Well.. I stopped partying a few months before I became pregnant and started taking prenatal vitamins and readied my body for conception. I didn't wait until after I found out to put a stop to my wild ways. Does that make me a better parent than you?? Absolutely not!
What I am trying to convey is that people come from all walks of life and nothing is black and white especially parenting.
[mod edit] Like Rosie my opinoins are my own but I am coming at this from a totally different angle than you are [mod edit] Not only in the neice's case but for all moms.
We are all so quick to jump to judgement. If you see a big kid in a stroller we assume the parents are lazy, not that the child is a runner and a stroller is better than a harness. If we see a child throwing a tantrum or crying uncontrollably we immediately judge the parent.
Understanding goes a long way. With that said and the additional information that livin4 has shared it seems that this girl is officially in over her head. I hope you can convince her to get herself some help livin4. It must be awfully difficult to watch her going through this.