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  1. #101
    An innocent bystander nlmcp's Avatar
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    What a pointless day, I'm trying to clean my living room carpet and both my vaccuum cleaner and my carpet cleaner are acting up. 2 1/2 hours later my carpet is not cleaned and I'm hot annoyed and ready to put both at the curb.
    Last edited by nlmcp; 07-04-2006 at 01:20 PM.
    I could go east, I could go west, it was all up to me to decide. Just then I saw a young hawk flyin' and my soul began to rise. ~Bob Seger

  2. #102
    A pirate's life for me suncat7's Avatar
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    My Mom burnt her hand really badly about 8 years ago on a sparkler. (a SPARKLER!) I saw on television the other day that those can burn at some incredibly hot temperature.

    I now buy wooden-handled sparklers, but even with those, we're careful.

    Oh yeah, Mom blamed ME as I was trying to get a photo of her with the sparkler, so yes, the burning incident is captured on film.

    ETA: sorry to hear about that, nlmcp.
    Always looking for cat treats!

    Breathe out, so I can breathe you in...

  3. #103
    MRD
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    Quote Originally Posted by gabriel View Post
    Another good place for CD's is mymusic.com or deepdiscountcd.com DVD's go to deepdiscountdvd.com All great online places and they have old stuff too. quick delivery.
    I get a lot of movies, CD's and books at www.half.com you can get new, used, etc.

    I have never had a problem nor been disappointed, even when I have bought used stuff. And you can usually get hard to find or out of print or manufacture stuff there. They even had Disney's Song of the South on video which is not produced in this country at ALL (considered racist).

    -----------------------------------
    I've never liked sparklers even as a kid. They burn when the sparks land on your hand and they are so incredibly hot. I still have a memory of being about 4-5 at the lake for the fireworks and burning my hand really bad on a sparkler and my mom (and all her friends) put lipstick on it as that was all they had. I don't know whose bright idea that was, but it didn't help me at ALL!!!
    Ah, the 1960's, what memories!!!!

    We also used to fill a bucket or large can with water to put the used sparklers in so they didn't get dropped in the lawn. That was a big deal the year my mom mowed after the 4th and tore up the lawnmower with the metal sparkler wires.
    Last edited by MRD; 07-04-2006 at 02:17 PM.
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  4. #104
    Wait, what? ArchieComic Fan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by myrosiedog View Post
    I get a lot of movies, CD's and books at www.half.com you can get new, used, etc.

    I have never had a problem nor been disappointed, even when I have bought used stuff. And you can usually get hard to find or out of print or manufacture stuff there. They even had Disney's Song of the South on video which is not produced in this country at ALL (considered racist).
    I recently got a dvd for my husband for father's day from ebay and the seller had it listed for 1 cent! And I won the bid! All I had to pay was about 3 dollars for s&h so I came out pretty good.

    I have a copy of a copy of Song of the South. It's a sweet movie and reflects the times in which it was made but to me it's not racist. I think of it more as historical (knowing that not all history is good) but I don't discount the feelings of those who may be offended by it either.

  5. #105
    MRD
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    Quote Originally Posted by ArchieComic Fan View Post
    I recently got a dvd for my husband for father's day from ebay and the seller had it listed for 1 cent! And I won the bid! All I had to pay was about 3 dollars for s&h so I came out pretty good.

    I have a copy of a copy of Song of the South. It's a sweet movie and reflects the times in which it was made but to me it's not racist. I think of it more as historical (knowing that not all history is good) but I don't discount the feelings of those who may be offended by it either.

    And it has Zippity Do Dah in it, one of my favorite Disney songs.

    Well, there is a lot of controversy about that movie, Uncle Remus stories (I have that book) and the book Little Black Sambo. All movies and books I had as a kid.
    I agree it reflects the times and it is historical, but don't want to start a huge debate about racism either. It's still a pretty sore subject in these parts among people.

    half.com is affliated with ebay, but its not an auction site. And when you do a search, it will give you the books available on half.com as well as any that are currently on auction on ebay.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
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  6. #106
    FORT Fogey misskitty's Avatar
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    I haven't bough CD's for awhile. I didn't know you could buy them so much cheaper through those sites you mentioned. Great idea!

    We don't have Target. And no Sonic. That's sounds amazing! I want a Sonic! I want a Sonic!

    Maybe West Edmonton Mall should get one. They have just about everything else in there
    Live simply ~ Love generously~ Care deeply~ Speak kindly

  7. #107
    MRD
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    Bringing this over from the Regional sayings/dialect thread as requested by Muduh. We've been talking about how people have different customs for when someone dies and most have been about bringing food to the family of the deceased.



