I'm sorry no one helped you, Applesauce!
You reminded me of a face-burning moment when I was pregnant. My mother-in-law is, well, to put it kindly, a piece of work. She doesn't like me, but then, she doesn't like any of my husband's friends or old girlfriends, so I learned a long time ago not to take it personally.
When I was pregnant, though, she went into overdrive. There were many odd and awkward moments, like reminiscing at Thanksgiving in front of lots of extended family that "if only" my husband had called some girl back who left a message for him in high school, and going on and on about what pretty blonde hair she had, etc. (I don't know if my husband is just wonderfully loyal but he swears he doesn't even know who his mom could have been talking about. ) Whatever vile thought she had would just come popping out of her mouth for those nine months.
The worst was when I was about 7-8 months along, you know, about the time you gain the ability to balance a cup of water on your stomach.:rolleyes A great time for a woman's self-esteem. Anyway, we went out to a popular touristy restaurant where we lived in Santa Barbara. We had to wait a few minutes for a table, then the hostess took us to our seats.
Apparently, my MIL had spent that time checking out the hostess, because as soon as the girl had made all of three steps away she declared in a loud, carrying voice : "Honey, did you see that girl? She was so gorgeous. I've never seen an Asian girl with such a big bust!" (Actually, she phrased it differently - but this is a PG13 site.)
I swear it seemed like the entire restaurant froze for a moment. My FIL, my husband and I all had red faces with mortified expressions; then, the two of them started a conversation about computers or some such and I was stuck there with the insane urge to laugh - not because it was funny, but some sort of emotional meltdown. After a few minutes of choking down the giggles I excused myself to the bathroom. I felt like crawling out the window and leaving my husband to eat alone with his embarassing kin, but when you're that pregnant your options are limited.
That's the first time I started to think maybe my MIL is mentally ill and not just a "character."