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Thread: FORT Koffee Klatch

  1. #22321
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    In my teens-20s, I wasn't finished "doing me" yet, so having children was not an attractive idea, nor was marriage. It all seemed a bit more palatable in my 30s. We all know what we know because of our chosen experiences. I don't know what you all know about having children in my teens-20s because of my choices; you don't know what I feel I know about my wisdom of waiting. I don't understand waiting to have children in my 40s or older....I go to "WHO, in their right mind......???" Our experiences are what they are.

    When I did have my child, I totally appreciated the experience. I didn't feel like I had missed out on anything I might have needed to get out of the way. I liked starting late and finishing early. My only regret was that my mother didn't get to spend a lot of time with my son; she died when he was 3, but she got a total kick out of him in the time they had together.

    The only other grandchild was about 20 years older.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  2. #22322
    Live-Love-Laugh Fanny Mare's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I have no regrets, the children came along as was my life. Now, now its so good, I feel almost selfish..my granddaughter has two other grandmothers, each of us love her ( because she shouldn't be her) differently. No one grandmother is better than the other...

    My son is so fun at 43 to hang with, we may go away next year to Mexico with them!! I cannot wait..
    The average dog is a nicer person than the average person
    -Andy Rooney-

  3. #22323
    FORT Fogey nennie's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by NorwIndian View Post
    I had my kids young. Too young. I had my second child 3 months after I turned 19. I'm glad I had them young but I did it way too young. My daughter waited until she was 25 to have her kids. I had people tell me that she was too young but I don't think so.
    And yes, being a younger grandma is great! My grandkids other grandma is in her 70s. She's the "put your mittens on or you'll catch a cold" grandma and I'm the "lets go jump in puddles and get soaked" grandma. The other grandma doesn't like me too much. Oh well!
    I do try to talk the other grandma up to the kids though. If it was reversed, I'd be devastated if the kids preferred her over me. I try to keep saying good things about her so the kids will want to spend time with her too, which they really don't like doing.
    Per the bolded my grandkids other grandmother doesn't care for me much and of course my grandkids want to come to NahNah and Poppie's house not Grandee and Poppins. My youngest grandson called the the other grandparents NahNah and Poppie for a long time. You would have to know the other grandma. She is a control freak. Mine get to do what ever at my house.
    You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.

  4. #22324
    FORT Fan NorwIndian's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    The way I grew up, I never had the opportunity to "do me". I also never felt like I missed out on anything by having my kids. I never understood that mindset. Why would anybody miss out on anything just because they had kids young? I didn't miss out on anything and I made sure my kids didn't have the horrible childhood that I had.
    ~You can't buy love. But you can rescue it~

  5. #22325
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I guess I enjoyed having not to worry about anybody else's well-being, other than my own....no guilt for not spending enough time. I was totally ready for it when I did it. I was also blessed not to have had a horrible childhood.
    NorwIndian likes this.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  6. #22326
    Live-Love-Laugh Fanny Mare's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by prhoshay View Post
    I guess I enjoyed having not to worry about anybody else's well-being, other than my own....no guilt for not spending enough time. I was totally ready for it when I did it. I was also blessed not to have had a horrible childhood.
    I get that..each to their own
    The average dog is a nicer person than the average person
    -Andy Rooney-

  7. #22327
    FORT Fan NorwIndian's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I get that too, I guess I never looked at it from that point of view before.
    I love this place. I love that everybody can talk about anything. I enjoy hearing other peoples perspective on things.
    prhoshay and Cootie like this.
    ~You can't buy love. But you can rescue it~

  8. #22328
    Mr. (Not so) Perfect Snake 3D Champion, Bouncing Balls Champion
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Me too. I like all these different subforums within FORT. Honestly though sometimes I see myself pushing boundaries and risking getting in trouble.

  9. #22329
    FORT Fan NorwIndian's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Do you think you'll want kids one day JK?
    ~You can't buy love. But you can rescue it~

  10. #22330
    Best Buddies Gutmutter's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Love the expression "doing me"... I was seriously "doing me" in my teens and 20s also. I was almost 30 when I had my kids, but I loved every minute of it. I was a stay-at-home mom until my youngest started full-day kindergarten. Then I became a substitute teacher so I could have the same vacations as my kids and turn down jobs if my kids were sick. That eventually turned into a full time gig and I got my certification. The hardest time was when they were 3 young teens. I got divorced, had all 3 living with me, was working full time while getting my masters in early adolescent education, bought a house, and then got cancer. I paid my dues! Now they're all grown with jobs they love and I am incredibly happy with my little cottage and 3 cats with a little disposable income. There were some lean mac'n'cheese years in there. I'll tell you what, though. I gave my kids a great childhood. I'm proud of them all. No grandchildren yet, but they're all in their 20s.
    Count your blessings!

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