    Quote Originally Posted by Doxie
    I had a great-aunt who made cakes and kept them in her freezer just in case anyone died. She'd pop the cake out and show up with it as soon as she heard the news. My Dad used to joke that if we ever saw Aunt Lucille ringing the doorbell with a cake in her hands, we should be prepared for bad news.



    Oh, that is so funny about the cakes, as there was a woman in our town, just like that and we used to say the SAME thing. How funny, I am really now. I guess every town has one!

    When my grandmother died, this woman was at our house 2 hours later. Her husband was the doctor in town to almost everyone including our family, so I guess that is how she always knew so quickly. I mean, we hadn't even called the funeral home yet or all the relatives and here she was with a cake at the door!

    What we were actually doing was debating taking the Christmas tree down. We had just put it up that morning and it had NO decorations on it (they were stacked up in boxes in the living room after having just come out of the attic) and we were trying to decide if we should continue decorating or just take it back outside for a few days. NOthing like worrying about important details when someone in the family dies.

    Let me just add that this was the same grandmother that I fell in the grave with after the funeral (strictly by accident, not design, believe me! That is an afternoon forever burned in my memory and not pleasantly either). There is no end to the klutzy things I have managed to do in my life!!!!! for today's installment, go read the stupid things thread.

    Here is the new part:

    My dad's mom was a very cold, unemotional person who had very little love to give to my dad or any of us grandchildren. She spent 25 years "dying" and drove my parents crazy with her demands and insane actions. (I could write volumes on the stuff she did like driving her car into the side of the bank and then not getting out when the police came and her dog was in the car with her and kept trying to bite the policeman and they had to call my dad-per usual- to come down and get her to get out of the car. She wasn't hurt, but the bank building was. She drove a damn tank of a car) She had been pampered and spoiled her entire life by her parents and my grandfather.
    She also started many mean rumors about my mom during my parents marriage and we lived in a small town that thrived on gossip. So I'm surprised my mom wasn't out skipping through town singing: "ding dong the witch is dead" when she died. I have to give my mom a LOT of credit for the crap she put up with from my grandmother. My dad too as she was mean when she didn't get her way which was most of the time according to her.

    She died after I was grown, but still living at home. It was on a Sat. during the first week of December. We had brought the Christmas tree in and gotten it up and were getting ready to decorate for Christmas when the dr. called and said, she was really dying this time (Pardon me if this sounds mean, but she was a piece of work, let me tell you and like I said, she had been "dying" for a long time according to her-kind of like the boy that cried wolf). So we all go to the nursing home and she did die-she was almost 90 when this happened. We came home and were still trying to decide what to do with the Christmas tree as we knew that people would be coming over and was it proper to have the Christmas stuff up at a time like this or not. The great "appearances" debate. Sure enough, people started showing up within 2 hours time with food lead off by the doctor's wife.

    Later that night my mom and I stayed up late and got the tree up, but decided to wait on the other decorations because we didn't want to haul out a 9 foot tree we had just hauled in. So several days pass and the funeral is scheduled. All the grown grandsons were to be pallbearers. My deranged, drug addicted brother shows up 2 hours before the funeral and has no suit and is in bad need of a haircut. So my poor dad is running around buying him a suit and getting the local barber to cut his hair and worrying about 900 other things, the house is full of people, the funeral home is there with the limo-I wisely decided to drive myself as I wasn't about to be cooped up in that car with all my crazy relatives and the funeral goes off as planned (let me add that my grandmother had pre-planned her funeral 15 years earlier and they even had a dress in storage at the funeral home that she had brought to them for her to wear) and its awful. Not tear jerking we are sad awful, but awful in terms of what she wanted in the way of music, readings and eulogy. You would have thought she had personally fed starving orphans by what was said by a preacher none of us even knew. I still don't know where they dragged him up from. The music she picked was the worst. My dad has not told my mom about the pre-recorded AWFUL wwailing type of music and my mom elbows me after it starts and now we are both sitting there with our lips pressed shut and going "mumph-mumph" trying not to laugh. OK, so I know this sounds like we are the most horrible people on earth, but so much had happened and it was an emotional day for a lot of reasons and this struck us as terribly funny and you know how you get the urge to laugh at the most inopportune times? Well this was one of them. Almost the entire town is at the funeral and we are trying really hard not to be the subject of town gossip once again while we try not to laugh.

    There were also a LOT of flowers as my dad was a businessman in town, knew everyone and his father and grandfather had been mayors of our town, so in respect to my dad (everyone in town knew she was crazy), we had a lot of people at the funeral and a lot of flowers sent.

