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Is he asking/she expecting romance out of the situation? I didn't get that from your original post. If not, why does it matter? If so... boy, do I have recent experience in that field. Old college boyfriend half the country away reconnects, long phone calls and e-mails, finally a visit and NO! Just NO! Yikes!Then trying to extricate myself was sticky and icky.
This relates to the qustion I have, too. What has their long distance relationship been about? If it's been 2 years of e-mails, phone calls and FB chats it's not as if he's leading her on. Even if it involved a hot Internet flirtation, it would not preclude either one of them from dating or having a "real life" relationship with somone else. Most of those type of connections have a shelf life. You need real face-to-face contact for an intimate relationship to develop. If it hasn't led to actual meetings in all this time, I would not expect it to.Originally Posted by gutmutter
So, that's my question. Do they ever get together in real life? Has she spent money on plane fare and lodging and vacation time to visit with him? Has he made similar commitments of time and expense to keep the connection growing? If not, I would say it's a no harm/no foul situation. They were not dating in any real sense, and the expection of full disclosure about their relationship histories would not be realistic.
My other question: did she think he was married during the two years they've been in touch? Did he lead her to believe that? If that's the case, it wouldn't matter to me what his reasons were for this deception. I would keep him at arms length emotionally.
From what I know, they were high school sweethearts. He sought her out a couple of years ago, and they have been in touch ever since, with her thinking that he was married. He would come to town and try to invite himself over to her house, but she would make excuses since she did not believe in "keeping company" with married men. Got to give her respect on that one...and I think there is disappointemnt on her part to find out that he's been divorced all of that time, when they could have been having face time.
I think I tend to agree with you about keeping him at arm's length.
Since you asked the question, I need more answers. LOL Did she ever ASK him or mention a wife and he lied about having one? OR did she just assume some things and never questioned him flat out? So he didn't lie or come clean b/c it never came up. Can't fault the guy. Either you ask the question or not. Are you married or not? It probably never occured to him that she thought he was still hitched. Or maybe I am way off base here.
Point being, this doens't mean he had ulterior motives. Maybe it was safer if she thought he was married. Like he didn't have to commit or start dating or whatever. Maybe he didn't think it was important to their relationship til now. Just brainstorming here.
She met his wife years ago. He had been married 20 years, I think, before he divorced. She met the wife when they dropped by her house quite a while ago, while she was also married. They have a long history of knowing each other, with lots of mutual friends, so yes, he was definitely married. They were very close high school sweeties; she always thought of him as "the one who got away", and he always kept in touch with her! It's been interesting, that's for sure.
I'm looking for feedback from anyone who uses the Wii for exercise. I just got the system and Wii Fit Plus. I have several dance programs coming in the mail (Just Dance 3, Black Eyed Peas, Broadway Musicals). I was shocked at how judgemental the Wii Fit program is!! I've never played video games in my life and my knees just can't do some things. It has my avatar falling to the ground weeping if I don't butt enough soccer balls with my head. It also made my avatar fat after it weighed me for the first time (balance board) and figured out my BMI. What if I want to visualize myself thin? I'm going to try some more today and re-read the manuals to see what I'm missing. Does anyone have the sports program? Others that you really like? I'm not interested in playing games, just exercise/dance ones.
I don' t have the system so I can't offer any help. I will say a friend of mine was complaining about the same thing. It does sound quite judgemental. It's so odd to me they made it that way. I don't see how that in any way would be helpful. Who approved of it being programmed like that? It seems to me that it would be discouraging no matter how you look at it. I would think they'd be more likely to sell mores games if they didn't insult the customers. I think I'm glad now I didn't get the system. I don't need help having low self esteem.
Eta: I just told my husband about the program. He laughed and said it sounded great. Must have been guys making and approving the sales. Now it makes more sense. They apparently didn't do a test group with someone like me.
Anyone ever been to pinterest.com? A great way to web surf if you are tired of the same old sites. It is sort of a blog portal. Take all the great cooking/crafts lifestyle portals and put them on one page.
Here is one idea I'm going to do: Get a empty jar, write 2012 on it. Throughout the year, write down memories that make you smile. On New Year's Eve, open and re-read all of the good stuff that made the year wonderful.
I love Pinterest! My daughters turned me on to it. I love the happy memories idea. I have a really cool "secret box" book that I'm going to put mine into. My daughters ridicule me because I only have one category that I pin things into, but I don't have that many things in it. Question: how do you pin something there for the first time (not re-pinning someone else's)?
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