FORT Koffee Klatch

[Lois Lane]

Any advice on how you all deal with this? I prefer to split bills down the middle but sometimes people are insistent on picking up the tab, which is very generous.

We recently met up with another couple and we had a pizza dinner. They picked up the tab: about $40. They wouldn't hear of having us put in any money. So, we said we'd pay the next time we went out to dinner. Well, the next dinner turned out to be quite expensive: about $170 (a bottle of wine, appetizers etc. add up). We, of course, paid as we had said we would. I know these people and they're not opportunists--it's not like they deliberately chose an expensive place (it was their neighborhood and we had never been there before) to screw us out of anything, but...

Oh-another thing about this kid neighbor...he brings about 5 other friends on 4-wheelers on my hubby's property when he trespasses. This goes on too around 1 a.m. when we're in bed. You can hear them zoom by.

Remember that old man who got so fed up with his trespassing neighbors that he ended up shooting the kid when he ventured onto his property...Not that you should shoot this kid...

Can you stay up one night and videotape him doing this and then turn it over to the police?

myrosiedog: I agree. Ewwwwwwww!

That was actually me, misskitty.

[angelic_one2002]

Oh-another thing about this kid neighbor...he brings about 5 other friends on 4-wheelers on my hubby's property when he trespasses. This goes on too around 1 a.m. when we're in bed. You can hear them zoom by.

[ArchieComic Fan]

Lois Lane, In my experiences, I prefer to pay for my own meal (not split tickets in half as sometimes people get more than others) and I see no reason why anyone should ever feel offended for paying for their own share (not that anyone you know would be, just a generalization). Now I will go in on appetizers with people if we all share an appetizer or if you all share wine or beer, then of course chip in on that too. Sometimes the server can split appetizers up and include it on each person's ticket.

Right from the start, if the server doesn't ask, I say "this is separate checks". Being clear from the beginning saves the "who pays" problem later and avoids unneccessary embarrasment. If someone insists on picking up your check you can either politely keep declining and tell the server to give you your check (laughing at the same time to keep the mood light) or let them pay and say "next time we eat here, we'll pay" or "next time we pick the place we'll pay" that way you have some control.

[Lois Lane]

"next time we eat here, we'll pay" or "next time we pick the place we'll pay" that way you have some control.

Archie, that is a wonderful solution! That way, I can recipricate their kindness but, as you say, with some control over how much is spent!

Lois Lane - we've actually thought of trying to tape the kid in the "act"..but each night it's a somewhat different time. It's just so difficult to have a neighbor like this..everytime you pass their house, this kid gives you the evil eye. What a jerk.

Could you set a video camera up on a tripod and just have it record at the slow speed for six hours between 11 p.m. and 5 a.m.? Maybe you'll get lucky and catch him and at least some of his shenanigans on videotape? ugh. I feel for you. Having nasty neighbors is the worst! Good luck!

[angelic_one2002]

Lois Lane - we've actually thought of trying to tape the kid in the "act"..but each night it's a somewhat different time. It's just so difficult to have a neighbor like this..everytime you pass their house, this kid gives you the evil eye. What a jerk.

[ArchieComic Fan]

angelic, can you set up motion lights in the area you know he frequents? Maybe just a light suddenly coming on will scare him. He won't know that you aren't watching him. Also, have you talked to the parents? If you don't want to (or have but it hasn't worked), ask the police to go by their house and say "we've had complaints of kids using other people's property and we're just going around letting everyone know this is illegal and anyone caught will be prosecuted." This way it looks like the police are stopping by everyone's place and not singling them out.

[roseskid]

I have a neighbor who is really a nasty teenage kid. He's one that's kind of left to fend on his own a lot, and he is trespassing on mr. angelic's land with a 4-wheeler, and acting really defiant about it. mr. angelic told this kid to stay out of his field the other day, and now his business mailbox there at the site was smashed!

Yikes, that's crazy. :nono I used to ride off-road motorcycles, and Mr. Rose and I were riding out in the middle of a huge piece of property with some friends where a gate was wide open (I was younger, what can I say, but it really was uninhabited, i.e., no house or anything ). We weren't doing anything too terribly stupid (except trespassing ), when two cops came out of nowhere on four wheelers. Since the gate was open, they said they'd cut us some slack, but that the gate should have signaled to us that it was private property. We weren't mad at the owner, just embarrassed we got caught, and bummed we couldn't ride there since this was basically in the city. Now that I'm older, I wonder if there's an issue of liability for owners? Maybe Mr. Angel should think about it, and get the cops to chase him off. Of course, you'd probably need to put up cameras surrounding your property to catch him in his further acts of retaliation. After all this, I guess I'm no help, but think about the liability, as well as the irritating factor of this situation. Could you talk to his parents, or are they totally checked out? I just noticed ACF's post, and that's a good idea.

Any advice on how you all deal with this? I prefer to split bills down the middle but sometimes people are insistent on picking up the tab, which is very generous.

We recently met up with another couple and we had a pizza dinner. They picked up the tab: about $40. They wouldn't hear of having us put in any money. So, we said we'd pay the next time we went out to dinner. Well, the next dinner turned out to be quite expensive: about $170 (a bottle of wine, appetizers etc. add up). We, of course, paid as we had said we would. I know these people and they're not opportunists--it's not like they deliberately chose an expensive place (it was their neighborhood and we had never been there before) to screw us out of anything, but...

LL, going out to dinner can be tricky sometimes. Personally, I would never have a problem if separate checks were given. Even dining out with my in-laws (who I love) has been a problem. Mr. Rose and I took my m-i-l out for a birthday dinner with Mr. R's sister and husband. When we got there, they had brought their two adult children, then my m-i-l asked if I'd split her dinner choice with her, which I did. They also got a bottle of wine. The check came and the four of them and their wine, and our 1 1/2 meals were split in half. Neither of us felt like making a stink since it was a celebration, but really.

[angelic_one2002]

GREAT idea, ArchieComicFan..that way, it isnt singling any one particular kid out. I may suggest this to the authorities before it's all over. My hubby has a peach orchard out here, and he doesn't want some troublemaking kid like this retaliating by damaging his trees. There is a motion light at the property...but just along the lane where he rides. Sometimes we hear him go by at all hours..just wondering what he's up to. There's also a woods there, too.
roseskid - no, unfortunately this kid's parents are the kind who wouldn't care at all. The father of this kid is his step-dad, and he's about as immature acting as the kid.

[Muduh]

angelic, you could probably borrow one of those sport cameras from someone. You strap it to a tree and it must be activated by motion, because it records everything, day or night. My son has one and his is used to locate where deer frequent.

I can see why you are hesitant to say anything. Many times that just brings the person's wrath down on you. And, where I live, if you make a complaint, the police actually come to your door to verify that you are the complaintant(sp). Works real well if you're trying to get something done about the drunk next door.

[dagwood]

I have dirty neighbors, want to switch?

No thanks, I solved the cat problem.