I walk into glass doors often.. even when sober.
I walk into glass doors often.. even when sober.
These are really great. It's good to know I'm not the only one who embarrasses myself regularly.
I work in an assisted living facility and we've had quite a few employees come and go. We also have a lot of visiting nurses come in. Well my husbands grandmother was in the hospital so we go to visit her. As I'm walking past the nurses station with my aunt and uncle in law I see a nurse I recognize but can't remember from where. She smiles at me so I know she recognizes me to. So I walk up to her and say "Where do I know you from?" She looks at me like i'm crazy and says, "Um I've lived across the street from you for 10 yrs." I hadn't realized the girl who lives across the street from me had grown up and become a nurse. Why the floor doesn't open up and suck you down at times like that I don't know.
When I was stationed in Korea I had to take the bus everywhere. So I get off the bus and have to cross the street to get on a different bus. It was only a two lane road so there was a lot of traffic waiting on us to cross the street. Plus a lot of people waiting at the stop. So I start to jog across the street. I see a Lieutenant so I start a snappy salute. That's when I hit the crack in the pavement. I didn't just trip or fall. I catapulted into the air doing a front flip, land on my back and roll to my feet. Like that wasn't bad enough the Lieutenant throws up both hands fingers spread and yells "10!!" So there I was 20yrs old and hiding behind the bus stop. Later friends tried to make me feel better by saying "At least you got a 10. It would have been worse if he had scored you a 5 or something."
My most embarrassing high school moment. I was in math class. The guy I had the biggest secret crush on and thought of as a Viking God sat in the row next to me and one seat behind me. So everyone is working and it's really quiet. I sneezed and when I did I pooted. There I am praying "Please God don't let anyone else have heard that. Especially him." Then the guy who sat behind me tapped me on the shoulder and said "Did you know when you sneezed you farted." Once again the floor did not open to suck me down.
Bwaaahahaha! thanks for the laughs guys!
"Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one."
When I lived in Winnipeg my best friend's father was a minister, and the church was planning a rummage sale, and my friend had volunteered to help organize it. We were walking to the church on the evening prior to the sale, when we were caught in a thunderstorm and were soaking wet when we got there. Anyway, there were racks of used clothing, so we changed in to the frilliest old lady dresses we could find, , when, we heard some people coming into the church. We ran to the bathroom to hide, there wasn't anytime to change back in to our street clothes, and I'm sort of laughing, but my friend is freaking out as his parents don't know he's gay yet, and this is a fairly conservative Anglican church. As luck would have it, someone needed to use the bathroom, so we had to face them, dresses and all.
I was in our house, and I was having an argument with someone. We were yelling pretty loud, I don't remember what the argument was about. It was at night & I was getting ready to go to work the night shift. SO as I come out the door onto the porch, I'm still yelling & I dropped an "F-BOMB", and all the sudden I hear someone go "oh my". It was my neighbor, she was standing right in her driveway with her dog, trying to hide up against her garage door. I lived in town so the houses were very close to each other. She was no doubt listening to the entire argument. It's a good thing it was pitch dark out because my face probably turned 5 shades of red. I hurried to my car & took off. lol.
One of my mosmt embarassing moment hapened just two weeks ago, at my school's prom. Me and my friend, we went to the bathroom to "touch-up". THe Prom queen nominees had been annouced an the bathroom had loads of girls talking, and digusted by a certain nominee. So I really start umm "b**ching" about a certain nominee I had too much "coke" I guess I wasn't the only one surprised that, a certain person got nominated, so we were all really going on and on, being disgusted that she got nominated. I started saying how it was the group of teachers who nominated her, because that person is somewhat of a 'teachers-pet'. So I just kept going on and on, how she only got nominated because of her 'sucking-up' habits . the girls leave, i'm waiting from my friend, I hear *flussh* and the vice-principle comes out . I felt my heart sink right then and there. She didn't say anything and then left. My friend came out, I told her if she could here what I was saying before, and she said "loud and clear".
this is the type of thing that would happen in a teenage sitcom, but it happened to me
Mine would be falling down while receiving my 'O' Levels results. It was very funny. I just got my results, and was walking about, and reading the result slip, and I walked up and down the stage. So I didn't see, and I missed a step, and fell flat on the floor. Thankfully, I think most of the people were too carried away with their results and talking with friends that they didn't notice.
One time when I was about 10 years old my older brother and his friend used to call each other names just for fun. One day the phone rang and I answered it, and hearing a familiar voice on the other end I promptly said "hiya bonehead".. turned out it was my father calling.
Worse than that, one summer when I was about 18 or 19 years old I was teaching swimming lessons. One day I dove into the pool and proceeded to make my way down to the shallow end to start my class with the little beginners. After a short time one of the other instructors took me aside, it turned out that one of my straps had broken on impact with the water and my oh my what a show I was giving to those young fathers who had stuck around to watch their kids. I never ducked under the water so fast! I ran home and changed into another swimsuit and the worst part was when I came back to the pool to finish the lessons the parents were pointing at me and whispering "oh look, she's got a different suit on".
There are so many possibilities I don't even know where to start. The concussion in math class? Tearing my rotator cuff falling out of the shower? Slipping on a grate on a downtown Seattle street, flying into the air and landing on my ass in front of 10 people? Falling up the dining hall stairs in college? And that is just the tip of the iceberg.
Here is another classic Applesauce moment:
I was 8 months pregnant and pretty large. Every afternoon I would go to the local yoghurt shop to get a little treat. This shop is very tiny and has a huge line of people out the door day and night during the summer. One very hot day, I was leaving with my treat. Too eager to wait, I decided to take a bite while walking out the door. So engrossed in my frozen yoghurt, I forgot about the wierd step down, twisted my ankle, fell on my side and started rolling across the side walk landing with my yoghurt in my face. There were at least 40 people watching this unfold. It happened so fast, no one could do anything but watch. It took every ounce of my pride to remove my face from the yoghurt, stand up in front of the crowd, make sure I was alright, then limp to the car with my tail between my legs. (Baby was fine too.)
I think this was especially hard for me because I try so hard to stay low key and not draw attention to myself. I really dislike being the center of attention.