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Thread: FORT Koffee Klatch

  1. #15311
    FORT Fanatic Holly in SoCal's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Getting Married?

    Quote Originally Posted by stcroix;4018056;
    If my daughter and daughter in law are anything to go by-- brides demand perfection on their day!

    Oh, and we just attended a nightmare wedding where the theme was 1940's and everything was vintage. The bride had three different sets of engagement pictures taken at three different locations-- all absolutely beautiful, but I can't imagine the expense for her poor parents. Not counting this over the top 'vintage' wedding at a resort that while beautiful, was SO detailed. I can't imagine how the people around her stood the months of planning without killing her! She had an idea of her perfect wedding and it got done, so hopefully it was worth it. It cost my son and daughter in law, who were groomsman and his lady $1000. to be in the thing. So watching Bethenny's little event didn't seem so much!

    (my daughter was in a good friends wedding that was another one of these 'everything's got to be perfect' types and everything that she'd worked and planned for was going smoothly until the bride was in the limo with her maids of honor leaving for the church and suddenly cracked, became hysterical and started screaming at them and telling them all off! My daughter said there she sat in her huge dress having this meltdown and they were cowering together trying to get away! We laugh about it now, but my daughter and the other girls were shocked at the time. They'd also put out mega $ and time for her.)

    Anyway-- to stop the rambling (your welcome!), many brides are perfectionists on their special day and I don't think Bethenny was an exception.
    Speaking of weddings...I'm going to one today up in the OC...yes...ORANGE COUNTY! I don't think I'll be seeing any of the "housewives" there because the wedding I am attending would probably be below their standards. One of our attorneys is getting married (on the beach at 5:30) and then having the reception at a hotel that is on the SAME beach on their outdoor patio area facing the ocean. That'll be so pretty and romantic and then we get to watch the sunset over the ocean. She (the bride) said that we shouldn't dress up too much because her dad and grandfather are wearing Hawaiian shirts. And the bride and groom are not even accepting wedding gifts (since they are in their 30's and combining two households and have everything) but instead told everyone if they want they can make a small donation to a local kitty animal shelter in their area. That's so nice of them...not many couples think of anyone other than themselves.

    However...my daughter is getting married next year and she is "thinking" of a 40's wedding theme...oh my!!

    My wedding was quite a long time ago...more than 30 years ago...and I am now divorced...but I remember getting my wedding dress at JC Penneys and only paying around 150.00 for it...now I see on these wedding shows people pay 5k or more...wow!!! People do seem to go overboard nowadays and it does seem that they make more of an effort in making the wedding perfect than then they do at working on the marriage after the wedding is over. And call me old school...but I think if a couple has been living together prior to marriage...then they should just have a simple ceremony to make it legal. I know I'll get alot of flack on that one...but to me....if you've been living together, then you've already been playing house/husband/wife (sometimes even having kids), so why the big deal over a wedding? You by-passed that step when you moved in together and played "marriage" before the wedding. I don't understand making a big deal and having an extravagant wedding with all the bells and whistles when you're getting married AFTER living together...it just doesn't make sense. To me...a wedding signifies a new life together, creating a new household with your loved one and sharing in new things that you haven't shared in before, there's a real sense of excitement that comes with that. When you live together, you've already done all that...so what's there to look forward to? I guess the party is exciting and wearing a wedding dress, but other than the party...most couples who live together have even already gone on vacation together, so a honeymoon is just like another vacation. My daughter and her boyfriend went on vacation in June to Europe and got engaged in Paris...so what will make a honeymoon any different than their trip to Europe other than they will be wearing wedding rings? I've had this discussion w/my daughter (who is living with her fiance for a year and a half now) and she says that marrying someone is a bigger commitment than even having kids with them! Something is backwards here! I just don't get it....when you have kids with someone you are stuck with that person in your life forever but if you marry someone and you end up divorced and have not had kids, you never have to see them again. And it would seem that alot of people must feel that way today about marriage being a bigger commitment than kids or else they would marry the person they're having kids with and living with instead of just living together, having kids and not marrying. Sometimes I feel like I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and am living in "backwards world" where everything is upside down and backwards.