    During the time she was bad-mouthing my mother and doing these crazy stunts, she pitted my dad against his rich first cousin from Texas and they got into it and had not spoken for years. The rich cousin was footing her weekly hair, manicure and pedicure appointments IN THE NURSING HOME because he knew it would get my dad's goat. I don't know why you have to have your hair and nails done in the nursing home, but she ALWAYS looked perfectly put together, even at 89 laying in bed in a hospital gown. There was much bad blood in my dad's family, most of it because of my grandmother. She loved to stir the pot for some reason and get everyone mad at everyone else while she sat back and enjoyed it.

    Anyway, we go to the cemetary (oh and she already had a headstone with her name and birthdate engraved on it and it had been there since my grandfather had died about 25 years before. The headstone is important) and after the services there, about50- 60 people came back to our house and spent the afternoon eating and visiting. It was a full house, let me tell you. It had rained lightly during this time as well. This is also important.

    After everyone leaves, my mom says: Lets go back out to the cemetary and see who all the flowers are from and if they did a good job burying her (I secretly think my mom wanted to be sure she was really under 6 feet of earth and not going to be there to make my mom's life a living nightmare anymore).
    So she and I are the only ones that go. I don't think my dad ever went back to the cemetery again after the funeral and was insistant on NOT being buried there even tho there are about 8 empty spaces for the family.

    We are looking at the flowers and reading the cards and my mom says: get up there by the headstone and see who that huge arrangement is from.

    Well there were so many flowers and there are 2 trees on either side of the stone and my grandfathers and great-grandparents stones are also right there and it was tricky getting up to the headstone where this immense arrangement had been placed. I inadvertantly stepped in the soft, damp sand on top of the grave and literally sank to my knees. In the split second that I realized what had happened, I panicked, screamed and began to claw my way back up and out over the wet grass at the side of the grave. To this day (and its been almost 18 years) I still vividly remember the terror I felt and the horrorible feeling that I would sink and end up standing on the coffin and also the ridiculous notion that she was reaching beyond the grave to take me with her. I know it sounds stupid, but in the couple of seconds that something like this happens to you, all kinds of strange things go thru your mind. I look up and my mom is bent double laughing. She can't stop. She laughed until she almost peed herself. And there I stand, shaking, covered in mud, wet from the grass next to the grave, my heart is pounding and I feel like the entire cemetery is going to rise up and start chasing me.

    At this point my mom manages to get out the words: "you know I've always heard about peoples eyes getting big as saucers, but this is the first time I've actually seen it happen". And continues to laugh like crazy.


    I finally see the humor in it and we are both standing in the cemetery laughing. Probably fueled more rumors if anyone saw us.

    Then she says to me: So who are the flowers from?

    I almost killed her and put her in with my grandmother at that point. I had managed to pull the card out as I went down, down, down in the dirt and I look at it and its from the rich cousin we all dislike. Anyway, to say I was a little miffed by now is the understatement of the year. I threw the card at her and say: It's from John. Can we go now!!!!

    We go home and she literally runs in the house to tell everyone that I fell in the grave. Which they all can't believe until I come in, dirty, wet and my shoes all covered in mud.

    And I've spent 18 years being teased about going to graveside services: "Don't fall in! hahahaha!"

    My family loves humor and practical jokes and we have always said, if you can't laugh, no matter the situation, you might as well be dead. So after telling this bizarre tale, I have probably made most of you shake your head and wonder what kind of person am I to have behaved this way.

    So let me just say that yes, I have a sick sense of humor and at my dad's memorial service it really came out. I asked my other brother (not the crazy, drug addicted one, this one is semi-normal) to open the ashes that we were sprinkling and when he did, one of those spring loaded snakes popped out of the container at him. My dad loved practical jokes and the can of nuts with the snake inside was a favorite prank of his. This brother has been the one teasing me for years about falling in with my grandmother, so he deserved the practical joke we played on him. He was surprised, but composed himself rapidly and looked at me and said: "Dad would have been proud".

    I'm not so sure the minister has recovered from that yet. No one there knew but me and my husband about the snake joke, so it took EVERYONE by surprise. But my dad's service was small and mostly family only, so at least the ones there knew about his liking of practical jokes and thought this was the funniest thing they had ever seen.

    So I am probably the only person in the world that played a practical joke at a funeral and probably the only one that has fallen into a fresh grave with a relative.

    I did go back home last week and went out to the cemetery and we own a rather large section with many plots. It has a concrete border around it and the threshold into the plot has the family name carved in marble. There is also an IMMENSE monument in the center of the plot with the family name carved on it that you can see from the road. Well, there are now strangers buried in our plot! 3 new graves are in the plot and they are NOT relatives. Me and my siblings own these plots and I am now trying to find out how these strangers got put on "our land". Not that any of us want to be buried there, but dang it, if we did, we can't because someone stole my cemetery plot! So I guess I'm probably one of the few people that can say that too. I think I will write a book about my crazy family and call it: Someone stole my cemetery plot. Sounds like a Jeff Foxworthy joke doesn't it? You might be a redneck if you've ever had a cemetery plot stolen from you.

