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Thread: FORT Koffee Klatch

  1. #15401
    Bitten Critical's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    MRD, I think people say things like "You're so strong." because they don't want to think about the fact that maybe you aren't doing so well. It makes them feel better. Maybe it's the idea that if they say you're strong, you WILL be

    You're dealing with a lot of change all at once. You're allowed to take some time to deal with it and adjust and figure out what your life is going to be. It sounds like you have some good friends there and you know you have lots of shoulders here to lean on and we don't mind if you're not feeling so strong

    I'm sure one of the hardest parts is not having your babies with you. Do you know when you'll be able to bring them down?
    Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.' - Isaac Asimov

    I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, "... I drank what?"

  2. #15402
    Premium Member canuckinchile's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    What Crit said. Plus, people just don't know what to say sometimes. The amount of life change you have had puts you off the charts on the stress level. I'm glad to hear that you got out of the house and went out with friends. Sometimes you have to force yourself to do those things, and I think it helps for the most part. Keep venting here, and I really hope the job doesn't suck as much as you think it will.

    On a somewhat different (but same) note, a friend of mine has an autistic child who has severe eating issues, and has done for a number of years. They have tried everything. EVERYTHING. Last week, they were at a teaching hospital, so needed to go through the resident before seeing the specialist familiar with their case. She asked them if they had tried feeding her chicken My friend said she thought her husband was going to lose his mind. People just say the darnedest things at times.

  3. #15403
    I won't forget Cootie's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by myrosiedog;4038505;
    Went out with a BUNCH of friends last night to see another friends band play and they did Bon Jovi's "who says you can't go home" and they dedicated it to me.
    But walking into the bar (not out of it after drinking), I fell and I have a bruise the size of a saucer on my hip. Last night couldn't even sleep on that side it was hurting so bad. It's still sore. But what a graceful move. And I had not yet even had a drink. Go figure.
    Well, to look on the bright side of that story, if you were gonna fall, better to do it before drinks so no one could accuse you of being a drunk?! I hope your hip feels better soon. That has to hurt - I hate falling down.

  4. #15404
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by canuckinchile;4038595;

    On a somewhat different (but same) note, a friend of mine has an autistic child who has severe eating issues, and has done for a number of years. They have tried everything. EVERYTHING. Last week, they were at a teaching hospital, so needed to go through the resident before seeing the specialist familiar with their case. She asked them if they had tried feeding her chicken My friend said she thought her husband was going to lose his mind. People just say the darnedest things at times.
    What is chicken supposed to do?
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    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

  5. #15405
    Premium Member canuckinchile's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Sorry, the point is: of course they tried to feed her chicken. They tried everything. They probably cooked more food, in more ways, than anyone has in a life time. To ask someone with a child that eats only a few foods: "Have you tried chicken?" is insulting. If you ask a person with a child that is starving herself, "Have you tried giving her food?", it is basically the same. I know I didn't explain that very well...

  6. #15406
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by canuckinchile;4038728;
    Sorry, the point is: of course they tried to feed her chicken. They tried everything. They probably cooked more food, in more ways, than anyone has in a life time. To ask someone with a child that eats only a few foods: "Have you tried chicken?" is insulting. If you ask a person with a child that is starving herself, "Have you tried giving her food?", it is basically the same. I know I didn't explain that very well...
    I got the point, I was just wondering if maybe this person had some magical way with chicken. My sarcasm is elusive sometimes.
    - The Dean Martin Show -

    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

  7. #15407
    Premium Member canuckinchile's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Sorry. I think we need a sarcasm font sometimes

  8. #15408
    MRD
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Oh I know people mean well and often don't know what to say. It's just that the word strong has come to have no meaning for me anymore as I've heard it so many times.
    I do appreciate that people care and want to say something nice. One friend is driving me crazy with motivational messages when not bashing my husband. I am really not ready for that at all right now. We may have had our differences and he did some not very good things, BUT he was my husband for a long time and we did have a good marriage for a long time and we raised a wonderful child together. So bashing him to me, no, not really helpful right now either. He may be a sh*t, but he's my sh*t. I can bad mouth him, but no one else can. Weird huh? So I finally told her to quit with both the inspirational stuff and the bashing as right now I can't handle either. She hasn't spoken to me since. Oh well. I'm at the point where I have no filter right now. I told someone in the bar the other night that was bashing my friends band to "Shut the F up!". All my friends with me just gasped.
    So guess I need to work on my filter or I'm going to be a cranky old lady and get in a lot of trouble.
    And I know that All this shall pass. It's a process and as my therapist says it's a lot like suffering a death as their is grieving and all the steps that go with it: denial, anger, etc. I'll be ok soon. I know it. Right now tho. I am allowed to be cranky and wallow at times. Like I said, they are getting farther and farther apart. More good than bad days.

    And yes, good thing I feel before going in the bar. I am grace personified. I can't count the number of times I've fallen. I am a real klutz at times. Bruise looks fantastic! All sorts of angry shades or red and purple. At least it can't be seen.

    Thanks all. I appreciate the advice and support.

    And it's changed how I relate to people in a crisis now. I am not going to say the same trite phrases anymore.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  9. #15409
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by canuckinchile;4038852;
    Sorry. I think we need a sarcasm font sometimes
    I think we need one ALL the time!

    MRD, I think I have decided to go to Sanibel one WE in October--I will not tell you you are strong, if you want to go get a seashell with me. Instead, I'll push you in the pool or something... I think we should have a Cheap Ass Hen Party, if anyone wanted to show up. We can snorkel and go fishing in the bay and have drinks after or something.
    Seriously, sometimes maybe you should have a "no hubby" rule that day, in which no one is allowed to even mention your or there troubles, but should go try on garbage cans at the Home Depot or some other such intellectual stimulation...
    I have found the Truth and it doesn't make sense.

  10. #15410
    FORT Fogey GuardianAngel's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Sanibel as in Sanibel Island??? One of my favourite places!!! A stop at the DQ is a must, before carrying on to Captiva!

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