Thanks, William. I think her family in town will handle it okay, so far as interpersonal stuff goes. Her granddaughter (who's just a few years younger than me) is a saint. My brother (her stepson) won't put in a lot of time, but he is a really good guy and will help out when called. I think all 3 of us here are not judgemental, we all have busy lives with young kids, and frankly, strangers are going to end up doing most of the care. I can't visit every day. A few people (my sort of ex included) have suggested I move her into my basement! Yikes! I have no spare bedroom, and my mum has always expected me to entertain her. I would have no privacy and it would be very unfair on the kids (6 and 10) to inflict someone with dementia on them (she's more or less okay now, except her short term memory is shot completely). She can be really lucid, and cope within her routine, but anything outside of it and she's gone. I've talked to my friend the lawyer, so we've started that ball rolling, and I've got to take her up to the bank tomorrow to get her to close down her account and open a joint one that I can manage for her.
I really am ready for some ray of sunshine. Mind you, I looked at my little guy in the tub tonight, totally thrilled with himself for using up half a bar of soap to make his tummy all bubbly and super-white, and I thought "I've got to appreciate those kids every moment, cause they are good kids, and I might not have a spouse who loves me, and everything else is going to crap, but these kids are good, and they love me to bits."
I know my mum's condition is not all about me, but it's just all too much to happen in one year, separation, health scare, now this. Maybe it's going to be all over with at once, and next year will be a huge improvement! (well, sadly not for mum, but at least for me, my niece and my kids).
Oh my giz, what a lot to do.
If you can avoid it, don't move her in with you, it would be hard on the kids, my sister went through that with her MIL and my niece was terrified of her for the 18 months she lived with them. Plus your mom will do better in her familier area. Research your options for nursing homes, assisted livings, homes for the aged, so that when she has to move you have ideas. Plus if the place you like has a long waiting list, get her on now.
Get the Power of attorney. It's very helpful. Get her on the medicine if you can, most of them don't stop the process but slow it down and if she is still doing good this is when you want to slow it down. When she gets bad and in a nursing home, then remove the medication.
As her disease progresses she may have behavioral problems, delusions, depression. They can all be treated with medication. How you approch someone with dementia also makes all the difference in the world, they become very fine tuned to how you talk to them and they don't do well with people rushing them. The Alzheimer's society is a huge help with information and suggestions.
Giz and others; Saw this on the news but couldn't copy it. I found it interesting but I don't know if it would be helpful to you.
Try the link:
Art Awakens Alzheimers Patients
Also, there's apparently a test available now to see if you may be susceptible: (you may be aware of this already)
New Alzeheimers Test Could Be An Early Predictor of Disease
I feel sorry for your mum.. My grandma is turning 90 this coming november and for her age, she doesn't have much problem on her memory. Her eyesight is her problem now though.
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