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Thread: FORT Koffee Klatch

  1. #17151
    FORT Fogey
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Last Thanksgiving when I was in a back brace and could not cook a holiday meal, hubby and I ordered "Thanksgiving for Two" from a local supermarket. It cost us $20 and we even had leftovers!! It was delicious, albeit a little more salty than what I am supposed to consume. The thought of preparing a big holiday meal when you get "older" or when you've been injured is overwhelming. If we don't get together with friends and/or family this year, I suspect we will do the same. Cooking does get "old" after a while. Just my humble opinion and experience....

  2. #17152
    Best Ever Pool Runner Angry Birds Champion, Rancho Ice Racer Champion pikachu's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I hear you! Personally, I prefer going out to a buffet or getting food prepared from a restaurant for holidays like Thanksgiving or Easter so I can spend more time enjoying being with my friends and family and less time away from them getting food ready in the kitchen. Holiday stress can make such get-togethers unpleasant so why put yourself through that?

    There's nothing wrong with preparing a big meal from scratch or having your guests each bring a dish but there's no reason to feel guilty or like you're letting your guests down if you don't make everything yourself.

    Gutmutter: I understand your frustration, however when you have houseguests who have special dietary requirements, it can make things difficult. Maybe your mom was just trying to make dishes that the majority of people could eat. True, she could have included some vegetable dishes because even non-vegetarians might have appreciated those.

    I guess in the future if you're going to be staying with her for a while, you could maybe discuss your dietary needs with her beforehand and go shopping with her at the start of your stay to make sure you'll have foods in the house you can eat. Hopefully after a while she'll understand this is a lifestyle for you, not just some kooky fad diet. If she doesn't, perhaps you should skip her get-togethers for the holidays and go with friends or family who will be more accomodating to your dietary needs.

    I know it's not easy when a family member doesn't accept something that's important to you but it's hard to change how another person thinks and acts. Good luck!
    Last edited by pikachu; 07-07-2011 at 04:53 PM.
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  3. #17153
    FORT Fogey GuardianAngel's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    My mother would be very angry with me if I showed up, and wouldn't eat the food she prepared because I didn't tell her that I was on a certain diet. She would also be very angry if I brought my own food. She would never hear any of that. She'll be 80yrs old next year.

    One of the joys of being a mother is feeding my son. A mother IMO would do anything to feed their child. Everytime my son comes over, I'm always looking for food that I can give him. Whether it be chicken breasts I got on sale, something I baked and put in the freezer or whatever. He's 29 yrs old, the feeling of giving never gets old IMO. It would have taken Gut's mother, a half an hour to saute a bunch of veggies, or make a fruit salad or both.

    I don't understand why Gut's mother wouldn't want to make her happy instead of doing the exact opposite.

  4. #17154
    Best Ever Pool Runner Angry Birds Champion, Rancho Ice Racer Champion pikachu's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by GuardianAngel View Post
    I don't understand why Gut's mother wouldn't want to make her happy instead of doing the exact opposite.
    Sometimes it's just a control issue. The parent doesn't want to admit that their son/daughter is an adult, capable of making their own decisions, and insists on doing things the way they always did them when they were child. Kind of like mother/father knows best.
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  5. #17155
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by pikachu View Post
    Sometimes it's just a control issue. The parent doesn't want to admit that their son/daughter is an adult, capable of making their own decisions, and insists on doing things the way they always did them when they were child. Kind of like mother/father knows best.
    Some parents try to be controlling for as long as they live. Been there, done that. It is up to the adult child to put a stop to the control.....but it is a long and hard road.
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  6. #17156
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I can't tell you how grateful I am to hear all the pros and cons on this issue. Just to be clear (I don't want anyone here to think badly of me) - My mom was a home ec major in college and loves to cook when we all come home. She still gives dinner parties... so it isn't an "off duty" issue and I don't "expect" chef and maid service when I'm home. I was very excited when I started this diet/lifestyle and was sharing the details in group e-mails to my sisters and mom. My mom had talked recently with a friend who is vegan and had talked about becoming one herself. So it isn't like the concept wasn't clear or I was expecting to be served all my food by a personal chef. I anticipated needing to supply most of my own food and got up early in the morning before anyone was awake so I could prepare my meals for the day without being in the way when the kitchen was in use by everyone else. My mom is a master gardener and there were 3 kinds of lettuce, swiss chard, green onions, and other vegetables growing in her garden, so a green salad with a meal would not have been a stretch.

