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Thread: FORT Koffee Klatch

  1. #14421
    FORT Fogey GuardianAngel's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Gut, go with your gut feelings! Just the fact that you feel you want to help her, to me says alot. Everything happens for a reason, you bumping into her at the gas station was meant to be.

    God forbid something happens, she gets mixed up in the wrong crowd again, or whatever, you'd never forgive yourself. People come into our lives for a reason, I believe that. She will be ever so grateful, and you will have a great sense of satisfaction.

  2. #14422
    addicted MamaC's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Late to the party, but I say take her out to lunch and go from there. At the very least you two will have more time to catch up more with each other than you had at the gas pump.

    My youngest sister was widowed six years ago. Her two girls are now 10 and 11. Over the summer she moved from NJ to MS to take a full-time job. She hired college kids to help her pack up all the belongings in NJ and they lugged all the boxes out to one of those Pods she rented. All the guys were very grateful for the work. Now in MS, she needs someone after school when the girls get home. She has three college girls come - two come twice a week and the third comes on Friday. The Friday girl also was hired to help her with housekeeping. It works well for all three because they come on the days their schedules permit. And they like having the extra cash. The girl who comes on Friday brought her boyfriend over two weeks ago and they both helped my sister hang pictures, etc., in her new home. As an added bonus, she has gone to a few evening events related to the job or the girls' school, and it was one less thing to worry about....she already knew that she wouldn't have any problems getting a sitter.

    So I think this could be a win-win situation for both of you. Hope it works out for you...and her!

  3. #14423
    Miz Smarty Britches queenb's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    As usual...I'm a bit of a contrarian! Gutmutter, I think you are very kind, and this could possibly be a good idea BUT (you know I always present the other side!) I think I would NOT tell where your home is much less invite her there until you have met for lunch several times, and waited a while. If you want to bring along a car-or truckload of 'stuff' to go through, good enough. The reason I say this is because I've had too much experience with former drunks or drug users, etc. that seem ok, but turn out to still have big problems and old habits, and sometimes bringing them into your home can turn into problems for you too; things going missing, constant begging to borrow x amount of money, whatever. And you don't dare step out the door or there they sit. Or, she could be OK, but unfortunately still hangs out with trouble that you don't need near your place.

    I know this sounds ugly and negative, but you do have to be careful. If your former student turns out to really be doing ok, she will be grateful for the time you spend with her and so forth, and you can decide to give other help later. I've just had more than my share of bad outcomes in situations like this--take your time, you don't have to
    do that much for her all at one time.
    I have found the Truth and it doesn't make sense.

  4. #14424
    That's all folks! Unklescott's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I'm with Queenie on this one. I've had too many bad experiences with allegedly rehabilitated people that I have hired in my many years in the restaurant business. They can lie straight to your face and seem so convincing.

  5. #14425
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Excellent points to bring up, queen. I can be your sister in cynicism. Working with the general public taught me a lot.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  6. #14426
    Me and my shadow Gutmutter's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    After I posted that, I had lunch with a friend who used to be the guidance counselor when this girl was at our school. She said the same thing as queenb and Unk. She said this girl is brilliant, but very, very damaged and adept at lying. I guess I'll offer to meet her for lunch and see if she's even interested. I'm pretty good at reading people. I'll see what my gut tells me then. I do appreciate all the feedback.
    Count your blessings!

  7. #14427
    FORT Fogey Air Blobs Easy Champion inthegarden's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I'll have to say I agree with queenb and Unk too. I would proceed with caution.

  8. #14428
    everything under the sun lopevian's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I don't know, Gutmutter. She is your favorite all-time student. She's in college now, persuing a course of study you may well have influenced her to persue. You said you wanted to encourage her. You said you knew she'd always go far. People change, they grow, and this may well be the case with her. It's wise to proceed with caution, but if your heart is telling you to proceed, then you ought to, IMO. People change. Give her a chance. It may end up benefitting you in ways that are surprising and wonderful. I guess I'm sensitive to painting people with the same brush. It's impossible, it doesn't work, and often, it's just plain not fair. She's unique, no matter how similar her past behavior may stack up to those who are truly just rotten to the core. People change. She could very well be one of them....those that come out on the other side. An extended hand along the way can be such a gift, to both parties.
    "...Mr. Bluebird on my shoulder..."

  9. #14429
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Well, it's no fun when you have to hold your breath the entire time. Sad, but true.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  10. #14430
    MRD
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I agree with everyone. Be cautious, but be there for her too. If she does backslide, perhaps having that positive influence in her life: you, will help her back on track or keep her on track. Just because someone was once a drug addict doesn't mean they can't change. Yeah, some do, some don't, but what if the opportunity to help is the reason you were brought back in her life? At this time when you too have been feeling the need for a "project" due to empty nest. It may well work out well for both of you.

    I agree with GuardianAngel that things happen for a reason. But you can be cautious at the same time.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

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