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Thread: FORT Koffee Klatch

  1. #18361
    Live-Love-Laugh Fanny Mare's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by pikachu View Post
    It's amazing how nosy and judgemental people can be, like if your life doesn't follow X-Y-Z order (graduate high school, get a job, go to college, get married, have kids, etc), they treat you like a freak and have a right to question you on why you're bucking the natural order of things.

    Sometimes life doesn't play out like you planned it to or maybe you chose to follow a different path. I don't see why it's anyone else's business, as long as you're not hurting anyone else. You shouldn't have to come up with some legitimate explanation for why you don't have kids or don't have pets.

    I have relatives that are very judgemental. They don't come right out and say they don't approve of me but from their tone and the questions they ask, it's apparent they see me as lacking in something. It hurts me that they can't just accept me as I am.
    I am sorry they hurt you. They have no right.Its your life, to do as you want. My daughter doesn't want to marry, she doesn't want children and never has, and she no longer takes any guff when asked why?? Have you ever asked them, why cant you accept for me for me? sometimes it takes a question like that to have them think about themselves, and why they ask what they do.
    The average dog is a nicer person than the average person
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  2. #18362
    FORT Fogey Debb70's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    People's ignorance can be hurtful. I say be blunt and let them deal with it. If they are are rude enough to inquire why someone does not have kids, they deserve whatever answer they get. lol

  3. #18363
    FORT Fogey nennie's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I know a lot of people who shouldn't have procreated. My niece was one of them. My sister and I are raising her grandchildren. I wouldn't have it any other way but you don't know what you miss if you don't have it. I would have never allowed these children to be put in foster care as long as I was able to care for them.

    The percentage of people raising children that are grandkids/nieces/nephews or other where I live is astronomical and has become an epidemic. My sister works for a cable company and the amount of people she talks to that are raising their grandkids is unbelievable.

    Here's what I say to them.....Don't have kids if you aren't going to raise them......get fixed.
    Ellen likes this.
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  4. #18364
    FORT Fogey justCoz's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I thought humor could be another response method if forthright is difficult. In my case I've told people I can barely take care of myself, so more kids isn't a good idea. Or I tell them I forget to feed myself sometimes even if it doesn't look it. My poor kid has occasionally told me at 10 pm that we haven't had supper yet! I use self-deprecating humor all the time to explain my flighty behavior. I always say I'm ditzy today, hoping they don't notice 'today' is really everyday

  5. #18365
    FORT Fogey Lil Bit's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I can never understand why someone would ask another person such a personal question in the first place. My daughter would love to have a baby and she would be an outstanding mother, but she has fertility issues. This is something she is dealing with and she is weighing her options, but she shouldn't have to explain any of this to anyone that she doesn't choose to just because they think they "need" to know. It's no different for someone who has made the choice to not be a parent. Having said that, I don't know what the proper response to such a question is. I guess for me, I'd just be blunt and tell the person that my reproductive choices are none of their business. Maybe if they get enough rude responses to their rude question they will eventually take the hint?
    Ellen, pikachu, burntbrat and 2 others like this.
    History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people. Martin Luther King, Jr.

  6. #18366
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by Spoose View Post
    I'm hoping there are some FORTers out there that can offer some support and advice.

    We both love kids and enjoy our nieces and nephews to death, but neither of us has an extremely strong urge to parent. We enjoy our freedom and our ability to jet off on a last minute holiday or enjoy each other in peace and quiet. And we LOVE our dogs



    My Facebook page is full of updates from new mom's to be and comments from other friends saying that "Oooohhhh, congrats!! Being a mommy is the BEST thing in the world!". I'm very comfortable with our decision and know our lives will be full with each other, our careers, dogs, hobbies, and community activities. But a small part of me wonders if I'll regret it in 10 years when it'll be too late.

    So I guess I'm wondering...are there any childless and happy FORTers willing to give some advice?? Do you (or have you ever) regretted your decision to remain childless? Do you have a good response to the inevitable questions? How do you deal with or prevent losing friends because their lives revolve around their children and yours doesn't? Do you know of any websites and/or books that address the "Yes, I AM happy to be childless" topic? Thanks everyone!

    As I've gone through life I've seen many happy families, unhappy ones, both childless and with one through many children. I had a pretty carefree childhood, knew we were rather poor but it didn't affect me as a kid as far as I know. But duringthe course of growing up I realized two things - 1) I liked being alone and had no desire to be coupled and 2) As a kid I didn't even like kids. I had many friends with families who had kids that I spoiled because they were good people and appreciative. (unlike my sisters two who in 1980 something - upon opening their Christmas cards and seeing the $20.00 both said - Is that all?)

    I have had felines and canines growing up and when on my own I had/have my kids Timmy the Tabby, Mona THE LOOK Tabby, Joey my White & Black fella and now Ms. Trouble the two tooth 13 1/2 yr old sweetheart I adopted 7 months ago. I havea great career, good family, great people I work with who I consider my friends and a nice apartment. I don't miss being "coupling" since I have no desire, I certainly do not miss having human kids. The that work in my Department are all in their mid 20's - low 30's and either have kids that range from a few months to 10 years - I enjoy their sucesses and times.

    When asked (which doesn't happen much anymore) why I am not married/seeing anyone or don't I miss not having that/kids - I say Not at all - I have a great life and love being alone with Trouble. If they continue to pry I repeat.
    ClosetRTWatcher and Debb70 like this.
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  7. #18367
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I almost passed out when I logged onto FoRT today and it was back!! Or was it just me that was off track?? We go through this about once/year, don't we? All things considered, I guess that's not too bad!
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  8. #18368
    FORT Fogey PGM35's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by prhoshay View Post
    I almost passed out when I logged onto FoRT today and it was back!! Or was it just me that was off track?? We go through this about once/year, don't we? All things considered, I guess that's not too bad!
    I tried to post in one thread and it kept giving me an error - thought it was just me - had no idea they whole site was down. Glad it's fixed!

  9. #18369
    FORT Fogey Lil Bit's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I had trouble too. Some threads would show up and others just gave me an error message.
    History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people. Martin Luther King, Jr.

  10. #18370
    FORT Fogey Miss Scarlet's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by Lil Bit View Post
    I had trouble too. Some threads would show up and others just gave me an error message.
    Darned near every time I clicked on a thread or page, the error message came up. When I refreshed the page it came up just fine. After after about a half a dozen times, I just gave up.
    I, too, thought it was my computer, & I was on the good computer.
    Glad it wasn't.
    "Some of us learn from other people's mistakes and the rest of us have to be other people."

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