back on or they pick someplace from the yellow pages. I think this is a business where word of mouth is extremely important. Unfortunately I've attended a lot of funerals (I am from a very small town, where you know everyone, so when someone dies, you have to go because you did know them), but I do know that the old funeral home in my town was extremely good and helpful. However, by the time my last grandmother had died, they had sold to a corporation and I didn't feel we got the same level of personal service and that they did take some advantage of things.
    This is definetly a business were people need to be solemn, comforting and EXTREMELY professional and also have a personal touch. I can't imagine its easy to be a good funeral director, but I would think common sense would dictate how you handle grieving families.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  3. #4103
    FORT Fogey famita's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    When my dad died years ago, he wanted to be cremated. The funeral home had pages for us to choose from. There were even those with pillowy satin insides and cushiony plush pillows. We couldn't believe it! I think that was the one thing that kept me sane through the grieving process-absurdity!

    I think Newf is going to have to break down and send us a picture of him in speedos. Lime green like Borat or how about the stars and stripes like Mark Spitz?

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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by famita;2448500;
    When my dad died years ago, he wanted to be cremated. The funeral home had pages for us to choose from. There were even those with pillowy satin insides and cushiony plush pillows. We couldn't believe it! I think that was the one thing that kept me sane through the grieving process-absurdity!

    I think Newf is going to have to break down and send us a picture of him in speedos. Lime green like Borat or how about the stars and stripes like Mark Spitz?
    Famita, I agree that there is a great deal of absurdity and excess in some of the choices that are given. And in grief, some people can be easily swayed to spend more money than is necessary. Personally, I think that the less money spent on me when I go, the better. I'd rather my family have any money I may hopefully have in the future!

    Ok, I probably shouldn't be telling this one on me, but after the experience with the inappropriate remarks at the cremation place, they also promised us my mom's ashes by a certain date. We set the service for after that date and my niece bought a plane ticket. Then we were told, oh no, it's going to be another 10 days. I LOST it again with these people. I had already dealt with the idiot and then to be told, that my mom's ashes would not be ready to scatter at the service we had planned and she and my dad had been adament they be scattered together. I was on the phone with the company and I KNOW they probably thought they were dealing with a crazy woman because I said: "I don't care if you have to throw her on the BBQ grill in the backyard, you'll have those ashes when you told us you'd have them".

    As my mom was a renowned BBQ griller, it wasn't totally off the wall, but I had just had it with these people and the arrangements had been made and I wasn't changing them because they screwed up.

    They had the ashes ready on time. And then they wanted to know if we wanted the steel rods that had been in my mom's back (she had scoliosis and several surgeries for it, one to insert 2 rods attached to her spine).
    Yeah, I'll put those on the fireplace mantel. Well, maybe others would want that stuff, but I was a little grossed out by the thought of it. I told them to dispose of them properly that I did not want them.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by famita;2448500;
    When my dad died years ago, he wanted to be cremated. The funeral home had pages for us to choose from. There were even those with pillowy satin insides and cushiony plush pillows. We couldn't believe it! I think that was the one thing that kept me sane through the grieving process-absurdity!

    I think Newf is going to have to break down and send us a picture of him in speedos. Lime green like Borat or how about the stars and stripes like Mark Spitz?
    Check post #5154 in the "What do you look like?" thread.
    "The road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair, even though they both lead to the same destination."
    --Marion Zimmer Bradley

  6. #4106
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Thanks everyone for your tips and stories. I hate doing this kind of stuff but then it's out of the way and no one has to worry about it.

  7. #4107
    MRD
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by Lois Lane;2448569;
    Thanks everyone for your tips and stories. I hate doing this kind of stuff but then it's out of the way and no one has to worry about it.
    It's not something pleasant, but at least once its done you have peace of mind that YOUR wishes are going to be carried out. After the Terry Schivo thing, we got our affairs in order, living wills, power of attorney, organ donor stuff, wills and all that other stuff. I could not imagine going through the grief and having it become a public spectacle and then not getting what I wanted. So Mr. Rosie and I have got all of our affairs in writing and I have sent copies of it to my brother and a friend (mostly because I know that Mr. Rosie would NEVER be able to find it in our file cabinet should he need it even though the file is labled: Wills and POA's.). Anyway, we now know that what we want is what will happen as its all legally done and pre-arranged. And it is a giant relief when its done.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  8. #4108
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    You are so right. It's a minor inconvenience to take care of it now and then it's done. Since we have no children, I want to make sure that our money (unless we spend it all! ) goes to who we want it to go to as well as our favorite charities... I have a will from when I was in my 20's. The husband and I don't have a new will. We have to get that all in order.

    Yeah, when I die, I want my organs to be donated and then to be cremated. It's not important to me that someone have my ashes. I'd rather be scattered over some place I love. (For you, mrd, that'd be some ONE you love...Johnny Depp! )

  9. #4109
    Wild thang Rattus's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Lois, I don't have a load of experience with funeral homes, but I would suggest one thing - make sure you end up with either a chain or a funeral home with some sort of reciprocal agreement with other homes around the country, just in case you decide to move at some point. My MIL spent her entire life in Alberta and had her plan arranged out there, but ended up spending her few remaining years in Toronto. She had her plan transferred quite easily (she was cremated - a plot would likely be another thing altogether), and the whole...event(? - not sure what to call it)...was worry free for Mr. Rattus, who took on the responsibility on his family's behalf.
    All I wanted was a 45, a stinking 45 - the record or the gun. I'd even settle for the damn malt liquor. - Al Bundy.

  10. #4110
    MRD
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by Lois Lane;2448614;
    You are so right. It's a minor inconvenience to take care of it now and then it's done. Since we have no children, I want to make sure that our money (unless we spend it all! ) goes to who we want it to go to as well as our favorite charities... I have a will from when I was in my 20's. The husband and I don't have a new will. We have to get that all in order.

    Yeah, when I die, I want my organs to be donated and then to be cremated. It's not important to me that someone have my ashes. I'd rather be scattered over some place I love. (For you, mrd, that'd be some ONE you love...Johnny Depp! )

    Mmm, doubt Johnny would like that very much.

    Where I grew up, the Peace River practically ran in my backyard. It was the "centerpiece" of my early life if you will. We swam in it, my husband and I canoed on it many, many times while dating, our family picniced by it. It just has a lot of significance and my parents remains were scattered in it. So that's what I want too. And I want a pink plastic flamingo and my Gator's national championship football there and some songs I picked out and then I want all my friends and family to go have a big party afterwards. That's kind of what we did with my parents and it was what they wanted and it was perfect.
    But getting it all in writing is very important, especially the part about keeping me alive on machines if there is no chance of recovery. I don't want that. I want my organs donated too. I even thought about donating my body to a medical school. I'd rather know that what is left after "me" is gone, can do someone some kind of good. And I don't want my family to have the burden of trying to deal with all this either. So we have done what we can beforehand. It may not be pleasant to think about, but believe me, its so much peace of mind to know its all done and that what WE want is what WE will get. And I don't have some idiot from my husband's side of the family having ANY say so. And I don't want my daughter to have to make a very difficult decision like my mother had to make for her mother. This way, the decisions are made in advance.

    Anyone see the movie Rocket Gibralter? I think a Viking funeral would have been cool, but I don't think the authorities would think so, so that's out.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

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