Thanks, William. I think her family in town will handle it okay, so far as interpersonal stuff goes. Her granddaughter (who's just a few years younger than me) is a saint. My brother (her stepson) won't put in a lot of time, but he is a really good guy and will help out when called. I think all 3 of us here are not judgemental, we all have busy lives with young kids, and frankly, strangers are going to end up doing most of the care. I can't visit every day. A few people (my sort of ex included) have suggested I move her into my basement! Yikes! I have no spare bedroom, and my mum has always expected me to entertain her. I would have no privacy and it would be very unfair on the kids (6 and 10) to inflict someone with dementia on them (she's more or less okay now, except her short term memory is shot completely). She can be really lucid, and cope within her routine, but anything outside of it and she's gone. I've talked to my friend the lawyer, so we've started that ball rolling, and I've got to take her up to the bank tomorrow to get her to close down her account and open a joint one that I can manage for her.
I really am ready for some ray of sunshine. Mind you, I looked at my little guy in the tub tonight, totally thrilled with himself for using up half a bar of soap to make his tummy all bubbly and super-white, and I thought "I've got to appreciate those kids every moment, cause they are good kids, and I might not have a spouse who loves me, and everything else is going to crap, but these kids are good, and they love me to bits."
I know my mum's condition is not all about me, but it's just all too much to happen in one year, separation, health scare, now this. Maybe it's going to be all over with at once, and next year will be a huge improvement! (well, sadly not for mum, but at least for me, my niece and my kids).