Guys, How NOT to get a date!

[MRD]

Yeah, it's easy to talk . . .

I'm not trying to turn this into Relationships II, my original remark was meant to be a one-liner.

The only time women lined up for me was when I had a slapping booth at the County Fair.

Women with small children come up to me all the time. The women point at me, and say, "See, this is what happens when you don't eat your vegetables " Dozens of kids have turned vegetarian right there on the spot. I also have a thriving business of renting myself out for porch displays at Halloween.

I always say that if you can't be a good example then you might as well serve as a horrible warning! (btw, I am in the horrible warning category, never was much of a good example)

This reminds me of a an old friend that had lost a leg to cancer and was on crutches. We ran into him at the videostore and my then 3 year old says (they ALWAYS do this to you) "What happened to your leg?". He was so good about it and said without missing a beat: "I didnt' listen to my mom and dad and it fell off". She was good as gold for a LONG time after that.

[joeguy]

Women with small children come up to me all the time. The women point at me, and say, "See, this is what happens when you don't eat your vegetables " Dozens of kids have turned vegetarian right there on the spot. .

wow, you get that too huh?

[nlmcp]

Oh come on you two, I can't believe it's that bad.

I'm failing to understand men who have wonderful gleaming cars or bikes who clearly have spent time and money on them, who have horrible rotting teeth or wear clothes that clearly fit them 10 years ago. How can you be so focused on taking care of the car and not take care of yourself?

Or maybe it's just a Detroit thing, we have so many car obsessed guys here.

[Newfherder]

Oh come on you two, I can't believe it's that bad.

Actually, I understated my case. In high school, I was turned down for a part in The Hunchback of Notre Dame because I was too ugly to play Quasimodo.

If I have self-esteem issues, it is because of my upbringing. Things started going bad when I had to wear hand-me-downs. There's normally nothing wrong with that, but my three next-older siblings are all girls. Then I found out that I was adopted. Then I found out that the adoption was a dare--one of Dad's co-workers dared him to go to the orphanage and adopt the ugliest kid. If you watch the home movies of my childhood, you won't find me in any of them. Mom said that I wasn't right for the part.

Disclaimer: I may have exagerated a bit in this post.

[just1paul]

Allright - that is just waaaay too out there!

[misskitty]

You guys are in a league of your own.....too funny

[haejin]

Actually, I understated my case. In high school, I was turned down for a part in The Hunchback of Notre Dame because I was too ugly to play Quasimodo.

Quasimodo must've been one hell of a looker, then. I'm literally LOLing!

[nlmcp]

I think someone may have exagerated just a tad.

Maybe your hump was in the wrong place to play Quasimondo?

[Amy Lee]

If I have self-esteem issues, it is because of my upbringing. Things started going bad when I had to wear hand-me-downs. There's normally nothing wrong with that, but my three next-older siblings are all girls.

You are too good!!!! Hope you at least enjoyed the clothes.

[Newfherder]

You are too good!!!! Hope you at least enjoyed the clothes.

Well, the prom dress was pretty . . .