FORT Koffee Klatch

[Newfherder]

Now THAT would be fairer rule if the women have to wear tight clothes...eye candy for everyone!
Sorry for the mutilple posts.... slinking away.

*furiously clicking "report post" buttons*

[11sstephanie]

Now I'm sure that I posted this back in the peeves thread, but since it's gone onto wherever it is that the dead threads go to, I'll post it again.

PEEVE: mowing the lawn. We have an acre of grass, 99.9997% of it being on a hill. Who ges stuck mowing this lawn? That's right, the dog. I wish though. It takes 3 hours to do (on a ride-on-mower, no less), and that's assuming that I do a crappy job, which is exactly what I did on Saturday when I did it. So yesterday, I went back outside to tidy up, however, i kind of goofed off while tidying up (as in I was playing around, trying to see how tightly I could pull the corners, how fast I could go down the driveway if I pulled out the throttle, that sort of stuff), so today, I went out again to tidy up my tidying up. But at this point, the grass has grown long enough that it's eaisest to not trip the corners at all, as it will look messier then if I leave them be. However, my life story dictates that I will not realize this until after I spend 30 minutes on the BLACK tractor in the 80º weather, so now I think I'm going to be forced to go out there again, and re-mow the whole lawn. Not to mention pay for the $10 in gas that the tractor will use to accomplish that feat.

Now I know I'm lucky to have the ride-on mower, but I still have to wonder why we need such a huge lawn. The only lawn in the town that's bigger than ours belongs to the school. And no, this does not make me a rich snob (as my homeroom teachers seems to think). What it makes me is a girl who has an oversized lawn. If I was a rich snob, I'd hire someone to mow it for me.

[SuperBrat]

I was part domestic goddess last night! My cousin's wife is getting her labor induced tomorrow, so I needed to put together the gift basket of baby clothes I got for them, and I needed a blanket. So, a few months ago, I bought a baby quilt kit from WalMart that was marked down to $4, so I sewed that. It was the first thing I have sewn on a machine in nearly 13 years (since the 6th grade), and put it in the bottom of the basket. So now, I am in search of plushie patterns to make for my own personal amusement. Because I am a 10 year old trapped in a nearly 25 year old body.

[katgib13]

Start with, "He is not a freakin puppy!" If she is old enough to breed twice, she is old enough to understand that her days of hedonism are over. Responsible parents do not go out and get stoned. She may not like it, but that's too damn bad. Her kids' well-being is more important than her hurt feelings.

Yup. That works for me.

She also needs to be aware that if she doesn't take this into consideration, the dad has every right to fight her for full custody. She really needs to figure out which lifestyle she wants to live.

[prhoshay]

Ok folks. I need some advice here. I'm going to be calling my neice and need some words of wisdom for her. Here is the story.

She is 23. Unmarried, has a 2 1/2 yo.girl. She has problems with depression and some type of personality disorder that I cannot remember right now. She lives with her Mom (my sis) and her husband in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere. So. She just had a baby boy. The father was out of the picture early on, but all along has said he wants to be in the baby's life. He was at the hospital for the birth and was very much "hands on" with all the care and feeding. They decided to "share custody" before baby was born. Now baby has been home almost a full week and has spent every other night with my neice or the father.!!

Then Friday night when baby was with dad, my niece goes out partying, gets stoned and calls to see if baby is ok. She also tells dad she is high. He calls next day, mad and says she is unfit. He says he taped the convo. My sister talks him into bringing the baby back, and now niece says she is not going to bring dad the baby back tomorrow blah blah. What a royal mess. I am so mad. My sis is so stressed out. But most importantly, what about this baby? He is not a freakin puppy! What to say to her?

Personally, I'd stay out of it if I didn't have firsthand knowledge of any of it. Getting involved in "he said, she said" is only asking for trouble, and people will find a way to make you "the goat".

[livin4reality]

Ah jeez. I am close to this niece. But she does have some major problems.

I called her. Basically laid it on the line. Repeated over and over in various ways that the baby is her #1 priority. I don't think any of it sunk in. She just kept saying, I just want to make everyone happy. (meaning the sperm donor) Saying, I don't know what to do. etc. One very good thing in this whole mess is my sister and her husband. They are great people. Niece is lucky to have them as a support system. I have a bad feeling about all of this. Her first baby died of a heart defect a week or so after birth. Then she married a different guy and right off the bat had another. Divorced him and hooked up with this guy. Who left her right after finding out she was pregnant. Sis is talking about lawyers now..

prhoshay-My inclination is to stay out of it. Normally this type of stuff I do. But sis asked me to call and talk to her. Luckily we don't live close.

[MRD]

Then she married a different guy and right off the bat had another. Divorced him and hooked up with this guy. Who left her right after finding out she was pregnant. Sis is talking about lawyers now..

Geez, I'd be talking BIRTH CONTROL. And of the permanent kind. If she cannot be responsible enough to take care of the kids she has, then she does not need to be having more. My lifestyle changed dramatically when I had a baby and I was happy it did. I wanted to stay home and be a mom. I did not want to go out partying anymore.

Everyone else is right. You can't have it both ways. And sounds like she needs something, not sure what at this point, but definetly needs to find out about how to NOT get pregnant.

[prhoshay]

Unfortunately (or fortunately), we are not all cut from the same cloth.

[Duxxy]

Geez, I'd be talking BIRTH CONTROL. And of the permanent kind. If she cannot be responsible enough to take care of the kids she has, then she does not need to be having more.

I think we are forgetting something here.. She was a responsible mom! Her child was not in her custody, she was safe and sound with her father (you can't call him a sperm donor it sounds like he is doing his part). Life does not, nor should it end when you have a child. Kudos to those of us who buckle down and make parenting the focus of our lives. I for one was much older when I had M, I was 29- I got all of my partying out of my system and I am now very content to be 'mom'. This is not true of all people. Some women (and a lot of men) are SO happy to drop their kids off at daycare in the morning and escape to work - just to be with adults, it's not easy being a parent.
Since this mom already has some mental issues she is probably at risk for post partum, getting out and being 'normal' might be doing her a world of good. I don't agree with the drugs, but seriously? Coming down on a chick who is blowing off some steam seems a little steep to me.
She could have been leading a hard partying life before she became pregnant but since livin4 didn't mention FAS or a drug dependant baby I think it's pretty safe to say that mom took care of herself and her baby while she was pregnant.
You do not check your life at the door once you have a child.
If anything the mom's big mistake was telling the dad that she was 'under the influence' Chances are she told him because it was an activity they shared once upon a time.

I have never met a parent who didn't want the best for their child. Mom sounds neither neglegent or irresponsible to me. All you can do is point out the obvious (that it's time for the hard partying to take a back seat) and support her.

[queenb]

I think we are forgetting something here.. She was a responsible mom! Her child was not in her custody, she was safe and sound with her father (you can't call him a sperm donor it sounds like he is doing his part). Life does not, nor should it end when you have a child. Kudos to those of us who buckle down and make parenting the focus of our lives..

A responsible mom spends every other night with her new baby that has only been home a week, and is out partying already? I don't see where this girl is buckling and doing anything that focuses on her child.
Especially, having a second child when you already have a 2 year old with no father in the picture is to me the height of irrisponsibility.