  2. #15312
    FORT Fogey
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    Re: Bethenny Getting Married?

    Quote Originally Posted by tvaholic;4018243;
    Oh, don't get me wrong. I enjoy weddings no matter how big or small. I always have hope that it will work out. I haven't gone to many in recent years but the last few have given me a clue as to how much more is expected these days. CDs ,with a photo of the bride and groom, with their favorite love songs. Special dances that they took lessons for. Cakes that cost thousands of dollars. These weren't rich people or at least they aren't now! Sorry, it's impossible to sit there and not wonder how much it all cost. Really! No one else does this? My advice to most people would be not to follow the trends! Something small, personal with people that you really care about. Bigger isn't better, it makes you spread yourself thinner and it makes it difficult to enjoy you wedding day. Save some money and put it towards your future not on a party (again, if you really can't afford it).
    Oh, I do it! I wasn't saying I didn't. I think sometimes those getting married should choose. Do they want to spend all their money inviting and feeding/gifting hundreds of guests or have a lavish, expensive wedding? I think it should be the best you can afford, but shouldn't break the bank. It should make the bride and groom happy, that's really what matters.

    Oh, by the way, those CDs probably aren't as expensive as you think.

  3. #15313
    FORT Fogey tvaholic's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Getting Married?

    Holly in So Cal, So true and so funny! I think that with most women (me included) we're just not willing to give up on that silly dream, that we've had since childhood, of having a big white wedding! If I could go back in time, mine would be in some small restaurant with about 30 people. I don't even see most of the people that were at my wedding anymore! There, of course, is a part of me that would LOVE to do a great wedding for my daughter but I keep telling her to go to Vegas! Now that's FUN!

  4. #15314
    FORT Fanatic Holly in SoCal's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Getting Married?

    Quote Originally Posted by tvaholic;4018287;
    Holly in So Cal, So true and so funny! I think that with most women (me included) we're just not willing to give up on that silly dream, that we've had since childhood, of having a big white wedding! If I could go back in time, mine would be in some small restaurant with about 30 people. I don't even see most of the people that were at my wedding anymore! There, of course, is a part of me that would LOVE to do a great wedding for my daughter but I keep telling her to go to Vegas! Now that's FUN!
    LOL Tv....my daughter and I WERE just in Vegas and she was looking at the Paris hotel for a wedding venue...since she got engaged in Paris. She and her fiance are mostly paying for the wedding and his parents are chipping in around 15k...they have money...but with his huge Irish Catholic family...there's going to be around 300-350 guests...including tons of children. That should cost a pretty penny...but since they are paying for it...they'll have to deal with the cost of it all.

  5. #15315
    FORT Fogey tvaholic's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Getting Married?

    Quote Originally Posted by tears.and.rain;4018272;

    Oh, by the way, those CDs probably aren't as expensive as you think.
    Well, maybe the CDs weren't much but (trust me on this one) overall this particular wedding was a pricy one! It was at a private gold course in (where else) Orange County. They had a big band and some of the best food that I've ever had at a wedding. The other two were on Lido Island (Newport Beach, OC) and Laguna Beach, OC. The locations alone set them back a pretty penny. BTW, all of them were beautiful and all 3 couples are still together!

  6. #15316
    FORT Fan stcroix's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Getting Married?

    Tvaholic--
    I think I shouldn't have said 'nightmare wedding' because it turned out to be a fantastic wedding, but rather I should have said it seemed to be a nightmare for the parents of the bride,parents of the groom,the groom, and all the brides friends who were helping her plan this event-- or were affected by it. She wanted it a certain way and come hell or high water, it was going to turn out that way--- and it did. It seemed like everyone involved in it was thrilled when it was over, albeit secretly.

