I say you did the right thing.
I say you did the right thing.
Thanks Gabriel....Deep deep down inside I feel I am too but it is just so darn hard and I feel so guilty
Shyra... You did the right thing. Sometimes kids have to be pushed out of the nest. I did the same thing with my son. He was 19 and living with us and he quit his job for no reason at all and wouldn't get another job. Just wanted to sit around on the computer all night and sleep all day. So we kicked him out. He stayed with friends for a while until his welcome wore out, which didn't take long. Then he actually slept in his car for a bit. To make a long story short, he finally realized that he had to grow up, found a job that he still has to this day and now at 24 is the father of a beautiful little girl. He happens to be a pretty good dad too. I'm real proud of him. It was really, really hard for me at the time. I spent many sleepless nights wondering if we had done the right thing. Tough love is hard on the parents too.
Oh Shyra :grouphug There isn't a manual for parenting and nobody is perfect so don't beat yourself up. You are doing and have done the best that you can. And I think you made the right choice. At 20 your daughter should be more independent than she is, so it's time she learns some life lessons. I hope that her Dad can help her. But if not, you have to stand firm and demand that she becomes an adult. She has no excuse.
As hard as it must be, she needs to learn to be a responsible adult. You realize that your parents did you no favors by catering to you and you want what's best for her.
As parents, we all want what's best and sometimes acheiving the end result means that the journey there can be rocky.
Sending best wishes that it all works out for you all.
shyra - my parents always let us know that after college we were not welcome to live at their house. Since that was always a given we made plans accordingly. I did think it was a little cold at the time, but now I see they did us all a huge favor. Just watch Dr. Phil when he has one of those shows on the situation. It's not pretty.
arggh. We were working with a concrete company to replace 2 - 2 car double length driveways. were trying to schedule this month, but hadn't gotten on the schedule yet - they call yesterday and say they can work on it today - or have to wait 2 weeks. of course, today is the day my daughter is having a party at our house (soon to be her place as a rental) - ok. they can come tear it up - plan is to pour the cement Monday.
This morning 2 crews show up - they are tearing up and pouring today. OMG - the cement dust is EVERYWHERE.
at least the party group can park on the road on the side of the house and come&go through the back yard.
WHAT A MESS!
Thanks everyone. I have been up most of the night and I have to work today, actually I started at 6am and have to go back in at 9am until 6pm. I talked to my daughter this morning and we were both crying but she agreed that if she stayed here she probably would continue on the way she is because she knows I will give in. My son was out when he turned 18, I didn't kick him out, he left on his own and he said it was the best thing for him. Still, she is a girl. That is what is getting me the most is she is my baby girl and I always worry about something happening etc. It can happen to boys as well but I feel more protective of her then my son and now saying that I feel like a rotten mother.:mmm Thanks for letting me whine and listening. I love coming to the Fort!!!
Shyra, I also think you did the right thing. My dad made me move after I finished school, and I know it was for the best; I always had a job, but blew most of my money on partying and clothes, and I don't think I would have ever matured if I hadn't been ordered to leave. Of course you are worrying, but it will be for the best, and after all she is with her Dad, not out in the street, so that should ese your mind some.
There is no greater gift that we can give to our children than the gifts of self-sufficiency and independence. When we don't give them wings, it's usually more about US than it is about them.
I've always been determined to die with the peace of the knowledge that my son can take care of himself and does not have to suffer the embarrassment of being a burden on some one else. (I also refused to turn loose another helpless man on this world! The boy has skills, and he's proud of them....which makes me very proud of him!!!)