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Thread: FORT Koffee Klatch

  1. #3901
    MRD is offline
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by queenb;2424342;
    A responsible mom spends every other night with her new baby that has only been home a week, and is out partying already? I don't see where this girl is buckling and doing anything that focuses on her child.
    Especially, having a second child when you already have a 2 year old with no father in the picture is to me the height of irrisponsibility.
    I couldn't have said it better.

    Yes, parents need outlets. We are better parents when we do have other adult outlets, but come on, going out doing drugs one week after you give birth even if the child is with someone else that is "responsible"? Maybe a better outlet would have been to go out with a friend to dinner or a cup of coffee or even a movie.
    Partying and doing drugs is a behavior risk that could potentially affect the child. What if the mother was arrested? Drove impaired and had an accident? What happens to her child then?
    No my life didn't stop when I had a child, but I did look at how my behavior might affect my child's life and me partying was not in my child's best interest, but me having time out with my friends in a socially responsible manner did do me a lot of good and make me a less stressful parent. If you have to revert to drugs and partying to relieve stress, there are other issues that need to be dealt with.
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  2. #3902
    addicted MamaC's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Hmmmmm, a week after I had given birth, I was just coming home from the hospital. The only thing I was looking forward to was getting at least 2-3 hours of continual sleep! If I had managed to get to a bar, I probably would have fallen asleep before the bartender gave me my drink.

    I do remember when one of hubby's sisters had a baby. The baby was a week old. Her husband was a fireman pulling a 24-hour shift. She had the kind of baby that slept through the night right from the beginning....or so she said. So she decided that since the baby was sleeping and the hubby was at work, she could go out on the town on a Saturday night. She asked her then 10-year-old niece to spend the night. And then she went out partying! No one in his family thought that was odd. I couldn't believe it. To put a 10 year old in that kind of position was just plain wrong and completely stupid. And I am sure she got high too while she was out until 4 a.m.

    That child has just completed his sophomore year in college, the parents are divorced, and she and her latest boyfriend are still making the rounds at bars and getting high.

    Like MRD said, if you have to revert to drugs and/or alcohol, there are other issues that have to be dealt with.

  3. #3903
    Team DAN schmoo2's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    My first outing after my first child was born was at 2 weeks.

    seems strange, but we went to Chuckie Cheese and I played 'whack a demon' for about an hour.
    Definitely relieved some stress that was going on in my life at that point.
    I recommend it to anyone.

  4. #3904
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Question! Does anyone use a neti pot? If you do, how does it help you? Do you use it every day?
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer.

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  5. #3905
    Peeking In Duxxy's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Shmoo I think I like your solution - I may try it myself tonight.

    I think some of you are getting the wrong impression here. In no way to I condone what livin4's neice has chosen to do I'm just saying let's not crucify her for going out! You're acting like she was smoking a joint while holding the baby in her arms. I'm sure that none of you has ever been drunk/stoned what ever. There are different degrees of responsibility. While an action may be irresponsible the person may not be.
    My first time out without my baby was when she was 4 months old and my mom babysat while we went to a wedding. Nope, I didn't smoke up (neve r have) and I didn't get drunk but that was me... and as I said, I got the partying out of my system. Actually my husband got drunk at that wedding. Does that make him an irresponsible, bad parent? I don't think so.
    In my opinion you are being overly harsh and extremely judgemental. The reason the child is only with mom every second night is because it's a custody agreement with the baby's FATHER. That baby is being parented NOT babysat. It's not like she is foisting the baby off on anyone who crosses her path. As I said I don't agree with the drugs and boozing, and much like MamaC all I longed for was a good night's rest. But that was me. This mom is not me. She is not any of you either. She's making choices, albeit some bad ones, but unlike many parents she seems to have a very solid support system to rely on.
    I have seen bad parents, in no way does this mom resemble a bad parent - yet. Livin4 has spoken with her as have many of her family members and hopefully she gets the message.
    Tearing the girl down is not productive. She's not out every night partying it up.

    We can't all be paragons of parenting, and there isn't really a handbook just a whole lot of opinions.

    Livin4 continue to support your neice and tell her that I wish her the best. She hasn't made any irreversible mistakes yet and I hope she keeps it that way. With a supportive family like you in her corner I think everything will turn out great!

    what the heck is a neti pot?

    Never mind I just looked it up. Somethings just don't belong in your nose
    Last edited by fluff; 05-30-2007 at 06:13 PM. Reason: looked up the neti pot
    "Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one."

  6. #3906
    Aint I a lil devil? SuperBrat's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I have a new cousin! Well, second cousin. My cousin and his wife welcomed a baby girl into the world yesterday at around 5:30 pm. They ended up having to deliver her C-section, which was good, because the baby's shoulders were so wide, something could have torn or something. The baby girl weighed in at 10 pounds, 10 ounces, and her name is Skyler (or is it Skylar...). I don't know what her middle name is, last I checked, they were going to name her Skyler America. Which is better than what they were going to name her... they were going to name her America. But this child is so not going to be a girly girl lol. I can gaurentee that she will be riding a 4-wheel ATV by the time she's 3. My aunt is so excited for a grand daughter. She had two boys, so I just know she is going to spoil this girl rotton.
    Pink Elephants on Parade!

  7. #3907
    Resident curmudgeon Newfherder's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch


    Just for the record, your first cousin's child is your first cousin, once removed
    "The road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair, even though they both lead to the same destination."
    --Marion Zimmer Bradley

  8. #3908
    'She my American Idol' SoStacieFan's Avatar
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    I have returned from my hiatus

    Hi guys, it's been almost 2 years since I last logged on so I wanted to let you know what's been happening with me.

    I've started getting into other things that are not from this site which I'll explain later. What has happened since I've been gone?

  9. #3909
    FORT Fogey just1paul's Avatar
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    Re: I have returned from my hiatus

    Oh good gravy, you have a lot of reading to catch up on.
    - The Dean Martin Show -
    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..


  10. #3910
    FORT Fogey livin4reality's Avatar
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    Re: I have returned from my hiatus

    Quote Originally Posted by gabriel;2424860;
    Oh good gravy, you have a lot of reading to catch up on.

    Now that is an understatement! I come here at least once a day and can hardly keep up.

    Duxxy-There are so many levels to this whole mess. Niece had her 2yo with her when she was getting high. Not so forgivable. Everyone makes mistakes and hopefully learns from them. BUT IMO all these problems boil down to one simple fact. She has 2 small children now. They aren't going away. She has to grow up fast and deal with it. I think that is what her mom and dad are trying to drill into her head. But it is all compounded by her mental issues and the new dad. IMO I think it is admirable the dad wants to be there for his baby, but he should back off for a month and let Mom and baby recover from the birthing process. Coming to visit is fine, but carting the baby from house to house each night is just more stress for everyone.
    I very much believe in rescuing animals, not buying them.

    Candice Bergen, on finding her dog, Lois, a terrier/basset hound mix

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