    I know my son, his wife and their 5 yr old son who were all in the wedding party went through alot. They had to travel about 3 hours to get to where the wedding was held, missing a day of work to do it, and the expense they put out on their clothes,hair and makeup was shocking. When they agreed to be in the wedding they weren't informed how much it would involve and the price just added and added and they felt like they couldn't back out. After they got to the resort where the wedding was held they were on their own-- it all was very disorganized. But it all looked lovely in the end.

    Holly--

    I'm about the same age as you it sounds like! I married over 30 yrs ago,too, and planned my wedding in TWO WEEKS! My parents were out of the country and were planning on being back around Christmas,so I threw everything together and ended up having a beautiful Church wedding. Actually, I panicked in the dressing room after peeping out to see the full Church and my mom had to force me to go through with it! I'm glad I did,now.

  7. #15317
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    How many of us know where our wedding dresses are today? Not only did I not order the finished prints of the wedding....somehow, I just didn't get around to it...but my custom-made dress eventually found its way to the dumpster.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  8. #15318
    FORT Fan stcroix's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Mines in a sealed box in my hall closet. At least I HOPE it is! My daughter wanted me to tear it open and get it out to see if she wanted to wear it for her wedding. I decided not to because after looking at wedding dresses with her I saw she really liked the satin off the shoulder plain ones and my dress was pure 1973 Princess look with lace ruffles all the way down the huge skirt and long lace sleeves. No way would she have been caught dead in it! I knew after being boxed up for years all those ruffles would be wrinkled and she'd soon tire of looking at it and I'd have to pay to get it back in the box! Maybe that style will come back around by the time my two granddaughters are ready to wed. They're only 1 and 6months still--- plenty of time!

    If anyone's curious as to why the Koffe Klatch thread was suddenly hijacked by wedding talk-- apparently we got too off topic in the Bethenny Gets Married thread and were banished over here. That's ok, I like it over here!

  9. #15319
    Miz Smarty Britches queenb's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Getting Married?

    Quote Originally Posted by Holly in SoCal;4018244;
    And call me old school...but I think if a couple has been living together prior to marriage...then they should just have a simple ceremony to make it legal. I know I'll get alot of flack on that one...but to me....if you've been living together, then you've already been playing house/husband/wife (sometimes even having kids), so why the big deal over a wedding? You by-passed that step when you moved in together and played "marriage" before the wedding. I don't understand making a big deal and having an extravagant wedding with all the bells and whistles when you're getting married AFTER living together...it just doesn't make sense. ?

    I won't give you a bit of flack - I agree 100%. I try not to even go if the couple has been living together for several years; I make whatever excuse. I also try to stay away from second or even later weddings that pretend the first never happened (ok, I might forgive one 'prior' if it was when you were 18 or 19, and didn't last long, and it's been a while) I was invited to one a while back where the couple had not only lived together for 5 or 6 years and had a kid 3 years old, it was also a friend's about 26 year old daughter and they had been living in the mom's house the entire time AND planned on staying there afterward. It was all I could do to not RSVP "not just no but hell no I won't be going--or giving a gift!
    I have found the Truth and it doesn't make sense.

  10. #15320
    FORT Fan stcroix's Avatar
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    Re: Bethenny Getting Married?

    Quote Originally Posted by queenb;4018511;

    I won't give you a bit of flack - I agree 100%. I try not to even go if the couple has been living together for several years; I make whatever excuse. I also try to stay away from second or even later weddings that pretend the first never happened (ok, I might forgive one 'prior' if it was when you were 18 or 19, and didn't last long, and it's been a while) I was invited to one a while back where the couple had not only lived together for 5 or 6 years and had a kid 3 years old, it was also a friend's about 26 year old daughter and they had been living in the mom's house the entire time AND planned on staying there afterward. It was all I could do to not RSVP "not just no but hell no I won't be going--or giving a gift!
    I agree,too. We attended a wedding where the couple had already been living together a couple of years and had a baby. They dressed the baby really cute and had another child pull him down the aisle in a decorated white wagon as part of the ceremony! I know it's common now for the baby to be part of the wedding if they've already been born, but what happened to getting married first, then showing off the baby?! I guess I'm just getting to be a cranky old woman!

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