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Thread: FORT Koffee Klatch

  1. #12681
    Pineapple! ClosetRTWatcher's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    prhoshay - I honestly find it disturbing that at 9 or 10 this girl is going after male attention in this manner. It definitely sounds like she is going after attention, just in the wrong way. I don't blame the little boy for being a little freaked out!

    I think all you can do is be a good role model for her. It sounds like you already have been! I think your talk with her about respecting her body was absolutely the right thing to do!! Picking up on Cali's idea about the media, maybe you could talk with her about where she got the idea or what kind of "celebrities" she admires? Then you could talk about the images she is looking up to and why they may not be realistic or the right images for a girl her age to portray. Just a thought...

    Newf - No chance it could have been an April Fool's joke?? That may be the most ridiculous thing I have heard coming out of the schools. I think it may actually top the teachers who were going to grade papers in purple because red marker was too harsh and might hurt a child's self esteem!

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    Resident curmudgeon Newfherder's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    It was in the local paper last week.

    One of my HS English teachers used green ink to grade, partly to differentiate her commments from those of her lay reader, and partly because she had seen a sea of red ink in her day. Sort of like my first piano teacher refusing to teach Chopsticks after the gazillionth time.
    "The road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair, even though they both lead to the same destination."
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    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Closet, Cali, and livin4, thanks. I'm open to all suggestions and input. I'm really worried for her, and I'm trying to figure out my next step.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  4. #12684
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Quote Originally Posted by prhoshay;3399858;
    I need advice about a young lady that comes to the community center where I tutor.

    She is a very intelligent 9-10 year old who has become somewhat attached to me. Cute as a button, and really into the boys. Today, she pushed up the arm of her shirt to show me what she had written on her arm; "Touch My Body!!!" I told her that that was unacceptable and inappropriate. She had also told another little boy in the center (the same age group) that she wanted another little boy (whom she has professed a huge crush on) to touch her body. She willingly admitted this. The crushee, who is also a little friend of mine, came to me and told me the same thing. He told me more than once, one of the times being within earshot of the little girl, and she just smiled and nodded, and seemed to be very proud of it!

    I told her that if I were her mother that she would be in serious trouble with me. She asked if that meant that she'd be grounded, and I told her, "Most definitely!" I talked to her about respecting herself and her body. I told her to go wash that off her arm, and she did so immediately. She even brought me the soapy towel to help her wash it off. We got most of it off.

    Where do I go from here??? Feel free to poll some of your friends...the more the merrier!
    Do you happen to know what school she goes to? Maybe a call to the guidance office wouldn't be out of order. I definitely think this girl is crying out for help. You wouldn't have seen what she wrote on her arm if she hadn't actually made a point of showing it to you. I hope everything works out for this kid.

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    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    When I told her that if she were my daughter that she would be definitely grounded, her face fell. And that's when she went to wash off her arm. I have found that you have to be so careful with kids when you reveal things that they have told you, because they will totally shut down and shut you out, although she never said that she was telling me this in confidence and the boys that I'm sure are aware of it TALK A LOT.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  6. #12686
    FORT Fogey Add It Up Champion famita's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    prhoshay, first, Great that you stepped up to the plate and let her know what you thought-she obviously respects you and went to wash off immediately. Second, do you contact the school or the parent? I think you need to do something. I find it sad that this girl doesn't know that that sort of stuff doesn't work. Hopefully your mentoring will help. And hopefully she won't turn into one of those statistics.

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    FORT Regular Redlady's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Holy cow shay...Do you know the girls mother? I wonder where she's getting the idea that attention from boys = good. Especially since she sort of reacted like she expected you to be proud of her. I agree with ScoutMom, that the guidance councilor at the school may be able to help. perhaps they've seen other behavior in her as well. Poor girl. Somewhere along the line she's equated physical touching of the opposite sex with emotional love and attention. She's set up for a whole world of hurt if she doesn't get her priorities in order. She SO YOUNG!! No wonder you're worried.

    She came back to you to help her wash off her arm though, so that's a good sign. Someone needs to figure out a way to help this little girl understand that respect for yourself = love.

    Newf - Violins? Really??? That is absolutely absurd. People have taken complete leave of their senses on some things.
    Some people are like slinkies. Not really good for anything useful, but they bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
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    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    You know, now that I think about it, I think she told the boy to tell the other one that she wanted to touch HIS body. This has really got me blown away. I am sorry to keep going on and on about this.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  9. #12689
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    Well I am not a parent so you can discount anything I post. Something just screams abuse to me. I think this child is having problems and is reaching out in the only way she knows how.

  10. #12690
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: FORT Koffee Klatch

    I'm not discounting anything that anybody is offering, right now.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

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