I wouldn't know where to begin. My mom has always been a rock for me. My dad died at 54 and she was 42 and I was 2½. She basically raised all of us kids (I'm the youngest of 9) all by herself. We never had much, but I never realized it. We always had homemade meals (real potatoes!! fresh apple crisp). She sacrificed SO much for us and I didn't realize it until I grew up. Today is the anniversary of my brother's death - 15 years - and she is still my support and who I turn to when I need guidance. She helped me through my 4 miscarriages, sometimes by words of wisdom, sometimes by saying nothing.
She always said she learned so many wonderful things from her mother and she so lovingly passed them on to me. I never realized I grew up with a single mother until I was older - she just made life so normal for all of us.
I guess what my mother gave me the most was to trust your gut, trust God and oreos and milk are a good comfort when you need it!
If I can be a fraction of the mother to my girls as she has been to me, life will be good.
[QUOTE=marybethp;1896079]I never realized I grew up with a single mother until I was older - she just made life so normal for all of us.
I copied this part and sent it to my recently widowed friend who is struggling to make life normal for her 2 young kids. I thought it might give her inspiration. I hope you don't mind.
Your mom sounds like a truly special lady.
Wow Marybeth, your story sounds like mine. My dad died when he was 52 and my mom was 45. She raised 5 kids on $25 a week plus tips and I never felt like I was deprived of anything. If God ever put a saint on this earth it was my mother. I learned from my mom by her actions. She only saw good in everyone. My sig line is but one example.
Marybethp and Unk, I know how you feel, as my mother was a treasure, too. :) My father also died unexpectedly at a young age (44, mom was 43), and my mother taught me many things, but especially these:
Originally Posted by marybethp
Love your husband, but don't rely on him solely for everything. Know how to make a living for yourself...how to be independent, because you just never know what the future holds. Always have a backup plan for the important things in life just in case. She also taught me life can be unfair, and you need to learn to roll with the punches. It's easy to be a winner, but people who stretch themselves fail more often than they succeed, so learn from your mistakes, and be a good loser.
She was a fantastic mother and an even greater grandmother. She had a wonderful zest for life and found wonder in the most menial things. Even in her 70's she continued to learn new things by taking vacations at Indian reservations where they taught their weavings, or at resorts that offered specialized cooking classes. She treasured friendships and actually had friends follow her from New York to California that at her death she had known for 60 years. Mr. Rose adored her so much, he actually hoped she'd move in with us someday...honestly. I miss her daily, but feel fortunate I had her as long as I did (she passed away in 2001 at 77). :hrtbeat CantGetNuf, thanks for starting this thread so I can remember my mom like this. :cheek
I'm glad to see so many good memories of your mothers. I wish I had the same. I think we were a burden to her and she couldn't wait to get out of the house and away from us. She started working in the late '50's (when women really didn't do that) and continued until we all were out of the house and on our own. In her eyes she was a good mother, but I don't think she was a mom.
"don't be ugly" was one of my grandmother's favorite sayings. I can still hear her voice saying it. My nothern friends didn't understand me when I've said it, so it must be a Southern thing maybe?
Your mom sounds like a great mom and great person. You are blessed.
My mom would always say to me during high school "Don't let those geeky guys pass you by, they are the future"....
Oh she was so right. ;)
Yep, it's a southern thing. And thank you.
Originally Posted by myrosiedog
Here's another. You know how when someone says something and you respond with "No way" or such. When you did that with my mom she would just say, in her darling southern accent, "Well, just call me a liar then." I used that on my kids and boy did it piss them off. :lol
My daughter came home from a date one night. She lived with me her senior year of college. She told me she was arguing with her b/f and used that line on him. She said he got so pissed she could hardly keep a straight face. Granny Sue would be so proud. The tradition moves on to another generation. :up
Same here! My mom and dad divorced when I was 5 and she didn't remarry until I was 14. So, she worked two jobs most of the time just to make ends meet and keep my brother and I fed and clothed. She worked her butt off and wasn't around alot until my step-dad came along and she could quit one of her jobs. But when she was around, she always made us laugh! She has the best sense of humor and has always been so much fun. Her mother was the same way. She had 10 children and still worked a full time job. I have NO idea how she managed that! She used to say she had so many kids because they didn't have electricity and there was nothing else to do when it got dark. :lol
Originally Posted by Gutmutter
Mom and I are the best of friends now and talk nearly everyday. She still makes me laugh and I love hanging out with her. What makes me love her even more is the way she is with my kids. She entertains them, loves on them, and spoils them rotten everytime she visits. I couldn't ask for a better grandmother for them and they adore her! :biglove
All of your thoughts about your mothers are very kind and refreshing.
I guess the best I can say about my mom is that "she did the best with what she knew at the time". Her style of upbringing, perfectionism, overprotection and criticism has caused me a lot of problems and a lot of fodder for a psychiatrist and psychologist or two :lol. But I know she didn't mean any harm by it. It's just her way.
I actually wished that she would get a job, give us some space, and mingle with other moms and friends which she never did. But I also know that other kids wish they had my Mom as their Mom. Getting hot lunches in thermoses and getting picked up in a warm car in the winter. Wanting to know how my day went at school and such. She just went totally overboard on the control side. Sometimes the grass is always greener .....
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL YOU MOMS OUT THERE!
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