Have you ever done something so wrong you couldn't help but learn that lesson for life? When I was 19 I worked at a sandwich shop. It was new and they hadn't installed the safe yet so instead of putting money pulled from the register into the safe we would hide it in a drawer full of file folders. I had made a drop of $300. Later that night some friends came by. One asked if he could use the phone. It was in the office. I knew I shouldn't have but I let him anyways. When they all started to leave I ran to check that the drop was still there. I couldn't find it. Freaking out I ran outside. They had already backed up and were about to pull away when I flagged them down. I told the guy the money was missing. He kept telling me he didn't take it. He came back inside with me and sat in the chair and started looking through the files with me. After a few minutes we still didn't find it. I'm starting to cry and begging him to please just give the money back. He keeps trying to convince me he doesn't have it. I say, "Just give the money back and that will be the end of it. Otherwise I'm going to call the police." About that time I see something out of the corner of my eye and I turn to look and there is a police officer creeping down the hall towards us, starting to withdraw his weapon from his holster. (Yeah as upset as I was I could still appreciate how bad ass it was.) And I said, "Well they're here now." Then I looked at the officer, who was a regular customer of mine, and said, "C'mon in, we got a situation." I told him what was going on. Just having someone there, who was armed, and ready to defend me, calmed me down. He had seen the car outside, still backed up and ready to go, and decided to check it out. So having calmed down, and the guy still claiming he's innocent I look through the files for the hundredth time and there's the money. I have never felt so stupid. And guilty. When I've told people this story they always ask how pissed off was my friend at me. Honestly it wasn't so out of character for him so he really didn't get mad. I took the whole situation a lot harder then he did. Since then I have a hard time accusing someone of something even when I KNOW they did it. And I always listen to that little voice that says, "If you don't think you should do it then don't."
I'm having a hard time sleeping. Maybe it's guilt.