Most Embarassing:

[chirospasm]

Oh god, I could write a novel on this topic! Take, for proof of my supreme klutziness, the fact that I broke my leg playing tennis (yeah, I know it's a noncontact sport!)

You might have read the stories elsewhere, but I'll centralize here!

The Clumsiest Gondolier
I worked my entire senior year of high school so that I could go on the senior trip to Europe after graduation. I'd worked my butt off to save the money (as opposed to everyone else whose parents had paid for it) so I was determined to enjoy every second of it. So we get to Venice (I actually didn't really care for it as much as Rome or especially Florence--it was too dirty). Anyway, so we do the touristy thing and go on gondola rides. Well there are four of us in my gondola, plus the gondolier. He asks if anyone else wants to pole, and I jump up (I think he was trying to hit on the three girls in the boat, and the guy jumps up well, he asked!). So I get up on the platform he was standing on and take the pole from him. I proceed to firmly plant it on the bottom of the canal and push (which you're supposed to do). Evidently I pushed too hard, because I completely lost my footing (which you're not supposed to do) and landed squarely on my butt on the edge of the platform. I then bounced down into the main part of the gondola and hit the edge so hard I almost dumped us all into the canal! Hmmm, after that no one wanted to pole the boat

I Wasn't Ready for That Jelly
So one day while taking a shower I'm grooving along with Beyonce's "naughty girl" (some people sing in the shower, I dance--stop laughing!). Anyway, in a spectacular display of the butterfly effect, I messed up a word to the song (I lip-sync when I dance), so I said "%$&@" and clenched my fists. Well, this caused the soap to slip out of my hand, where it promptly slid down the wall and onto the floor, where my foot landed about 1/2 a second later from completing the dance move I was in. I succeeded in slipping just like a cartoon slips on a banana peel, flying up. I grabbed the shower curtain to break my fall, which caused the pole to come down (but only after ripping several eyelets). The pole (which is spring-loaded) then shot across the room and dented the trash can!

Is That a Thong, or are You Just Happy to See Me?
I ended up falling asleep at my then significant other's place on a Thursday night after going out, and woke up about 8:00 on Friday, exactly when my class starts (gotta love Friday 8am Health--yeah, I waited until senior year!), so I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get ready for class. Naturally, I can't find my underwear, so I just suck it up, decide to go commando, and pull on my jeans and go. So I get to campus and I'm running up the stairs when I feel something caught on my foot. I shake it off without even looking and keep going. I notice some people dying laughing behind me but keep going. I make it to class at 8:10 (which is a record, by the way!) and sit through class until 9:15 wondering where in heck my underwear is. I knew I had set them on top of my jeans the night before so I'd know where they were, but then they were just gone. So class gets out and I head down the stairs when what do I see in the MIDDLE of the stairwell? MY UNDERWEAR!!! I almost died on the spot! I just walked right past them like everyone else, sort of looking at them disgusted like the others, and run out to my car and drive away as fast as I could! The worst part about the whole thing is that we had gone out to a trendy place in Savannah, where I wore these tight leather pants, so I was wearing, how do you say, "skimpy" underwear. I had left a change of clothes in my car, but I had forgotten new underwear (so ended up wearing what I had worn to the club until I went to bed). So I know that a group of people got WAY more than they bargained for on a Friday morning when they're going up the stairs behind a guy whose rather skimpy undies come falling out of his jeans!

Okay, that's enough for now! I'm sure I'll come up with more later

by the way, I LOVE your av, HomerRules!!! >insert Mark Snow music here<

[brenna]

Oh my gosh, chiro, I was laughing my butt off on the shower story especially. Sounds like something you'd see on Mr. Bean!

[Tallulahbaby]

Great ones Chiro!! Love your AV as well!

[Lucy]

at Chiro's underwear story!

[Daddio]

Once I was in a band that was playing at a dive bar...one of those VERY dimly lit places. I was not feeling great that night, it was the end of winter and I had a sore throat. I forgot to bring any Halls or Cough Drops to the gig, so I was chugging water, juice, 7up, whatever I could get my hands on as cold liquid is all that would really relieve the dryness and soreness in my throat.

Needless to say, by the end of the first set I needed to visit the can. The doors were not exactly clearly marked and I entered the ladies room by mistake. I didnt realize this right away although looking back I should have realized that there were only stalls instead of a stall/urinal combo in the room. But I was also running a bit of a fever and was not totally in control of my senses.

As I was in the stall I could hear what appeared to be womens voices. Then it dawned on me. Duh. You are in the wrong bathroom brainiac. So I tried to lay low and wait for them to leave to make my escape.

But a few minutes passed and I realized the other guys in the band would wonder where the heck I was as the second set would be starting soon.

So I had to make a move. When I came out of the stall - the bathroom which was empty when I entered it - was now a buzz of activity and chuck full of patrons. There was a girl waiting for my stall, two in front of the mirrors and one walking in etc. probably about a half-dozen all together.

As non-challantly as I could, I just kept my eyes straight ahead and walked towards the door. I even stopped and quickly washed my hands and combed my hair. As I left the bathroom I nodded my head and said "ladies".

As we were about three songs into the next set I saw one of the girls talking to the bouncer and pointing up at me. I worried that she was going to tell him what I had done and had me booted from the bar.

After the gig, however, the bouncer told me she was just asking who I was and other general info about me (I guess she thought I was cute awww).

But to this day, anytime we are in a club or bar and I start heading towards the men's room - my band mates will say "Hey Daddio, aren't you going in the wrong bathroom?

[Jay]

As non-challantly as I could, I just kept my eyes straight ahead and walked towards the door. I even stopped and quickly washed my hands and combed my hair. As I left the bathroom I nodded my head and said "ladies".

Daddio, you are cooler than James Bond de-activating a nuclear bomb.

[maleady33]

I love reading these. I don't have any really bad ones that I can think of right now...

[Zaius]

This wasn't embarassing as much as we thought it was funny. My friend and I were both in the same car and we were to be lead from a party to some other party by some other guy in his car that knew the way (we didn't). So I was the passenger and my friend follows this Honda Civic first through surface streets then on the freeway. It was a long way so we talked etc... paying minimal attention to the car ahead of us but making sure it was still there.

Soon, the guy's car started making some weird lane changes, and my friend decided to pay more attention and follow more closely. Some really weird lane changes later, the guy's car breaks to the right and exits at the last second and we barely manage to exit right behind him. Then the car barrels down the exit and takes a hard right. My friend doesn't want to lose him but doesn't understand what's going on so he floors it as well. The guy's car twists and turns, takes shortcuts through intersections by driving through gas stations, and my friend follows suit. The car is breaking every speed limit and eventually makes a crazy U-Turn that we simply couldn't match.

Exasperated, we decide to just give up trying to follow this guy, but curious as to what the heck is going on we look at the guy as he is driving towards us on the other side of the street. All we see is a terrorized face we have never seen before. As you might have guessed, we apparently lost the original guy on the freeway, and gave chase to some poor random man who thought we were trying to harm him and was trying every evasive maneuver in the book to ditch us. That gave us a good laugh.

[Zaius]

Oh and I forgot to mention that the stranger obviously had an identical car to the one we were originally following.

[JunkieGirl]

Keep Em coming folks These are hilarious!!!