So do I. I used appreciate
So do I. I used appreciate
My comment really was not directed at you, FM! Your comment just brought a thought to mind.
I can't imagine having to train another one...
...nor can I imagine that there's another man on this planet who is able and/or willing to put up with me!
(I'm lucky to be married to my best friend. For me, that's enough to last a lifetime, come what may.)
We are having a music party this weekend. And a young girl asked my husband if we would have a husband for her. My husband and his childhood buddy just howled laughing. I believe it might not be too long before she gets one since she is putting those words into the universe.
The grass always appears greener I suppose.
I spent the first twenty years of my life alone, sharing a house with my parents notwithstanding. I did not care for it at all. I'm not social and I've always connected strongly with only one person at a time, and my preference is that one person be my husband.
I have had time to ponder the question.
My decades of solitude (not dating and not being married) was my security blanket. Because Mr. Right did not show up and say I am Mr. Right, I knew that it was not likely that I was going to have children by the end of my 40s. Perimenopause hormones plus financial security plus internet dating website changed my life to something totally different. And it changed my life so that it does not resemble what it once was. I have exchanged my security blankets. I am vegan. I do not like my feelings hurt. I could not deliberately hurt someone's feelings. All that can make one feel very vunerable. Security blanket one is very snuggly. But everyone on the planet has the power to be hurt as well as hurt. If we do not understand our gifts, we do not get to keep them. If newfherder was my son, I would tell him to just ask God daily for peace and he will have peace. And being so vunerable, I really have great love for all the women on the planet who have had the strength to love. God bless us all. In my altered life, I have found great love.
A relative my age who started dating a maybe four months back told me this weekend that she had broken up with him. And it was quite traumatizing. He appeared to be a very nice man. I know they both had the best intentions. But he would drink and he called her a whore who slept around (after four months and great hopes of her being the one). He took his baggage and smacked her in the face with it. And she literally slapped him in the face with her hand (whatever her baggage was called upon her to do that). And now she is very very wounded. She is like a size zero. I told her to tell him that it is not fair or right for him to accuse her of whatever his worst pain is in his life, that that is very painful. She told me that he would probably never talk to her again since she slapped him. As an outsider, I wish one of the two would deliver an apology, not so that they could be a couple, but so that they both know that it is going to be ok. If not, I could only think that that would happen again with different people.
So all in all, would I take the trip that I have taken? I could be sitting on my money pile with fewer gray hairs and the beautiful svelte body I had prior to marriage. Yes. I would. I am thankful to God for all that I have. Life is beautiful. Would I do it again if something if something happened to my husband? No. I simply do not have the courage; and I owe it to no one to find that type of courage. See paragraph two. We cannot guarantee another person's behavior. They have self esteem issues. And other people can create self esteem issues that did not exist in ourselves. For other people (not me) I think the answer is going to be whatever their biology tells them to do.
Says the biggest chicken
Be glad for your relative that she got out of that toxic relationship. The "courtship" is usually as good as it's going to get....and he's called her a whore??? When a person tells you who they are, BELIEVE THEM. He has shown himself. Good riddance to bad rubbish. She needs to count her blessings and move on. Do not wish him back into her life. There are worse things than being alone, and being with HIM would be at the top of the list. Help her love herself more.
Yeppers. After marriage, whatever is in the craw on both sides come out. Awe the freedom. :) That stuff was in there for two years. And I think that brings an improved understanding
My misspelling on the last post--vulnerable. I do not know why that did not glare at me.
I would hope that it would bring a refusal to tolerate treatment like that. It's just going to get worse and worse. If they see that you will take it, you really don't want to see what they will pile on after that. They've got to see that you will draw the line. You need to make them BELIEVE it by not taking it. It's not worth it just to be able to say that you have a man in your life.
Maybe I am misunderstanding what you are saying?