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Thread: FORT Koffee Klatch

  1. #16421
    Over and Out! Bunny555's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Thanks Columbia. I am far from being a prude and I have always been very open and honest when discussing sex and it's consequences with my children. I do not want them to think that they can make a careless decision and think that Mom will be there to make it all go away. They have known this since they were old enough to have "the talk".
    Quote Originally Posted by Gutmutter;4137293;
    do I support my child through this so they can continue to further their education or do I make them pay for their mistakes?
    I would still expect them to further their education. Anything less would be unacceptable. They know the consequences.
    Last edited by Bunny555; 01-03-2011 at 09:53 AM.

  2. #16422
    FORT Fogey GuardianAngel's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    If I had a daughter in that position, as much as its not the situation that I'd want her to be in, she would be living at home and continuing her education. She's going into high school? She must be 15 or so? My neice is an early childhood educator who looks after children specific to teen mom's. They go to school, drop their children off before classes, and picks them up after school.

    So there's no reason why she can't continue to live her life normally, expect now she has responsibility towards this child. What about the father of the child? Are there any arrangements for supporting this baby? If her parents aren't supportive, she must then find a place to live and raise this child on her own?

    As far as adopting, your son is only 18 yrs old, she is also very young, there's no need to adopt at this point. Who's to say they will have a lasting relationship, IMO its far to soon to even think of adopting. I don't see what the point is in parents adopting the child unless the mother was not capable of raising the child, drugs etc.

    If they are dating at this point, then I would imagine the baby would be visiting your home? If my son was in this position, and his g/friend had a baby with someone else, I would welcome her and the baby as I would anyone else. If that's his decision to date her, then I'm fine with it. What ever happens in the relationship, its all life lessons. The baby has nothing to do with what's happened and deserves to be loved like any other baby. IMO

  3. #16423
    Over and Out! Bunny555's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Hi GuardianAngel,

    This is a girl that my son "dated" in middle school. She is now 18 0r 19. Her situation doesn't really involve us but it did prompt a discussion. I was really heartbroken that she wasn't at the graduation ceremony because she was giving birth at such a young age. I brought this topic up because I wonder how other parents would feel if their child was in this position.

  4. #16424
    FORT Fogey Lil Bit's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    My kids are all past that age, but if my child was in that position I would do all I could to love and support them. And I would never turn my back on my child or grandchildren, no matter what their situation was.
    angelic_one2002 likes this.
    History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people. Martin Luther King, Jr.

  5. #16425
    FORT Fogey GuardianAngel's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Bunny: Oops, thanks for clarifying!

  6. #16426
    Over and Out! Bunny555's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by Lil Bit;4137339;
    My kids are all past that age, but if my child was in that position I would do all I could to love and support them. And I would never turn my back on my child or grandchildren, no matter what their situation was.
    I agree about supporting your children but if they are adult children, I don't feel that their careless actions should be someone else's responsibiliy.

  7. #16427
    Miz Smarty Britches queenb's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I don't even have kids, but a couple of my relatives have been in this position. I frankly think keeping the baby is, at least in the situations I've seen, a decision made with the heart, not the head, and it rarely seems to be what's best for the baby to me. I don't know why more people who are in this situation don't encourage their girls to let someone who desparately wants a child adopt. Surely they can't really think it's better for the baby, or even for the young mother in the long run. I also think the adoptions where the bio-mother stays in touch are a really bad idea, for reasons to numerous to talk about here . Notice I didn't say "force their daughters to give up"- I just think stronger persuasion than letting the girls make up their mind with no or little parental input is in order. I bolded my qualifiers so everyone doesn't jump on me at once!
    I have found the Truth and it doesn't make sense.

  8. #16428
    FORT Fogey
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    It is my opinion that any young, unwed teenager who finds herself in this situation should be made to talk to someone else who has had a child under these circumstances and kept her child. She should spend a few days observing the kind of life the young mother has. She would quickly find out how many of them are sorry for the decisions they made, and what kind of he** they are living in -- trying to go to school or work, trying to care for a child on their own in addition. I believe it would be a sober awakening, and would raise the rate of adoption.

    I also do not believe in an adopted child contacting his/her birth parents. I have witnessed this situation and it is a disaster for all concerned. Just my opinion..........

    I wonder if this would make a good thread for "Current Events." Just a thought............

  9. #16429
    Fort Regular angelic_one2002's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by Columbia, MD;4137591;
    It is my opinion that any young, unwed teenager who finds herself in this situation should be made to talk to someone else who has had a child under these circumstances and kept her child. She should spend a few days observing the kind of life the young mother has. She would quickly find out how many of them are sorry for the decisions they made, and what kind of he** they are living in -- trying to go to school or work, trying to care for a child on their own in addition. I believe it would be a sober awakening, and would raise the rate of adoption.

    I also do not believe in an adopted child contacting his/her birth parents. I have witnessed this situation and it is a disaster for all concerned. Just my opinion..........
    I wonder if this would make a good thread for "Current Events." Just a thought............
    While contacting one's own birth parents might not be advised for all, I do think it is alright for those who want to do so if mature enough to handle it. I definitely feel it is a natural desire to meet or to discover who one's biological/birth mother or father..at some point in the adopted child's life.
    Last edited by angelic_one2002; 01-03-2011 at 05:24 PM.
    "At the beach, life is different. Time doesn't move hour to hour but mood to moment. We live by the currents, plan by the tides, and follow the sun." - anonymous

  10. #16430
    FORT Fogey Dragonlady's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by Bunny555;4137272;
    My 18 year old son and I had a chat yesterday about all the changes and milestones we experienced in 2010. He graduated from High School in June and I brought up the fact that his first girl friend (in 8th grade) missed the ceremony because she was giving birth (Not to his child!). He knew that this upset me ever since he told me the news and said that most of his friends Mom's said that if it was their child was in the same position, they would happily welcome and maybe even adopt the child. I was floored by this!!! Am I crazy?? I will not accept either of my children becoming parents at this age nor will I adopt their children. If they think they are mature enough to have sex then they better have a plan as to how they are going to support any children as a result of that.. I feel like I'm living in a cave and the world has gone mad....Is it just me??
    I'm in agreement with you on this. I'm so glad those years of worrying are long gone for me and my kids.
    But I do think teens already know what their parents' reactions will be, if that happens. They know who will accept them, the child and support them and who will expect them to deal with their own consequences. It's too bad that adoption is not a choice for so many young teens, like it used to be. It's not an ideal situation but it might be the best thing for the baby.

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