    Let me also add that in the past all 3 of us daughters have compared notes about how we have to "sneak" food when she's at our house or we're at hers - and have done so all our lives - because she's very critical about our eating habits. That's why I thought she would support this effort of mine to lose weight. She's always telling us how fat we are.
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  7. #17157
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Gut -- I've always believed in not rocking the boat too hard when it comes to parents' behavior, unless it is abusive, harmful, etc. There were lots of things I didn't agree with in my parents' philosophies about life, money, child rearing, food, etc. etc. In the end I realized you get one set of parents and when they're gone, they're gone. I learned to tolerate (and sometimes) ignore my parents' rants about this or the other thing as it related to my husband, myself, and my children. I could give you a lot of examples, but it is a moot point. Each of us has good and bad qualities; you have to take both as they come and just "deal with it." As you well know, being angry and hanging on to it does no good. You are far too intelligent for that. Hope this helps.

  8. #17158
    Best Ever Pool Runner Angry Birds Champion, Rancho Ice Racer Champion pikachu's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Gut--Your mom reminds me of my dad's parents, especially his mother. My sister and I hated to go visit them when we were little because they did nothing but nag all of us about our weight (even my dad who was very tall and skinny!), yell at us about having our elbows on the table and our feet on the couch, and criticize every little thing we did. My sister gave up on my grandparents and refused to go see them when she got older. I took a different tack and went to stay with them for a week. I had a couple of talks with my grandma about how I perceived her behavior being toward my sister and I and she was genuinely surprised. After that, she and my grandpa treated me with respect and I felt like we had come to an understanding.

    Maybe the same thing wouldn't work for you since there's a difference with it being a parent treating you that way, someone you grew up with, instead of a grandparent, who you only saw occasionally while growing up. I think the most important thing is not to sneak around with what you're doing because that makes it seem like you're doing something bad. Your mother has to accept you as you are. You don't have to work so hard to please her all the time.

    The next time mom criticizes your eating habits, perhaps you should tell her how it makes you feel when she says things like that or flatly acknowledge that her opinion has been noted and change the subject. With any luck, after not getting the emotional response she wants from you, she'll stop giving unsolicited advice.
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  9. #17159
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I agree with both of the above posts. I have already put it behind me, but did want to clarify because of all the comments here. I only travel back to Ohio about once a year, normally. Last year I took several trips there because I had planned to move in to help my mom, and then that didn't work out and I had to bring stuff back. So it's all good now. That's why I prefaced my original post by saying I just wanted a little whiney vent. I knew it was petty, but my feelings were hurt.

    So! Next topic?
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  10. #17160
    Best Ever Pool Runner Angry Birds Champion, Rancho Ice Racer Champion pikachu's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    It's the weekend, or just about! Anyone have any special plans?

    I'm glad we got Monday off so we had a shorter workweek, although usually the week doesn't seem as short when we have Monday off as opposed to having Friday off. I actually like it best when we get a day off in the middle of the week because that gives you two short work periods--work two days, get a day off...work another two days, get two days off.

    I wish I could take two weeks (or longer!) off from work sometime. I usually only take a week off when I go on vacation and I feel like it's only at the end of the trip that I'm finally starting to relax. The first few days of vacation, I still wake up at the same time and the last few days I'm already dreading my time off coming to an end.

    Does anyone else ever feel like that on Sundays? I feel like I can't relax because I keep thinking I have to be back at work tomorrow.

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