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Thread: FORT Koffee Klatch

  1. #15811
    FORT Fogey
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Thanks, nennie. I forget some are not familiar with that terminology!!

  2. #15812
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Had a bizzare dream. My dream was that I was asleep, but had awakened to see a lot of little and various size turtles migrating out of my bedroom towards the open doors...one leads to the hallway and one leads to the bathroom. My gurls were only looking...as usual...and not doing anything. I hate those things so I definitely wouldn't get up....turtle claws(?) creep me out if they touch me. I have no idea where they were coming from, but it appeared to be from under the bed. WTH was that about???? It wasn't scary, just creepy.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

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  3. #15813
    Go Teams! inthegarden's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Maybe your troubles were walking out the door.
    and my thoughts on your friend... Since they have known each other for a long time and are familiar with each others lives... they are at different life levels. She thinks he needs to be more focused on his feelings and the feelings of others around him. He likes to 'safe' talk about his travels, makes him feel important, interesting and the center of attention. He thinks she should be more adventurous and encourages her to travel. If they can't find common ground, maybe they just need to be coffee drinking friends.

  4. #15814
    Best Buddies Gutmutter's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    It is basic male/female brain differences. Women have more connecting thingies between the right and left brain which allow them to access emotions and verbalize them. Men are more conquest-oriented. I did a research paper on this in my graduate program. I still say that if that is her only complaint, she's being too picky.
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  5. #15815
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Too picky? Personally, I hate that phrase, but do you really want to be with somebody that you don't feel you can talk to? She is very verbal. She would be miserable if she couldn't converse with her SO.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  6. #15816
    Best Buddies Gutmutter's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Well, I don't know them, but some women get thrown off by some arbitrary bar they've set too high, and don't give a guy a chance if he doesn't clear it. If they really can't talk, then no - not a good match. But expecting guys to talk about their emotions is just not wired into their brains.
    Count your blessings!

  7. #15817
    Miz Smarty Britches queenb's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I agree, Gutmutter. Most men do not like to talk about feelings and emotions, but use 'code'. Talking about where he's been may be his 'code' to let her know his feelings. As an example of this kind of thinking, I didn't do research, but correct me if I'm wrong...At 78 years old my Dad has just now started mentioning how he FEELS about things, or what he hopes for, etc. But all my life, every single time he calls, he asks "How is your car running, no problems with it" and "Is everything OK with your house". This is even if the car is three weeks old! It's obvious to me, "the car" and "the house" questions are areally asking if anything is going wrong with ME. He knows that if I did have a problem with anything like that and needed help, I'd still call and ask him if he knew what was going on.
    I have found the Truth and it doesn't make sense.

  8. #15818
    FORT Fogey PGM35's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I agree - my SO right now doesn't like to "talk" but I've learned to work around that. LOL I just got him to start listening to a semi-talk country radio station and every day I ask him what they were talking about. He gets so excited to tell me things that I already know (but don't tell him) from seeing them all day long on FB or Twitter or News links. Since he is not on the computer, he only gets his news from the radio. Hence, although he always said he hates talk radio, he enjoys listening to it so we can talk about things later.

    My dad also does that when we talk (rarely!) on the phone. He asks about my car, the dogs, Mike, everything else in my life but me, even though I know he is really only concerned about me. Also if I haven't called home in a while, he'll tell my mother to call me instead of calling me himself. Funny but that is how he is.

  9. #15819
    Dreamer VelvetRed's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    queenb, that's a really good point/observation.

    I'm reminded of that saying "Don't tell me, show me!" and conversely, how it's pretty common that some men will show love for someone in their own way, without being verbal about it (which is something that many women want and expect). Women, generally, tend to be more verbal than men and want the same in a partner.

    It's really pretty interesting because even amongst women and other friends who aren't lovers, there are sometimes huge communication breakdowns about what was said/written and what was meant. It's all about perception and not trying to read between the lines. Mediators will ask "what did you intend by what you said?" or "what was your intent?". It's worse with written communication, I think, because the tendency is to read "tone" into it, and there is no body language, no facial expressions, and no tone of voice.

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  10. #15820
    FORT Fogey nennie's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I have been married to a non talker for 39 years and he has just now got the want to talk bug. Men are wired so different and to get one on our emotional level probably isn't going to happen for most women. My philosophy is if you find a man that is good to you, supports and takes care of you and is a rock in the middle of the storm then work around those things that bother you.

    Maybe this couple could encourage each other in their interests and find the common ground somewhere in the middle.

    JMO

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