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Thread: FORT Koffee Klatch

  1. #18921
    FORT Fogey Lizard's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    "Up until recently, Yes."

    I am not sure. I guess we should be saying that we hope Newfherder is o.k.
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    You can do it!

  2. #18922
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    And there is woman heading up the CIA!!!
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    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

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  3. #18923
    FORT Fogey KatesMom's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by Newfherder View Post
    I have an odd question for y'all (all y'all?). Before I post it, let me assure you that (A) It is not as sinister as it seems, and (B) My answer is "Up until recently, yes."

    Suppose that there is a common activity that has a (roughly) 50% chance of ending in death. Would you participate? Any ideas as to what that activity is?
    Wow, so many possibilities. One interesting one I actually heard recently related to pregnancy after stillbirth (and I think the 50% related to the baby's death, not the mom's). If that is it, my answer would be yes.

  4. #18924
    Resident curmudgeon Newfherder's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Newfherder is fine I let my mind wander the other day, and the posted question is what it dragged in from the swamp that is my mind.

    Miss Scarlett is on the right track. About 50% of all marriages end in divorce, so that leaves 50% that end in "until death do us part." The only reason that I would no long consider marriage is that about 15 months ago, my fiancée died and the pain that caused goes on and on. It is a pain that I do not want to feel again, and a pain that I do not want to inflict upon another. I suppose that I might miss out on a wonderful relationship with someone new, but since I am perfectly happy living alone, and since it took 10 years for me to find Vicky after my previous relationship ended, that possibility is more abstract than real.
    "The road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair, even though they both lead to the same destination."
    --Marion Zimmer Bradley

  5. #18925
    Go Teams! inthegarden's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I understand your thoughts Newfherder, our minds do take us to the swamp every now and then. I've wandered around in that same area of the swamp and came to this conclusion for myself. I could be completely happy either place alone or with someone else. The key for me would be, if I was with someone else, would they accept my need for alone time and are they someone that I would enjoy being around 24/7. I don't think I would set my mind to one option or the other but rather see what happened.
    Pain is an expected emotion when something or someone that we love is taken away. I would say for me, the time spent was treasured regardless of the length. So having felt a similar type of pain, for me... Yes, I would be willing to experience the pain of loss again to also be able to experience the love.
    Last edited by inthegarden; 03-28-2013 at 12:32 PM.
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  6. #18926
    FORT Fogey I'm here's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Ahhh... the better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all comment. I am always torn when it comes to that. I really don't know how I really feel about that. Having been in mad mad love... and lost had to be the worst kind of pain imaginable... but to find love again.... best kind of happiness.

    its the craziest emotional roller coaster ride EVER!!!
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  7. #18927
    FORT Fogey KatesMom's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    You know, I think the answer is different for different people. I know one person who felt as Nerf did, and she has not regretted her decision a day in her life. Her husband committed suicide when their 5 kids were young and she turned her focus to raising her kids the best way that she could. She never wanted another man after her husband. And she has never regretted it (and she is almost 80). I have known others that have made that decision and then lived with regret. So I really think that's it - make the decision that you can live with without regret.

    I know for me personally, I am married to my second husband, who I adore. But if he were to leave, I don't think I would get married again. I would have men in my life and I would love, but I don't think I would ever make "that" commitment with another man.

  8. #18928
    Go Donny! Gutmutter's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by Newfherder View Post
    Newfherder is fine I let my mind wander the other day, and the posted question is what it dragged in from the swamp that is my mind.

    Miss Scarlett is on the right track. About 50% of all marriages end in divorce, so that leaves 50% that end in "until death do us part." The only reason that I would no long consider marriage is that about 15 months ago, my fiancée died and the pain that caused goes on and on. It is a pain that I do not want to feel again, and a pain that I do not want to inflict upon another. I suppose that I might miss out on a wonderful relationship with someone new, but since I am perfectly happy living alone, and since it took 10 years for me to find Vicky after my previous relationship ended, that possibility is more abstract than real.
    Good one! You had me stumped.
    Count your blessings!

  9. #18929
    FORT Fogey Miss Scarlet's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I'm one of the 50% that got divorced. That itself is a miserable, painful, gutwrenching, demoralizing thing to go through, even if you know it's necessary. The bad marriage did enough damage by itself. The divorce seemed to suck out what little self esteem I had left. At that point I was just plain ashamed about every thing about myself.

    When it was finally over I felt I had to get confident in myself & start liking myself again. So I rebuilt my life by myself & found out that there's a huge difference between being alone & lonliness. You don't have to be alone to be lonely. I was lonley in my marriage. But being alone doesn't bring lonliness either. It brings peace, tranquility, control, contentment, if you let it.

    I'm not afraid or opposed to ever marrying again, but I'm not looking for it either. If it happens it happens, if it doesn't it doesn't. I'm happy either way because I CHOSE to be happy.
    The only difference now is that if love & marriage show up, I won't relinquish control of myself. If a guy doesn't want me exactly the way I am, & I want him exactly the way he is, then it just won't happen. That's the difference now: I don't NEED it. I'm happy already. But I'm open to being happy with someone too.

    Loss & death are an unfortunate necessity of life. We just have to keep moving forward & appreciate what we still have.
    "Is this Heaven? No, it's Iowa. --Field of Dreams--"

  10. #18930
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by Newfherder View Post
    Newfherder is fine I let my mind wander the other day, and the posted question is what it dragged in from the swamp that is my mind.

    Miss Scarlett is on the right track. About 50% of all marriages end in divorce, so that leaves 50% that end in "until death do us part." The only reason that I would no long consider marriage is that about 15 months ago, my fiancée died and the pain that caused goes on and on. It is a pain that I do not want to feel again, and a pain that I do not want to inflict upon another. I suppose that I might miss out on a wonderful relationship with someone new, but since I am perfectly happy living alone, and since it took 10 years for me to find Vicky after my previous relationship ended, that possibility is more abstract than real.
    Very good post my friend. Maybe a newf will fall into your lap like I ended up with Trouble just about a year ago.
    - The Dean Martin Show -

    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

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