    I know this is long, but I didn't know how to tell it otherwise. So forgive me for writing chapters.

    So Muduh, I hope you like it because I have sat here laughing about it all once again while I typed this. Yes, I am sick. Sick and twisted.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
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  8. #108
    Resident curmudgeon Newfherder's Avatar
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    myrosiedog, that is some of the best writing I've seen in a very long time. The images you paint are going to be with me a long, long time.

    Since we are on the subject of funerals, a former boss of mine got a great send-off from a couple of his friends. They had built a cabin together some years earlier, so they took TL's ashes out there and placed them on top of some dynamite in the clearing. His buddies then put a case of beer with the ashes, and sent the whole works skyward.

    My mother's funeral was almost a disaster. The funeral director (FD) was a real jackass, and made it clear that he had better things to do, rather than hang around for Mom's visitation hours. When one of my elderly aunts asked where the minister was, the FD said that wasn't part of the visitation package, and the minister was doing the funeral as a favor to the FD. He kept making snide remarks about the "big city" (Mom had lived in Columbus, Ohio for nearly 25 years, and was being buried at her hometown of about 5000 people.) Finally, one of my brothers, a Lutheran minister, ripped into him. Without raising his voice, he informed the FD that he (my brother) lived in a town of about 300 people, and that to him, Medford was a big city, and from what he could tell, they had nothing to be proud of. He also told the FD that since the funeral was such an imposition for the local minister, the FD could call him and tell him that the minister's services were not required. The FD started to make some reply, but I guess the sight of the rest of us (8 siblings and assorted aunts and uncles) glaring at him made him think twice. The next morning, the FD was still an arrogant ass, hadn't cancelled the minister (who showed up in a God-awful plaid sports coat), and still wanted to run the show. Another brother told him that he should have listened the previous night, because he wasn't going to be so nice about explaining how we all felt about FDs. The FD pretty much disappeared after that, and my brother the Lutheran put together a very nice, very personal service for Mom.
    Last edited by Newfherder; 07-04-2006 at 09:53 PM.
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  9. #109
    FORT Fogey Muduh's Avatar
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    My God! I do believe your last name is the same as mine. These things can not be made up. My family is just the strangest bunch (never would have guessed it, would you?) and we also have many stories that have a corpse as a main character. The big thing with this bunch though, is that a good funeral, or a wedding was the perfect excuse for the whole "shootin match" to throw a big drunk. And I actually mean that people are sharing a bottle out beside the funeral home. Then when the service is over and the planting is done, everyone meets at someone's house, usually someone who didn't want to be involved but had the biggest house, or whatever. Then the show really starts. Well, while the women are in the kitchen laying out all the food, the men are continuing to party hardy. And woe be unto the one who opens his mouth at the wrong time, because several will surely pile on and fists will be flying. I don't believe that a single event ever passed without someone waking up with a split lip or black eye, the next morning.

    Well, when I was a young teenager, one of my rogue cousins got shot dead in the Greyhound Bus Station. He was one of about a dozen kids, and several of them took it much harder than you would have expectd for a bunch who rarely saw each other, and fought when they did, but different strokes, I guess. Anyway, he had one sister who had spent (mispent) her youth supposedly as an "actress" somewhere. When she showed up she had "actress" written all over her, if you get my drift. We're talking white trash, plain and simple. We (young teens) were all just amazed that she could put away as much Southern Comfort as she was but for anyone who is unfamiliar with that liquor, let me tell you, everything is fine one minute and then things change, drastically and suddenly. She began to scream like a banshee and took off out the door like her tail was on fire. For a woman in four inch heels, she could run faster than anyone woud ever have imagined. Well, no one seemed particularly alarmed at her departure and the party continued without her theatrics........for about fifteen minutes. A knock on the door brought my sister's boyfriend, and his dad, who both lived a couple of doors down the street, carrying that drunk in the door, cursing a blue streak, with her skirt hitched up over her butt and her blouse rolled up under her armpits and no slip, or bra in sight. This poor boyfriend had been through so many of our families strange incidents that he didn't seem fazed, but my sister looked like she might vomit any second. About that time, a gang of us youngsters decided we'd really like to go to a movie. had no idea what was showing but we knew for sure tht we wanted to see it!

    I had many relatives die, and many more "wake" stories to tell, if anyone is interested.

  10. #110
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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