Oh god, I could write a novel on this topic! Take, for proof of my supreme klutziness, the fact that I broke my leg playing tennis (yeah, I know it's a noncontact sport!)
You might have read the stories elsewhere, but I'll centralize here!
The Clumsiest Gondolier
I worked my entire senior year of high school so that I could go on the senior trip to Europe after graduation. I'd worked my butt off to save the money (as opposed to everyone else whose parents had paid for it) so I was determined to enjoy every second of it. So we get to Venice (I actually didn't really care for it as much as Rome or especially Florence--it was too dirty). Anyway, so we do the touristy thing and go on gondola rides. Well there are four of us in my gondola, plus the gondolier. He asks if anyone else wants to pole, and I jump up (I think he was trying to hit on the three girls in the boat, and the guy jumps up well, he asked!). So I get up on the platform he was standing on and take the pole from him. I proceed to firmly plant it on the bottom of the canal and push (which you're supposed to do). Evidently I pushed too hard, because I completely lost my footing (which you're not supposed to do) and landed squarely on my butt on the edge of the platform. I then bounced down into the main part of the gondola and hit the edge so hard I almost dumped us all into the canal! Hmmm, after that no one wanted to pole the boat
I Wasn't Ready for That Jelly
So one day while taking a shower I'm grooving along with Beyonce's "naughty girl" (some people sing in the shower, I dance--stop laughing!). Anyway, in a spectacular display of the butterfly effect, I messed up a word to the song (I lip-sync when I dance), so I said "%$&@" and clenched my fists. Well, this caused the soap to slip out of my hand, where it promptly slid down the wall and onto the floor, where my foot landed about 1/2 a second later from completing the dance move I was in. I succeeded in slipping just like a cartoon slips on a banana peel, flying up. I grabbed the shower curtain to break my fall, which caused the pole to come down (but only after ripping several eyelets). The pole (which is spring-loaded) then shot across the room and dented the trash can!
Is That a Thong, or are You Just Happy to See Me?
I ended up falling asleep at my then significant other's place on a Thursday night after going out, and woke up about 8:00 on Friday, exactly when my class starts (gotta love Friday 8am Health--yeah, I waited until senior year!), so I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get ready for class. Naturally, I can't find my underwear, so I just suck it up, decide to go commando, and pull on my jeans and go. So I get to campus and I'm running up the stairs when I feel something caught on my foot. I shake it off without even looking and keep going. I notice some people dying laughing behind me but keep going. I make it to class at 8:10 (which is a record, by the way!) and sit through class until 9:15 wondering where in heck my underwear is. I knew I had set them on top of my jeans the night before so I'd know where they were, but then they were just gone. So class gets out and I head down the stairs when what do I see in the MIDDLE of the stairwell? MY UNDERWEAR!!! I almost died on the spot! I just walked right past them like everyone else, sort of looking at them disgusted like the others, and run out to my car and drive away as fast as I could! The worst part about the whole thing is that we had gone out to a trendy place in Savannah, where I wore these tight leather pants, so I was wearing, how do you say, "skimpy" underwear. I had left a change of clothes in my car, but I had forgotten new underwear (so ended up wearing what I had worn to the club until I went to bed). So I know that a group of people got WAY more than they bargained for on a Friday morning when they're going up the stairs behind a guy whose rather skimpy undies come falling out of his jeans!
Okay, that's enough for now! I'm sure I'll come up with more later
by the way, I LOVE your av, HomerRules!!! >insert Mark Snow music here<