FORT Koffee Klatch

[prhoshay]

Here's a most recent annoyance. A friend of mine has renewed a very old friendship and decided to marry him. He will be, about husband #4 or #5. Since renewing the friendship, she has pretty much stopped all contact with her old friends. That is not the problem. She no longer seems to hold any communications that are not his. You ask what SHE thinks, she tells you what HE thinks. You send a text message....HE answers it. You tell her to call you, HE calls you. This is the most ridiculous thing in the world. It is actually sad. He's got 24-hour sicknesses....I can't imagine why she would get tied down to this. I must admit that I've never noticed this kind of thing in her before, but maybe I wasn't paying attention. This will be husband #3 that I have known her through. I've decided that I just need to leave it alone. I am through.

[Gutmutter]

Have you thought about asking her to go out, just the two of you and voicing these concerns? That is weird.

[Critical]

Have you thought about asking her to go out, just the two of you and voicing these concerns? That is weird.

I'm with Gut. It is weird. To me, this sounds like an abuse situation. He's isolating her from her friends (and, presumably, her family), which is a big sign of a controlling person. I'd be very concerned.

[MRD]

Be careful what you say. She is going to stick up for him and not you. When you try to help someone in this kind of situation, it blows up in YOUR face. The best thing to do is just back away now, but be there for her when and if it does blow up.
It is just my opinion and sorry if I offend anyone, but if someone has been married that many times they've got some issues. I have 3 family members that have been married 5 times. At that point, I want to ask them if they've figured out yet it's THEM!!!

[queenb]

I have to agree with MRD here--trying to tell the person you are concerned will only make them peeved at you. Also, everyone I have ever met who has gone through three marriages or more has had some serious issues. I think you are doing the right thing by stepping away, phroshay! If I felt the overwhelming urge to speak up, it would be to her relatives, if you happen to know them.

[prhoshay]

My friend is over 50 years old. I have no intention of getting into her business since I can see she considers herself "head over heels". I am here if she thinks she needs me. For some reason, she seems to care what I think, but I don't offer until she asks (and asks, and asks! ).

I keep it vague.

[just1paul]

Be careful what you say. She is going to stick up for him and not you. When you try to help someone in this kind of situation, it blows up in YOUR face. The best thing to do is just back away now, but be there for her when and if it does blow up.
It is just my opinion and sorry if I offend anyone, but if someone has been married that many times they've got some issues. I have 3 family members that have been married 5 times. At that point, I want to ask them if they've figured out yet it's THEM!!!

I whole heartedly agree with you here. I had some neighbors downstairs at another place who was friends with me and they were always ALWAYS bickering. I got so fed up one time I said something and they BOTH turned on ME. It was cool for about a month then we went back to being friendly and I never said anything again, but they did calm down a bit.

I also knew someone who DID speak to another about boyfriend or husband and to this day none are speaking and the couple broke up anyway.

my sister was married twice, had countless "beaus" and I wonder if she ever figured out it was her?

[Gutmutter]

Just a quick prayer request that my mortgage broker will find me worthy of the loan to buy my house. Thanks.

[famita]

gut, sending positive, hopeful, and assured thoughts and prayers to you!

[Gutmutter]

Thank you. My daughter has student loans I co-signed that she got behind on the first year out of school. She's a pilot now and paying them all, but it still shows up on my credit report. Other than that, I make plenty to pay the loan. I've had this job for over a decade. You'd think I'd be a prime candidate. I just have to stop obsessing about it and let the Universe do it's work.